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“Work out the shopping details with your guards. And spend my money, not yours.”
“I can—” She starts to protest about the money, but something changes her mind.
While my dick doesn’t shrink in the presence of a woman who has a fatter bank account than I do, she doesn’t. Although at some point, she’ll inherit vast wealth. More money, less money—I don’t care about any of it. I want her to buy whatever she wants, because it makes me happy to make her happy. What’s the point of having money if it doesn’t make you happy?
I lower my head and run my tongue along her clavicle, placing a small kiss at the top. “I’d love to crawl back in bed with you, but I promised Gabe that we’d get breakfast before going to the sporting goods store for a tent. I can’t disappoint him.”
“Those kids think you walk on water. You’re so good with them. You’re going to make a great father.” She flushes. “I didn’t mean—oh God.”
I snicker. “Everything doesn’t need a qualification. I don’t think—for a single second—that you’re jonesing for me to put a baby in you.”
She shakes her head. “I’m nowhere near ready to be a mum.”
“But you want kids one day?” I ask, in part to ease her embarrassment, but also because I’m curious.
“Me?” she asks with a wry smile. “A houseful.”
“A houseful?” I chuckle.
“I’m an only child, of parents without siblings. I’ve always wanted a brood running around, traipsing mud into the house, and making a lot of noise. You’re surprised.”
So many pieces to the puzzle that’s Lexie. “I am.”
“Because you don’t think I have a maternal bone in my body?”
“I did not say that. I just—”
“Just what?”
“Just keep on surprising me, Angel. It’s good for my soul.” I slide my hand to the nape of her neck and claim her mouth. When she yields to me, I deepen the kiss, knowing that not all surprises are equal.
39
LEXIE
Spend my money, not yours. It’s another way of saying, Let me take care of you, which he says often. It always seemed to be about sex—at least that’s what I assumed. But that’s just part of it—the surface layer. It actually means something else. Something all-encompassing. Profound.
Let me take care of you in a way that I couldn’t take care of her. He’s never actually said it, but I’m starting to think that’s what it means. That’s where the fear of hurting me comes from—I’m sure of it. His father might be in hell, but before he got there, he left wounds on Rafael’s soul, so pervasive that they’ve never healed. Maybe they never will. Maybe they’ll fester over a lifetime, eventually poisoning him and everything he holds dear. Like what’s happening with my father.
I’ve been battling my father’s demons for a long time—without much success. I’m not sure I have the strength left to battle Rafael’s. I’m not afraid of a fight, but I don’t think this is one I can win. Love is a powerful force, but it does not conquer all.
“Good morning,” Tamar says brightly, dragging me out of my head. “I heard you’d be here this morning.”
“Let me guess, you spoke with Rafael.”
She smiles. “Yes. He wanted to let me know that he spilled the secret about working for me—for Premier.”
“Was he not supposed to?”
She sighs. “I’m trying to teach these men how to stay in their lane, but I’m not having much success. Will you come on and help?”
I pause, because in the last couple of days he’s spilled a lot of things, and I haven’t had much time to focus on this particular one. It’s an extraordinary opportunity, but a big step too. Not because of my freelancing work, but if things don’t work out between Rafael and me, I’ll have turned my entire life upside down.
“You have misgivings?” Tamar is not only perceptive, but she’s up-front, which is another reason I like her.
“I’m excited about the opportunity to work with you. You’re so talented, and I could learn so much—I’ve already learned so much. But I’m sleeping with my boss’s boss, and if things don’t work out, my life will have been upended.”
“I know the feeling. I left a job that I loved, colleagues I admired, and my family, to take a job in another country, worlds away from mine. I didn’t have a single friend here. And to top it off, I was pretty sure Rafael wasn’t excited about having a former spy work for him.”
