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Jessica took a deep breath. There was no way Matt would understand her concerns, but she had to let this out from inside her. She had to let this weight off her chest.
“I will not have sex with you,” she burst out after a moment.
“You… wo- umm, what?” Matt’s face was a mixture between confusion and nervous laughter.
He stammered for a bit. “What do you mean? I mean… I – well, I didn’t ask that of you. I mean not yet, I… well, we don’t have to think about that now. Maybe someday but not, uh…” he closed his mouth, opened it, and closed it again, then a slight amusement sparkled in his eyes before he asked, “Like, never?”
Jessica felt the blood rush into her face. She felt even more flustered than Matt was just now. She had not imagined this conversation going this way at all. She was starting to feel embarrassed now.
“I don’t mean never… I mean, I won’t have sex with you unless I want to. I know we’re married and all, and that you saved me from a life of imprisonment by offering to be my husband, for which I am grateful —I really am, but that doesn’t mean you own me sexually or that you own me at all,” she finished and took a long breath and slowly looked up at Matt. He looked utterly taken aback for a whole minute.
There. I have disappointed him. What was I thinking going on about this in here? What if I made him angry or something? What if he decides he’s been giving me way too much space and comes to claim his marital duties? Oh my God, what if tonight he-
“Jessica, relax. I won’t touch you unless you want me to. Why would you even let something like this trouble you so much? Do you think of me as a monster who would force myself on you? When have I given you that impression?”
Jessica didn’t know what to say. She had let her mind run away with imaginations and assumptions about Matt, without stopping to talk to him about it. She felt a little bad for jumping to conclusions about him. The look in Matt’s eyes said he was a little let down at her assumptions as well. Though she felt a little guilty, she felt deeply relieved and reassured. She reached out and took Matt’s hand, which he let her do without pulling away.
“Okay. Thank you, and I’m sorry. I am too stressed about this whole thing it seems,” she said in an apologetic voice.
Matt’s face melted. He sighed and held her hand tighter, then didn’t say anything. The limo drove on, and they sat there together, holding hands and not speaking a word for the rest of the way. It was unexpectedly sweet, and Jessica was surprised that she liked it. She let herself smile a little. She couldn’t help herself because she felt so relieved.
Sometime later, the limo came to a stop, and Mateo’s face appeared on the little sliding glass that connected his chamber to the back of the car.
“Sir, we have arrived at our destination,” he said and disappeared from the window. A moment later, the door was opened from outside, and the sudden sunlight that poured into the dark interior made Jessica momentarily blind. Matt got out of the limo and escorted her outside. She stood up and stretched a little from the long journey and used her hands to shade her eyes from blinding sunlight. As her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, she found herself in front of a huge mansion that stood tall ahead and blocked the sun. She stared at it, gaping again, and this time, not even bothering to hide it from Matt. He looked at her expression and chuckled, then took her hand again.
“Come, dear wife. Welcome to my family home.”
27
“Your family home?” Jessica couldn’t hide her gasp. She took the whole estate in slowly. It was a vast land upon which the mansion was built in the center. It stood tall and proud and seemed to be very old, probably built many generations ago, yet it wasn’t old and shabby but vintage and classy. There were so many things to take in. There were what seemed to be orchards at the back, gardens, ponds, and benches. It really did look like something out of a noble estate from the historical romance books Jessica liked to read sometimes. She felt excited and intimidated at the same time.
This was his family home… It looks like a castle. So large, and I can’t even process all the things surrounding it. I can only imagine what it will be inside.
She walked with Matt towards the main gate. There were a few stairs in the front of the mansion, which led to a grand entrance. The gate was very high with intricate designs. Suddenly, it hit her that this was the first time she would officially be introduced to his parents. They couldn’t be present at the hastily arranged wedding. Only Matt’s sister, Annabeth, was there as his family member. Other than that, there were just friends and staff who could attend on such short notice. Though Jessica told herself she didn’t care about such formalities too much, she couldn’t help but feel nervous at the thought of meeting her in-laws for the first time.
What if I mess up? What if I say something that I should not or let my nervousness turn me into a jittery clumsy mess? That would be so embarrassing. I need to stay calm. Breathe, Jessica, breathe.
Jessica took a few deep breaths by the time it took for them to walk over to the main gate from the stairs. There were servants in well-pressed uniforms standing in a flawless formation in front of the main entrance. As they reached the gate, they bowed and greeted them. One elderly man in a black tailcoat and suit came forward and greeted them. He had white gloves on, and, over one eye, she saw a round frame with a chain. He looked like someone from an English period drama.
“Good morning. Mr. and Mrs. Miller. It is a pleasure to see you again, young master,” he said, his deep sunken kind eyes looking at Matt with a warmness that told Jessica he must have known Matt from his childhood. At the thought of Matt as a young boy, an unknown feeling of flutter resounded in her stomach.
“Reynolds! It has been ages since I last saw you! You’re still just the same as I remember,” Matt said with a wide smile. He seemed genuinely happy to see the man, then turned his attention to Jessica.
“This is my wife, Jessica,” he said, presenting her. She instantly felt shy and didn’t know what to do.
Do I bow? Do a little curtsey? No, that is so 19th-century…but he’s got a freaking butler.
Jessica ended up giving him a polite nod, and the butler smiled at her.
“I am Reynolds, the head butler. I welcome you to the humble Miller residence, Mrs. Miller,” he said with another bow.
“Oh, please, call her Jessica already. Now, enough with the formalities. Where is Mother?” Matt asked, walking inside.
“The mistress just went upstairs only a moment ago. She has been restless, waiting for your arrival. I haven’t seen her this excited in quite a long time.”
At the word “mistress,” Jessica became even more nervous. She couldn’t understand why making a good impression on Matt’s family mattered so much to her, but suddenly, it did. She wanted them to like her, to think of her as a good choice for their son’s partner, even if their marriage was not the traditional one. She didn’t know what she would feel if her in-laws didn’t approve of her.
When did I become so invested in this? I sure as hell wasn’t thinking these thoughts before marrying Spencer. In fact, his family didn’t even approve of me. They didn’t like me was an understatement, but it felt like they couldn’t see us together.
