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6
“He screwed up again?”
Cynthia could hear the distress in my voice, and she was instantly on target.
I asked, “Is it that obvious? Shit, I’ve always been so pathetic at hiding anything about how I feel. My mom always knew what was going on in my head when I was little, and she demanded that I tell her.”
Cynthia said,” The sniffling makes it all kind of obvious.”
“Hang on.” It’s impossible to discreetly blow your nose when you’re on the phone, but I did my best. It was a big help, too.
I started to talk again, and I wasn’t sniffling in the background. “Yeah, we tried something that didn’t work. He kind of blew it. I guess some of it’s my fault, too, but it was Nicolas’ idea.”
I heard the snark in Cynthia’s voice when she said, “Interesting choice of words, hun, but would you like me to stop by? We can talk it over with a cup of tea in hand.”
“You know I want you to. I’m going a little nuts here in the house by myself, and I’m worried he will call. I don’t know yet what I should say.” Another wave of tears lurked just behind my eyes.
“I’ll grab something sweet to nibble on, too. Maybe that will help.”
I choked back the tears. “If you go by the bakery, you know what I like, and I love you for it already.”
“Twenty minutes, hun. I’ll be there.”
The phone clicked, and I tossed it to the end of the sofa. Another round of sobs broke through. I wanted to wail. I didn’t think I was angry at Nicolas as much as I was upset with the world for sending Taylor in our direction.
Cynthia wore her “end of summer” dress when she arrived. It had bold patterns over lightweight cotton, but the burnt orange colors warned of cooler weather ahead.
I speculated that perhaps the end of summer would be a positive event. So far, it had been the most intense season I could remember. Unfortunately, I wasn’t expecting a happy ending. I worried that it would end with a spectacular failure.
Cynthia opened her arms wide to hug me with a small paper bag from the bakery dangling in one hand.
I held back the tears and gave my best friend a massive squeeze before escorting her to the sofa. She said, “Tell me what this is all about. You’ve never kept secrets in the past.”
“It’s Nicolas, of course.” I started to tell the entire sordid story and then held my tongue. “Can we talk about this over tea instead? I think the trees relax me.”
“Of course.” Cynthia held out her hand. “I’ll even make the tea.”
I settled into a chair in the kitchen and stared toward the trees through my floor-to-ceiling windows. I changed my mind about the end of summer. I wasn’t looking forward to the trees dropping their leaves. With bare branches, I lost the sense of being wrapped tight by the leafy branches that protected me from the grasp of the city beyond.
Cynthia heated the water and then dropped the paper bag on the table. “Just what you ordered.”
I looked up. “Brownies?”
“Yes, and there’s nothing more comforting than chocolate. They’re still warm. One for each of us.”
While the water bubbled, she carried two small plates to the table. “Now, are you going to tell me what happened?”
I explained Taylor’s work as an apprentice and Nicolas’ interest in physical interaction. Cynthia’s mouth dropped open. I said, “Don’t jump to conclusions. Hear me out. I might be as much to blame in the end.”
Cynthia poured boiling water into the teapot and let the tea steep. She interrupted my story and said, “But he cheated on you, or he wanted to.”
I held up a hand. “Are you going to listen to the whole story? He was upfront about his interest. He asked me, and I agreed. I was the one who freaked out. It wasn’t like Nicolas fucked him.”
Cynthia pushed a mug of hot tea in front of me. “Drink. It will help. I guarantee it.”
I sipped the tea. “But he kissed Taylor. Maybe he forgot himself, as he said, but I can’t watch him kiss another man. I don’t care what else is going on. It felt like someone drove a knife into my back—and then twisted the blade.”
Cynthia held out a bite of brownie. “Eat—this will help too.”
