AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Friday’s demonstration, can you make it? I’d love if you could be there. It’ll feel so much sweeter if you see it in action. 11 a.m. at Parking Lot Three of the state park.”
Send.
I didn’t even re-read it. Just as well, because I’d probably find something wrong with it.
Ranger’s nails tap on the tiles as he joins me in the kitchen. “Are you ready for tomorrow’s challenge, bud?”
He wags in reply. Ranger is always ready.
My phone pings.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
That’s my Alli.
Ugh, not my Alli. Just my friend, Alli.
But who am I kidding? If she was just my friend, I wouldn’t be stressing like this about how she feels and how I feel and what to say…
This is not the time. I have to see this project through. Maybe once the final go-ahead is in place, then we can figure out what on earth is happening between us.
I could maybe broach the subject with her…
My heart races just at the thought. No way. I can’t take that on until I’m ready to hear any possible answer. And as long as it’s possible, she might look on me with pity and say, “Ter-Ter, you know I love you, just not that way.”
I can’t bear it. My heart is twisting along with my stomach imagining those words.
Why? Why did I make that ridiculous childhood promise that we would be friends forever? I knew even then, didn’t I?
I did. I knew it from the time my six-year-old self laid eyes on her. At least, I knew it in the six-year-old way. I had to get close to her. I had to see those eyes looking into mine. I had to make her smile, hear her laugh. So I did what every self-respecting six-year-old does when they have feelings they don’t know what to do with—I tripped her.
I hadn’t planned it that way. I think I just wanted to touch her somehow, and as a six-year-old, it’s impossible to know how to do that to anyone who isn’t your mom or class-time buddy for the trip to the library when they make you hold hands. That’s a very specific memory, but it was because I had to hold hands with Meredith Foster, and she didn’t want to let go. It was awkward trying to find books about tractors when she was dead-set on the fairytale section and dragging me along.
So when I saw Alli coming down the hall, I had to do something, anything. And I tripped her. Oh, how she flew. The kids behind her were aghast. Nobody ever did anything like that to Alli. She was the sweetest girl in class, never spoke badly about a soul.
I’ll never forget when she stood up, brushed herself off, and strutted in my direction. I thought I finally had my chance! Maybe I could hug her, maybe I could hold her hand, or maybe we could play tetherball after school.
She came nose to nose with me, her eyes soft and curious, her head tilted to the side, and then—BAM.
I can’t say exactly how it felt, but my body crumpled into a ball, and I couldn’t breathe for a minute.
Once the feeling passed, I stood back up, and she was still there.
At that moment, I knew it. If we could get through that trial, me making her fall on her face and her kneeing me in the family jewels, then we were going to be together forever.
That’s why when we were behind the middle school, and she made me promise we would always be friends, I felt like I had no choice. She was offering forever friendship—how could I say no?
It wasn’t a bet I was willing to lose.
That was a long time ago. We were kids. Sure, I’ve always wanted more. But having her in my life—guaranteed—was worth more than risking it on a whim that she might not feel the same way.
But I know she remembers that moment, and I know she’s counting on our friendship as much as I am.
How can I put that at risk now?
I flop on the bed, letting the pillows bounce over my face. Ranger jumps up and nuzzles into my side.
“Thanks, boy. It’s just that I’d rather be snuggling with a human. Female. Named Alli.”
