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∞∞∞
“How did the meeting go?” Gia asks the minute I walk through the door.
Astria is in the kitchen attempting to feed herself. Something green covers her face, her shirt, and the floor. Maybe some of it made it into her belly. Could be peas? Could be avocado? It’s hard to tell.
Either way, the minute I step foot in the kitchen, the smile on her face gives me the perspective I need to say the words that need to be said. I don’t want to drag this out any longer than necessary.
“I’ve been released,” I sigh, setting my gear down on the floor at my feet. My shoulders feel tight and heavy with anxiety that’s been building since I left Coach’s office.
The whole way here I thought about what our next move should be. I know what I have to do, but I can’t make this decision alone. I need her to back me, and if I’m being honest, I’m scared shitless.
“For the season?” She looks up from where she’s cutting up vegetables at the counter.
“No, forever,” I answer resolutely.
She sets down the knife and runs her hands over the front of her jeans. She turns in my direction, leaning back against the kitchen cabinets and crossing her arms over her chest.
Her forehead crinkles with worry.
“What do you mean? Did you show him your release?”
“It didn’t matter. T wasn’t the only one the Board came down hard on. Rules are rules, and I’m out.” I spit the words out, but they taste bitter. They’re not any easier to say now than they were to hear.
She pushes off the counter and in two steps she’s standing in front of me. Her hands land on my chest.
With concerned eyes, Gia says, “It’s okay, right? Are you okay?” It’s not lost on me that she’s worried about me. There are so many other things for us to be worried about, but her immediate reaction is to worry for me.
“I will be.”
“You?” The word is a question, I wish she didn’t feel the need to ask.
Nothing we do is about me, anymore. It’s about us. We’re a team.
I reach up and wrap her hands in mine against my chest. “We will be. I have a plan, but I need you to trust me.”
“What about your scholarship?”
I glance up at the ceiling. I think I hate this part the most. I debate how I want to say what I know has to come next. How can I put my feelings into words and have them make sense?
“Have you ever been faced with a valley so deep that it feels like a cliff?”
“I don’t think I’m following, Damien.”
“I feel like I’m toeing the line of a massive cliff, and this valley we’re facing, it’s so deep that I can’t see the bottom. I’m scared, Gia. I want to make you proud. I need to provide for you and for our daughter. It’s a lot of pressure.” I don’t hold back.
I need her to know that I’m willing to confide in her no matter what. All of my fears and my secrets, I’ll share them with her because that’s what people do when they love each other, right? As a man, I’m expected to carry the load alone, but it’s too heavy right now. I have to trust her to take some of the weight, even if it hurts like hell to give it to her.
“I understand. But you’re not alone. You’re never alone, Damien. Do you understand what I’m saying? I see you. I see your heart. If we have nothing, it’s okay as long as we have each other. Maybe that sounds cheesy, but it’s true.” Her hands squeeze mine. Tears sting the back of my eyes.
My lungs fill with oxygen, and from those words alone the weight begins to feel lighter.
“I see you,” I exhale and regroup my thoughts. “I want to jump, Gia. I need to take a leap of faith. It’s a long shot, but if I try to stay and finish my degree, I’ll miss my window of opportunity. I need to focus on finishing my rehab, and I need to figure out a way to make it to the next level.”
“Okay, but the doctor at Chambliss said that the risk…”
“I don’t give a damn what he said. I appreciate the fact that the man saved my life. I respect his medical opinion as just that, an opinion. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands the past few weeks and in that time, I’ve done my own research. It’s possible, Gia. I can get my life back. I can make a life for us.”
She pops up on her toes, her eyes widening with excitement so suddenly that I have to take a step back, “I have an idea.” She squeals.
