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‘First of all…’ His tone says we’re fighting. Our first, besides the day he left, which had me so disheveled I didn’t know how to respond. It was like he was a different person to the one I’d gotten to know. Does that guy even exist, or was it all an act? I clutch my chest suddenly because something hurts.
‘Blake isn’t exactly Satan on my shoulder,’ he says, defending his asswipe friend. ‘He’s more of a free-spirited, try anything once, live in the moment kind of guy, and he certainly doesn’t watch his words. He says what he wants, but he’s not influencing me. Truthfully, it’s nice to be around that kind of honesty. It makes my days go by fast.’
‘He’s a mean truth-teller, though, Conner. He insulted me when we “met”, and you said nothing. In fact, you just stood up for him, and I’m the girl you supposedly want to marry.’
He sighs heavily into the phone. ‘I had a few drinks in me, Jay. I’m sorry. I apologize for both Blake’s and my behavior that night.’
He’s apologizing for them both? Right now, I really wish I wasn’t the kind of girl to forgive people easily. But I am. I am because I’ve lost so many important people, and I’d never want to live with hate towards anyone and then have them die.
‘Fine. I accept an apology from you, but Masterblake can kiss off.’
‘Fair enough,’ he says, sounding relieved. ‘I’m walking to the cafeteria for my first meal in ten hours. Tell me things. How are you?’
He wants to talk. Now? While my dad and sister stare out the window, discussing and probably making up words that each of us is saying because that’s one of their favorite games – muting the TV and making up their script. They’re shockingly good at it.
‘Conner, I’m fine. Life is exactly as it was before you left. However, currently, I’m at my monthly family breakfast, and I feel like I can’t leave them to catch you up because it’s already weird not having my mom here. I can’t bail too.’
‘Oh,’ he says. ‘I guess I’ve been so busy I haven’t considered that you have your own life there. I get it. I’ll try to get better at calling when I’ve got a minute. Alright?’
He’ll what? I feel like I need to ask him to repeat himself, but I’m also sure I’ve heard what I’ve heard. I just don’t believe it.
‘Oh-kay?’
Perfect response, Jade. He’ll never know you’re questioning everything about your life right now.
‘I promise, Jay. I love you.’
I practically drop the phone. ‘I. Love. You. Too.’ I say each word slowly with a hard stop and shut up just before the rise of a question mark alerts him to the fact that my emotions are everywhere.
‘Talk later,’ he says gently, hanging up first and leaving me speechless with the phone to my ear long after he’s gone.
The sound of a fist pounding on glass wakes me up, and when I turn towards the window, Laney is sitting at the table with her hands in the air.
Right. Breakfast with my family. I feel like one of those frozen computer screens you swear at before doing the one thing you probably shouldn’t do: intentionally forcing it off and rebooting it. Did Conner and I just have a hard reset?
12
JADE
I’m relieved to be at work tonight. You can’t spend too much time thinking about one topic because the place is always buzzing with people and conversation. That doesn’t mean Kai isn’t interested in knowing exactly what is happening in my personal life. ‘Did you two talk yet?’ were the first words out of her mouth when we finally got a chance to breathe. I tell her all about the phone call at breakfast, including how pissed it made me, and I’m not a girl who gets mad easily. Someone’s got to really push my buttons to activate pissed-off Jade.
‘He apologized?’ Kai asks, somewhat stunned. ‘Was it for the weeks of being a douche or just the one night you complained about?’
I hadn’t even thought of that. I guess it sort of sounded like it was just for that one night.
‘I was stunned he’d called at all, especially with the threat of my father murdering him, so I’m not really sure. But he promised to call more.’
‘You were stunned by his fear of death? Are you kidding? Your father is scary as hell. I for sure wouldn’t want to be on his bad side. He’s in a biker gang,’ she reminds me.
‘He’s in the same gang Thomas is in. Are you scared of him?’
‘I’m scared he’ll fall and break a hip,’ she laughs. ‘Thomas doesn’t count; he’s elderly and adorable. Anyway, we’re off-topic. Did Conner follow through and call you this morning?’ she asks, her tone demanding an answer. She’s pulling her long hair over one shoulder and readjusting our required flower behind one ear.
‘No,’ I say sheepishly.
‘Text?’ she asks, turning to me instead of staring at herself in the small mirror we use to ensure we look good throughout the night without leaving the bar unless it’s for our scheduled breaks.
He did text. But it wasn’t impressive, and if I say it out loud, Kai will undoubtedly lose her shit. She’s a little like Laney in that way. I’m the most ‘timid’ of our friend group, even though I’m not really, so she and my sister like to try to ‘take care of things’ for me. Like I can’t handle it myself.
