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"Okay," is all I can manage.
GROWING STRONGER
Istraighten the front of my jacket and shift the knot of my tie so it is dead center. I have never been nervous about a business meeting before, but I am now, and I know it is not because of the content of the meeting. It is because of the person I am meeting and how much she knows about me.
Sheshouldknow about me since she is going to be the mother of my child, but I still find it uncomfortable that it is so easy to tell her my deepest, darkest secrets.
I wonder if this is all madness. We are going to parent together, and now, we are going to work together too. I do not usually attend meetings like this, but since we do not have a company until we hire more people, Teal will need the support. And I do find myself wanting to be around her. I hope I have made this decision based on the woman she is and not because of how she makes me feel when I have my dick inside her.
There are so many reasons not to engage in a relationship like this, but I am diving in head first. And I hate, hate,hatethat she makes me nervous.
I am only meeting her for coffee and to discuss our first clients, but she knows me better than anyone in the world, and it scares me.
I shake it from my mind. I am a powerful and competent businessman who can take whatever the world throws at me.
The coffee shop is not busy when I walk in, and I spot Teal near the back of the large room with a massive table all to herself. She has documents spread over the entire surface.
She looks up when I enter, and I catch her eye. I mime buying her a coffee, but she gestures toward the one on the table.
To be honest, I am not sure what to expect. I made it clear that she was to work for her salary, but I thought she might take the payday now that she is pregnant. I will gladly give her as much money as she needs—the mother of my child should not want for anything either, but she is working for her salary. I respect that.
I add a couple of pastries to my order and take them over to the table with my coffee.
"How is the baby?" I ask. "Is he or she kicking yet?"
"No." Teal smiles. "That is still a long time off. You really need to do your research."
I take a seat. "You are right. I have been spending a lot of time researching potential clients so we can hit the ground running, but the baby is more important than that."
"I'm glad to hear you say that, Logan. I've been thinking a lot about this baby ever since I got pregnant, and then I thought about what you think of it all, and there is the whole abortion thing."
"I am not going to—"
"I know." Teal collates some of the documents and pushes them to one side. "I… My father was absent for most of my childhood. It really messed me up."
"And you are worried that I will do the same to our child."
"Iwasworried, but not anymore." Teal takes a sip of her drink and eyes the pastries I just placed on the table. "I know you are going to be around for our child."
"I am." I slide the plate forward so she can take one of the croissants. "My worldview has shifted since I learned I would be a father. Before you told me I was going to be a father, I had two views on the whole subject. On one hand, I never wanted to be a father—with the life I live, I never thought it was for me. On the other hand, I always felt a sense of duty to have a child to carry on my bloodline—someone to inherit my wealth. It’s a primitive feeling that I needed a part of me out there in the world long after I was dead."
"And now?" Teal takes a large bite of the croissant, and her eyes show some pleasure.
"Everything has shifted," I reply. "I have a child coming into the world, but I do not care about him or her carrying on my bloodline. I don't even care about him or her inheriting any wealth. I want to… I think I want the child to become a better person than me. I do not think I am all that bad.” I chuckle. “However, I want the child to go out and improve the world in ways I never could. I know it sounds very cliche."
"No, it sounds nice." Teal takes another bite before finishing it off. "I've been thinking a lot about it too. I guess I want the same thing you do—for our child to go out and make the world a better place. But at a more basic level, I want our child to be happy and feel loved."
"Our child will. Our whole relationship so far has been a mess, but there is no doubt that we will shower this child with love. Unless we are both exceptional liars…"
"Even we have our limits." Teal laughs.
It has been building, but the thought of having a child with Teal is exciting. I know it is not only the idea of having a child… it is having itwithher.
"What, um, what happened with your father?" I take another drink of my coffee. "You do not have to talk about it if you do not want to."
"It's fine. Besides, you were vulnerable with me. I like that we can be open and honest with each other. My story is not a secret—it is about how much of an asshole he was, how much of an asshole he still is."
"I am sorry."
