AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Fuck, I loved her spirit and how she pulled me out of my comfort zone. Holding her and feeling the warmth of her body melt into my skin was like heaven. She was strong and spicy, yet elegant and bewildering. She was never boring and kept me on my toes.
But perhaps my love for her was selfish. If I loved her, wouldn’t I have walked away by now after seeing how much pain it wasn’t just causing everyone around us but her too? Wasn’t I lying when I said I’d never hurt her? Did my love hurt her? Fuck.
No.
I wasn’t making sense. At this point, I’d rubbed my beard so many times, the next time I would have pulled some hair from my face. Jared left the lobby, and probably went back to his office. The last thing I wanted to do was step foot inside this company and tackle even more fucking problems.
Groaning, I walked straight for the elevator with my lids lowered, wishing I could close my eyes altogether and not have to face anyone. Thankfully, it seemed no one wanted to face me either, and I got to ride the elevator alone.
Finally by myself, if only for a few seconds, I rested the back of my head against the coolness of the metal box, closing my eyes and sighing. As much as I was filled with self-doubt, I couldn’t let myself think it was better to leave her alone. Because when it came down to it, neither Jared, Anthony, nor I were the ones who aired her privacy to the public, humiliating her and costing her job. We weren’t the ones who left her high and dry, weaponizing love. That was her family.
So as much as guilt was telling me that my love for her was selfish, her parents’ version of love was even worse than mine. Even if they believed the lies her father spewed, love wouldn’t shun her and discard her to save their own image. Love would support her, check up on her, take her away from us to protect her. And as much as that would’ve infuriated me, Tiffany, Jared, and Anthony, knowing our truth, I’d be okay with letting her go so she could be in the arms of a family who loved her. I’d still sue her parents for defamation, sure but at least I would’ve been able to convince myself that her family acted out of love.
But they didn’t. They chose their ego; they chose something dark and ugly. They chose rejection. My love could never abandon her, despite my own fears.
Organizations weren’t crumbling, and Chris wasn’t breaking because of me. My only error was keeping it from him… and maybe we could’ve all chosen a private location instead of the file room to keep us from being discovered. But that was an error on all our parts. Tiffany loved the idea, and we loved the idea. That didn’t justify all of this, having us lose everything.
It was Chris’ parents who were breaking him. I’d take responsibility for lying to him, but I wouldn’t take responsibility for everything else. Their parents were hurting Tiffany; I was trying my best not to. That realization should have relieved me somehow, but it didn’t. As I left the elevator, my eyes blurred with emotion, and my body felt like I’d suddenly gained eighty pounds. Today would be a long day.
Chapter 14
Anthony
“Hey,Ant.Youokay?”
Trying to dab at the tender skin on my stomach with some cold water, I spun around to face Jared.
“Fuck, man. You look like shit,” I said with an upward glance at his overall appearance.
“Yeah,” he said, running his hand through his hair and leaning up against my door frame. “Shit, that looks bad. You should probably see a doctor.”
“Yeah, I might do that,” I said, grabbing my car keys and walking past him. “Hey, lock up for me, will you?”
“What do you mean? It shouldn’t take you long at the doctor’s office, and we have to go over the lawsuit,” he asked, looking at me with panic in his eyes.
“Bro, when’s the last time you’ve been to a doctor? If the office is full, who knows when I’ll be back. Unless you don’t think this is that serious after all,” I said, playing the guilt card.
He dropped his head, sighing. “No, it looks bad. Yeah, I’ll lock up. If it’s not full though, try to get back here as soon as you can?” he said.
I nodded. The truth was that I wasn’t going to see a doctor; I deserved the pain. The ongoing burning feeling that couldn’t be eased with the cold water felt like my karma after all the pain I had caused. It was just punishment.
Instead, I would do what I did best. Get drunk and see where the rest of the day took me. Stopping at Lion’s Bar was probably a bad idea since I knew it was Chris’ favorite spot. But deep down, a part of me hoped to run into him again so he could give me another beating. Beating myself up wasn’t quite getting the job done. But luckily or unluckily for me, he hadn’t shown up. At the very least, I had the memory of the last time we were all in here together. The moment I realized I was the scum of the earth. Cheers to that.
“Let me have equal parts gin, vodka, rum, and whiskey. And keep ‘em coming. I want to be dragged out of here today,” I said to the lone bartender in the otherwise empty bar.
“Dude, it’s ten a.m.,” he said, looking all handsome and youthful.
“So?” I asked with a snarl, staring at him. He put his hands up in the air, backing away from me to make my drink.
Staring hard at him, I asked, “How old are you, man?”
“About as old as your girlfriend,” he said with a snicker.
I nodded as the need to haul his ass over the counter overcame me. But well, I deserved this, remember? The humiliation, the pain, the mockery. All of it. So, I swallowed my rage.
Fake laughing, I wagged my finger at him as he brought my drink over to me. “Clever,” I said, taking a sip. “And brave. You know if you weren’t serving me my drinks, I might have been mad, but this should obliterate all my thoughts anyway, right?” I said before downing the harsh mixture that burned my esophagus on top of the already burning sensation on my abdomen.
I winced.
