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He pauses and then says, “That is unless you’re willing to come back to me.”
Instantly I shake my head, shoving at his chest. “Eeen,” I make a buzzer sound. “Sorry. You lost that round.” I shove at him again, but the fucker just won’t budge. “It’s too late for that. Move.”
“No, Layla, it’s not. We were together for years. I got… I don’t know. Overwhelmed. It was supposed to be a break, not a breakup.”
I laugh caustically. “No, that’s not what you wanted, and we both know it. You wanted to fuck Molly and you did that. Only you don’t get to call a break, fuck someone else, and then expect me to be there waiting when you decide you’re ready for round two with me. So go be with Molly. I’m done with you.”
“You mean now that you’re fucking your professor.”
My heart stops, my partially digested egg sandwich and coffee churning in my gut. “What?”
“I saw the way he was looking at you that morning. He told me to fuck off. What professor does that? You’re obviously fucking him.”
I blow out a silent, relieved breath. Because if anyone could throw a wrench into this fake engagement, it’s Patrick. By some miracle, he didn’t see me get out of Callan’s car, but damn, how close of a call is that?
I give him a bored, unimpressed look even though my insides are rioting. Folding my arms over my chest, I try and create some space between us. “Ah. Now I get it. You don’t want me. You just don’t want me fucking anyone else.” Such a rotten bastard. I roll my eyes as if his accusation has no merit. “I’m not fucking my professor, dipshit. I’m not that stupid.”Anymore. “Dr. Barrows works with Oliver, and he was being protective of me for him. Something you wouldn’t know about. But if I decided to fuck every man and woman in this building, that would be my call to make, and you’d have no say in it.” I redirect him away from Callan. “Why are you here? You could have told me about Molly over a text or better yet, not at all.”
“I wanted to see you. I wanted to see your reaction when I told you. I wanted to see your face when I challenged you on your professor.” He blows out an uneven breath, his posture crumpling in as his voice softens. “I wanted to see if you still want me the way I want you.”
“You thought that rubbing it in my face that you’re going to be with Molly would make me get emotional and beg for you to take me back?” I laugh. It’s bitter. “Do you even know me?” The question hits the air, and I realize he doesn’t. Maybe he never did. “Did you honestly think that would ever be an option after what you did? Hell, after what you’re doing now?” I’m incredulous. And sick. I stab my finger into his chest as hard as I can as I breathe fire at him. “I’m over you. It didn’t even take very long to happen. Now fuck the fuck off.”
I was with him for two and a half years and though I initially fought off falling for him, once we both got into the same med school, I was game on, all-in. When he ended it, I thought my heart was going to die in my chest and then he dug the knife in deeper. And here he is, trying to hurt me yet again. I wasted so much time with him and he wasn’t even half as good to me as Callan has been, and Callan isn’t even my boyfriend.
Which would rattle me further if I allowed those thoughts to penetrate, but since I am the condom, they don’t. This is the exact reason I have to be that fucking condom.
Patrick presses in on me, smirking arrogantly, but it isn’t hitting his eyes. “You’re not over me. You’re just angry about Molly.”
I return his arrogant smirk with one of my own. “Honestly, no. You fucked up a great thing when you let me go. That’s on you. Girls like me don’t have to give second chances. Especially not to douchebag assholes who get off on playing mind games. Bye, Patrick.”
I duck under his arm and head for the door, making sure my back is to him as I enter the building. Making sure he gets the message once and for all.
I’m done with him.
Only the moment the heavy door shuts behind me, I scramble over to the side, hiding in an alcove. I cover my pounding heart with my hand, trying to slow both it and my breathing down. I hope this was the final act and now he’ll be done with me. I hope he and Molly go off into the sunset and make each other miserable as hell.
For a moment, I debate texting Callan, but what would I say to him? Patrick didn’t see us in Callan’s car, and I pushed Patrick off the notion that I’m fucking Callan. Which isn’t a lie because I’m not. Callan and I just have to be more careful with this fake relationship.
And I have to be more careful with myself.
That was my pledge in all this. It’s as simple and as real as that. Seeing Patrick was the perfect reminder.
I don’t want to get hurt again, and if I don’t put myself out there emotionally, I won’t.
From here on out, this is how it’s going to be. My relationship with Callan is fake. That means I won’t misread words or touches or any bullshit. I won’t straddle any lines—or his dick. No more rides to school. No more breath-stealing looks. No more sexy-after-shower naked flirting.
No more flirting in general.
Or sweet words about how wonderful he thinks I am. Would it be weird if I ask him to be a dick to me instead? Or would him being a dick make me want him more because then it would be a challenge?
Argh. What is wrong with me?
This isn’t who I am. I do not go all cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over a guy. Attraction and lust aren’t love. He’s grateful I’m there, but we both have an end goal in this game and it’s not each other.
School. This is what’s important to me. This is my priority. Just as Katy is his priority.
Determination lighting a fire within me, I start to march off toward class when my phone buzzes in my bag.
C: Did you make it in okay? You’re usually one of the first people here.
