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Explain what I had planned after I had my shower and some sleep.
However, after five minutes of my knocking and not hearing movement inside, I pulled my cell out, went to favorites, and called her.
And it didn’t go directly to voicemail.
No. It rang twice, then went to voicemail.
My shoulders dropped.
Because that meant one thing and one thing only.
She had seen my call, and fucking declined it.
That night with my head in my hands, I sighed.
I’d fucked up.
That was when the chair beside me moved, and then I watched as Lena sat down in it and smiled softly, “I know she’s not talking to you. And I’ve tried talking to her about it. But she’s a stubborn one, which you well know.”
I nodded, “Yeah, she’s stubborn alright. But I adore that about her. Any advice on getting her to talk to me?”
She sighed then, “Honestly, if what happened in your shower was the only mark against you, I’d almost guarantee to give her another day, and then show up and stick to her like glue. But… you really hurt her by not replying to anything she sent you. Hurt doesn’t even cover it. She became more depressed as time went on.”
Those words hurt, but I didn’t realize how much her next words would, “We both understood to some degree. I don’t because I don’t know what it is you do exactly, but I know she has a little more understanding of that. But… Well, what really hurt her was that one of the men from your team emailed her letting her know that y’all were safe. She didn’t understand how he could take the time to let her know that, but you couldn’t.”
“And the situation isn’t helped because while you were gone Summer was running her mouth and saying that she was going to be yours. She was doing it to rile up Raine. Raine was holding her own. Until…” She stopped speaking.
I finished her statement, “Until she walked in and saw something that never should have fucking happened.”
She was silent for a beat, shook her head, and then said, “Yeah, no. I’m not going to wait for Raine to tell me. My curiosity is killing me, so what really happened in the shower.”
Knowing that I might be able to enlist Lena’s help in getting Raine to talk to me, I told her what happened in the shower. All of it.
But what I left out were the events that took place that had me in that head space. I only told Storm because he was her father and my Pres. But the only person I truly trusted with that information, was Raine.
Lena sighed and nodded, “I figured it had to be something of that nature. I think, if it would’ve been another girl and not Summer, she wouldn’t be hurting as bad. Well… I don’t know. I’m not going to betray her confidence though. So, you need to think about where the two of you go from here.”
Before I could open my mouth and lay out my plans, she spoke again.
“If you can’t give her all of you, trust in her to know she will have your back, then you need to let her go.”
And that single statement sparked a whole other can of worms we needed to talk about.
It wasn’t the words that were a slap in the face, it was the fact that my mistrust of her, had lost me my best friend.
The person I thought I told everything to.
The person I thought knew me better than anyone else ever had, or for that matter ever will.
But it wasn’t her fault.
Not at fucking all.
I realized that I had been the one to break us.
Not telling her when I was leaving or returning. But only telling Storm.
Her text messages of Are you whole once a month, stay unread in my inbox.
