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“Yeah?” I feed off of her positive energy. I’ll take all of it I can get. I’m tired of feeling so beaten down. I want something to be excited about for a change.
She nods, her smile only widening, it’s contagious. “Yeah, I think we should jump.”
Are we losing it? Is she losing it? Have we bypassed the cliff and stepped off of the ledge of insanity?
“You’re serious? What if we fall?” I start to question my own decisions. What seemed so clear on the way here is suddenly becoming muddied. Nerves and fear begin to creep in.
“What if we don’t? What if we fly?” She leaps up into my arms, kissing me on the lips in front of our daughter. It seems like a strange thing to say. Astria’s a toddler. She can’t realize our relationship is different now than it was six months ago. But something about the moment feels significant.
My chest tightens, and then more of the pressure I’ve been under releases.
“I love you so damn much it hurts, Gia,” I whisper as I kiss the top of her head, unable to stop smiling.
She tilts her head back with a laugh and says, “Language, Damien. Dang. Say dang.”
“Is dang really that much better?” I smile down at her, glancing over at our daughter who is still trying to figure out if the spoon belongs in her mouth or if it’s better used as a slingshot.
“Huh, you know, come to think of it, I’ve never really considered it. You might be right. It’s not much better, is it?” She laughs harder and so do I.
We stand there, together, in the middle of the kitchen holding each other, and the moment feels so normal. I wonder if this is how most married couples make life-altering decisions? Or if we’re missing a step or something because leaping off of a cliff and diving headfirst into uncertainty shouldn’t feel this right…, should it?
Gia looks up at me, confidence shining in her eyes, “We’re going to fly.”
“We are.”
Chapter Nineteen
Damien
“Pick up the pace, Henderson, you’re slow as shit. Your reflexes are weak. Did you hear me? Weak ass motherfucker. Camden could get a shot in on you and he’s two.”
My lungs burn. I skate back and forth, covering the net as Tolar rains pucks in on me like the fucking monster he is.
“Fuck you, Tolar.” I spit through my mouth guard, gotta preserve my pearlie whites, especially when Carter has made it his apparent mission to knock one, or all, of my teeth out this morning.
He smirks arrogantly, and I can see it from all the way across the ice. “I’d rather you not. Sylvia’s a little territorial. She doesn’t like to share, and I’ve never really been into dickheads.”
I might have lost my scholarship, and my place on the team, but I didn’t lose my job. A job that’s granted me full access to use the arena to my advantage. Sure, I have to work around everyone else’s schedule, but it doesn’t matter. I have ice time, and I use it every chance I can get.
Carter was picked up by the LA Renegades despite our drop out of the playoffs. Most guys go home in the off-season. Not Carter, he’s spending his off-season here. I get the feeling Sylvia is his home, so he doesn’t much care as long as she and Camden are with him. I can respect that. Sylvia is wrapping up her business for the move, and they wanted to allow Camden as much time with his friends as they could before they had to pack up and report for pre-season conditioning.
That’s how I ended up here, in this predicament, with pucks flying at my head like missiles. We ended up practicing together by accident. I’d been coming early in the mornings, and one morning he was here, and I was no longer alone. He’s been waking up at the ass crack of dawn every morning since to torture me. He says it’s because he tries to get his ice time in before Sylvia and Camden wake up for the day, but I think he secretly likes me. He just won’t admit it.
He screams at me, and I push myself harder. “Your mom fucking skates faster, Henderson.” See, he’s a big fucking mush.
My doctor says I’m medically cleared to skate. Or, as clear as I’m going to get. I still have a few months left in my rehab program. Sure, there will always be risk there, which Gia likes to remind me of when she thinks I’m pushing myself too hard, but I’ve been working on listening to my body and learning my limitations. I’m adapting my game, and I’m getting better every day.
My heart pumps stronger. My brain reacts faster.
I practice with Carter. I get the arena cleaned and ready for the day. I go to rehab. I head back to the arena for my second shift. I practice again. Gia stops by to get shots for the social media accounts she’s building for me. I shut the arena down, and go home to my family.
Sweat drips from my face as Carter shoots the last puck. He plants his foot. It’s a slapshot, and I block it. Zero. Not a single puck made it past me this morning.
I skate from the net and start gathering up all the pucks that we’ve accumulated. Carter skates up beside me, checking me with his shoulder just hard enough to get my attention.
“What the fuck, Tolar?” I right myself and skate backward to keep an eye on him.
“Sylvia said she’s ready to head out to California.”
