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“Thank you. It’s strange to hear that someone is concerned about me. It feels … weird.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed several times, pushing the tears down. “I do care about you.”
A heavy silence hung in the air before he spoke again. “Reach over here, River. I want to give you something.”
Even though we couldn’t see each other, I frowned. I shoved my arm through the opening, squishing my body against the iron until I touched warm skin.
“Palm up.”
I grinned. “Bossy much?” I teased.
“You have no idea.” Reid chuckled as he wrapped my fingers around a small item.
I carefully navigated my hand back into my cell and stared at the package. “Oh, my God.” I slapped my free hand over my mouth in a poor attempt to not break down sobbing.
“You don’t like it?” Worry clung to Reid’s words.
My heart ached for him—for us. “I love it. I wasn’t sure I would ever see a bar of soap again.” I leaned against the wall. “This is fucked up, Reid. I shouldn’t be crying over a hygiene product.” I sniffled and wiped the tears from my cheeks with my fingertips.
“I know. Unfortunately, you get used to it. It’s funny how the simple things mean so much. Like you thinking about me, wondering if I was okay.”
My chest tightened, a slow ache spreading through me. I walked to the sink and placed the treasured item near the faucet. “Do you have some?” I’d share if not. I could easily break it in half and give him a piece.
“Yeah. As I said, I have some benefits for taking care of a few of the guards.”
“Is that how you got mine, Reid?” Guilt elbowed me in the side. I wasn’t certain I really wanted to hear his answer.
“It’s how I get everything I need.” His voice trailed off.
“Can … can I ask you something?” At this point, there probably weren’t many topics that were forbidden, but I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries either.
“Sure.”
I sat on the edge of my bed and chewed on my thumbnail. “Do you prefer men or women?”
“Are you asking if I’m gay?” A hint of surprise weaved through his tone.
“Am I? I hadn’t meant for it to come across that way.”
“It’s okay.” Reid sighed. “I don’t have a preference. I’ve been with both since I was ten. It’s just sex.” Reid sounded exhausted and blasé about the one thing that had hurt me my entire life … until Holden. I wanted to reach through the stupid-ass bars and hug him. I wondered how much longer he would live. Would he eventually be too old for these fuckers to make money, and they would simply eliminate him? Letting him go wasn’t an option. He probably knew way too much about his clients. My body trembled with the sudden knowledge of how disposable we were.
A sharp pang stabbed me in the chest as images of Holden flickered through my mind. I never knew it was possible to miss someone so badly. “This is probably a stupid question, but have you ever been in love?”
A pregnant pause hung in the air.
“I think so.”
My face lit up with a smile. “Tell me about her.” I scooted across the mattress and leaned my back against the wall, eager to discuss a lighter topic.
“I obviously met her here. Ya know, since I don’t get out often.” His chuckle filled the cell.
My brows shot up, and I snorted. “You’re making jokes about it?” I wasn’t judging him at all. I understood that humor and laughter were necessary components of sanity, but I was surprised Reid said it.
“Yeah, and maybe it will help you as well,” Reid said.
I relaxed a little. “I don’t want to piss you off.” I chewed on a hangnail, suddenly missing my fingernail clippers.
“Don’t worry about that. I’m just glad you’re here. If you ask me something I’m not comfortable with, I’ll let you know. But River, I had to get over being shy or offended a long time ago.”
