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“Yeah?”
“Can you just talk to me?” Even through his grief, his voice was deep and soothing. Maybe he’d help me stay sane until Holden found me. I knew that Holden would never stop searching. He’d burn the world down to save me.
“Of course. It’s always hardest when you’re new. Honestly, this life gets lonely, and I’m grateful to have someone to talk to.”
Overwhelmed with compassion for him, I fought the urge to scream. “What do you look like?” I whispered through the darkness.
His low chuckle filled my ears. “Well ... I’m forced to work out twice a day, so I stay in really good shape. Clients don’t like flabby slaves, you know.”
I cringed at the word slave, still fighting to wrap my head around the fact that I would be groomed to pleasure people. I scrunched up my nose at the idea of being with a woman. Brynn was the only girl I’d even consider experimenting with, and it wasn’t a physical thing on my part. I loved her. She was my best friend. I hope she knew how I felt. I cleared the thoughts as I realized I might never see her again. Grief stabbed me over and over in the chest, and I rubbed my sternum, easing the pain.
“What else?” I needed Reid to keep talking and distract me.
“I’m six foot two, dark hair, brown eyes. I have a small scar through my left eyebrow.”
“The girls probably find it sexy.” I pursed my lips, regretting the words that had flown from my mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean …”
“It’s okay. I don’t get offended easily. Especially after growing up here.”
I picked at my fingernail, wondering if any questions were off-limits. “How old were you when they forced you to … ya know.”
Reid cleared his throat. “Ten.”
I gasped, his confession punching me in the stomach. I grabbed the bars in order not to stumble backward.
“Shit. I don’t even know how to respond other than to tell you how sorry I am.” I hung my head, my long hair cloaking my face.
“You learn to make the best of it after a while. I hear staying here to serve clients is better than being sold. I’m not sure if it’s true, but maybe you’ll end up with someone that’s not brutal.” His voice trailed off with his last word.
“Brutal?” Images of Barrett pinning me in place and choking me reared their ugly head.
“I’ve been whipped with a riding crop until my back bled, then the client and his wife raped me, using my blood as lube for anal.”
I gasped. Not only because of how Reid had been hurt but the lack of emotion in his tone. Holden wasn’t brutal. We played hard, both of us liked it a little rough, but there was never a doubt in my mind that he loved and cherished me.
I quickly found myself protective of my new friend. “Who is behind all of this?” I gritted my teeth.
“I don’t know. Whoever it is keeps their identity a secret. None of the kids could identify him.”
Kids! Oh, God. Reid had been ten when he started.
I pressed my fists against my eyes as my thoughts somersaulted. Shit. I’m pregnant. What if my baby is born into this life? I rushed to the toilet, my dinner rushing up my throat, then landing noisily in the commode.
“River, are you okay?” Reid called out.
I coughed and hurled again, my body trembling as I gripped the sides of the seat. After a minute or two, I stood on wobbly legs and made my way to the sink. I rinsed my face and mouth. “I’m here,” I croaked. “This is a lot to stomach.” I would have laughed at my pun, but there was nothing funny about the situation.
I returned to the front of my cell. “I’m fine.” I wiped my lips with the back of my hand. “Who do I need to watch out for? If I’m here, then my first order of business is figuring out how to get the hell out. Until then, how do I survive?”
“I’ve been trying to figure it out since I was ten. I’m twenty-three … I think.” Reid paused. “Anyway, the guards are who you want to appease. There are several and they rotate shifts. They don’t give a fuck what happens to us, but they do care about themselves. Make friends, fuck them when they want it, they will take care of you, I promise. Plus, it’s better to willingly have sex with them than be raped.”
“I have a boyfriend,” I whispered, guilt tying my heart into a million knots. “I wouldn’t ever cheat on him.”
“River, you’re not. You’re trying to survive in a world where you’re stripped of your dignity. Some of the clients are kind, but most aren’t. You no longer own your body, but they can’t steal your mind unless you let them. Also, learn to dissociate when possible. Find those places to visit mentally when it gets bad.” Reid’s pain weaved through his words.
I reached through the bars, wishing I could hug him.
“Barrett.” I swallowed hard, then pushed myself to talk to Reid. “He assaulted me earlier, but … he made me … I … I came.” A cry escaped me, and I slapped my hand over my mouth. Why had I just shared that with a total stranger?
