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"Enough, Simone.”I don’t recognize my own voice, and yet, it feels more myself than I’ve been in a long time. She recoils, her head tilted sideway as if to speak.
But it’s my turn to take control.
“I am the one who makes decisions for Grandmama’s well-being. I am the one who decides who will care for her. And I am the one who will decide who stays or goes.”
Years, I have tried to find the words in the moment to put Simone in her place, and today is the first time I was able to get the words out. My body shakes, the force of wanting to say this for so long, and also the dread of whatever might happen next. It’s as though I’ve opened a fissure, one which will never close again.
Simone stands so violently from the table that the chair falls backwards, but all I feel is relief as she storms out, slamming the door behind her. Before I can breathe, she throws the dining room door back open.
"Who do you think I am, Olivier?" Her face is a combination of furious and incredulous. "You think I'm still an adolescent chasing behind you, like I was fortunate to walk the very earth where you had passed? I'm not that girl anymore, Olivier. Now,” her voice lowers to an earthquake’s rumble, “fire that American."
At last, she leaves.
I need to rest, just a few minutes. Gather my thoughts.
“I’ve never heard you speak like that.” Sebastien’s voice is barely above a whisper. “What’s come over you?”
“I need to think.” He nods and watches me from behind the doorway before continuing onward.
My head feels heavy on my hands. Simone is constantly inserting herself into situations where she doesn't belong. She's never been able to endear herself to Grandmama, even if Simone was Grandmama's preferred match for me. For years she has tried, unsuccessfully, to create an intimacy with the rest of my family.
But Simone under threat is a different animal entirely.
She can rally government officials, journalists, and many of the world's academic elite to meet her goals. She's done it before, always in our favor. But she's never let me forget that she can snap her fingers for—or against—us.
But every time I’ve been told that what I want is secondary to the family, the business, the status quo rolls through my mind like credits in a movie of my life.
It’s time for my story to change. When Father gets back, it will be too late. He will fight me at every turn if I haven’t got Grandmama on my side. I’ve tried before, but this time there’s no trying.
Things have to change around here, and I’m the one to change them.
I have to talk to Grandmama.
She won’t like what I have to say, but in her current state, she can't storm out the door and slam it on me the way she's done in the past.
I won’t let Grandmama make decisions for me anymore. Nor Father. Nor Simone. I’m done being tossed around, fulfilling the bidding of others in the name of duty. I can’t even trust that the decisions they make are the right ones. The future of the restaurant… my love life… the way Natalie is treated… they all have to change.
“Everything okay in here?”
Natalie is only half in the doorway, tentative as she bites her lip.
“Better than it’s been in a long time.”
She takes a tentative step into the dining room. “You’re different here from the restaurant, you know that?”
I shouldn’t be surprised that she sees it, but shame sneaks in. “I’m not proud of it.”
Emboldened, she walks quickly to the table and sits beside me, as if at any moment we could be interrupted. And she’s right.
“It’s true for us all, Olivier. Why do you think I had to skip the country? You called me brave, but for the same reason, I am a big old chicken. Facing the people who have known us longest and at our worst—that’s brave.”
She swallows hard, our eyes unable to break our gaze on each other.
“You’ll figure it out.” She stands, a gentle and knowing smile on her lips, and takes my chin in her fingers. “I know you will.” It’s a touch more intimate than I’ve ever felt. She rushes out of the room, the sensation of her fingertips still vivid across me.
A wave of peacefulness washes over me. New doors are opening in front of me that I hadn’t even realized had been closed.
Natalie deserves better from me. I deserve better from me. And I will do better. Starting tomorrow… when I finally talk to Grandmama.
