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I twirl a finger to the sky. "I hate you right now." I step to a light pole and press my rear to it. I need something to support me right now. Anything.
Laredo snickers at me. "You gave him some hard truths. Forced him to see himself from someone else's perspective. From someone he respects. And he didn't like what he saw. Which is why he's changed."
An electric shock races through my veins with the term hard truths. It's the same term Dax and I use. It means no bullshit. I love and respect you too much to blow steam up your ass.
"He needed to hear it. This way, when you tell him again how you feel about him, he'll know it's the truth."
"Again?" I scoff. "I just did, and he didn't." I wave a frustrated hand toward Adam's departure.
Laredo shuffles his feet and shares a smirk, as if he's about to let me in on a secret. "When you read the sheet music for a new song for the first time, how many times do you need to read it before you get it? Before you hear the message in the music?"
My head nod answers his rhetorical question. Sometimes, it takes a minute before you see what's right in front of you. It doesn't change a thing. "I'll shoot him an email," I joke.
Laredo steps to me and wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into a side hug. I can't believe this is the same guy from earlier in the week. "Can you do me a favor?" I ask, pressing my luck. "Can you make sure he stays in town through Sunday?"
"And why is that? I heard that last part loud and clear. You don't do second chances?"
"Shut up." I jab his side with the pointy end of my elbow. "I have no idea what comes next, but I know I need him here. It's going to be an important day. For all of us. You too."
Laredo raises his hand to cover his laugh.
"What's so funny?"
His laugh gets louder, and I look around at the empty sidewalk. "So now I'm your last-minute stand in for my brother. And you didn't even bother to ask. I'm picking up on a pattern."
I scoff at the realization. Laredo has no issues with hard truths, either. Laredo may be a wild card, but not when it comes to the big stage. He knows what the Sunday stage at Seaside means. Thousands of fans, the top industry executives, and a place for him to reclaim some of his mojo. He's right. I didn't bother to ask because I've always known his answer. "If things go well with you and the band on Sunday, would you consider joining us permanently?"
"So, are you asking me to play with you guys on Sunday?"
I did it again. I pause and give him my complete attention. "Yes. Will you?"
"What about Adam?" His question catches me off guard. Not one I'd expect from him right off the bat. "Would you still be asking if you two didn't have that blow-up? You know… the two of you are kind of a couple. I'd think you'd want to tour with your boyfriend."
I shake my head and realize I had made my decision this morning, lying in Adam's arms. A lesson Adam taught me. The greater good.
"It was going to be you, Laredo. Your musical talents fit our band better." I had tortured myself all week with the decision. Yet, lying in Adam's arms, I pulled myself from the equation. Adam has always done what's right. So, I channeled his spirit and asked myself what would Adam do? The answer was obvious as the rising sun. The light brought a clarity that wiped away the guilt.
My gaze lowers to focus on my thumb, rubbing circles in the palm of my hand. "I may have been falling in love with your brother, but when the pedal hit the metal, I had to choose what's best for the band. The choice was bigger than me, my wants, my desires."
Once the guilt was gone, I could hear what Adam had been telling me all week. The reason he didn't leap into a solo career after his family band disbanded. He was done. But I would never let that cloud my judgement of what's best for the band. The realization hit me hard this morning. It wasn't just what was best for the band, but it was what I thought Adam needed. He didn't want to be part of another band, a cog in a wheel always on the move. I had seen the joy whenever he spoke of writing songs. The excitement he could barely contain discussing lessons he couldn't wait to teach the girls at the scholarship camp next summer. Writing songs for other people. He found joy. He didn't need my band. "Adam's joy lies elsewhere. And thanks to me, probably with someone else."
Laredo crosses his arms against his chest and gives me a stare that looks right into my soul. "Everything I thought I loved about you has just been kicked up a thousand." He bows at me with a goofy grin. "You are the baddest woman I know outside of my sister. And you have to tell Adam you were always going to pick me."
I shake my head and refuse to get pulled into the competitive game of one-upmanship he plays with his brother. "Why? I've hurt him enough already."
"No!" He shakes his head as if I've misheard him. "It's the opposite. Hard truths." He lowers his voice to a whisper. "If you tell him this, he'll know you're being honest with him. That all your secrets were for the same reason. For the protection of your band. He still may not like it, but he'll respect the hell out of it. And we both know respect goes a lot further." I listen to his words, amazed that the two of them grew up in the same household. "Remember, we were in a band together once, a family band. And we would have done anything to protect it."
Hope arrives from the unlikeliest of places. The unreliable, selfish, man-whore of a twin.
"And then he'll be ready to hear what you have to say to him. And don't think of it as a second chance—think of this as a bad rehearsal. And now you're ready to step on the stage and deliver the performance of a lifetime."
"You really care about your brother?"
He snickers again. "Yeah, don't tell anybody."
I pull him into a quick hug. "I think the guys are going to like you once they get to know you. Welcome to the band."
"Still not asking, are you?"
