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“And let the casserole get cold?” He clutched a hand to his chest in mock horror even as he scrambled off my lap to allow me to wheel toward the couch.
“You don’t have to take me anywhere, Cal.” I flopped onto the chaise portion of the couch and motioned for him to join me. “Just keep coming home to me. That’s all I need.”
“Too bad.” Cupping my face in his hands, he gave me a sound kiss. “I want to give you the whole damn world. And since I can’t do that, I can at least give you back diving. We’ll do it safely. With experienced operators. Add more pictures to your bedroom walls.”
“But you dive alone.” I wasn’t convinced that his accepting the buddy diver on the rescue mission was anything other than a one-time exception.
“Turns out I don’t. Or at least not well.” He glanced down at his forearm and the naval tattoo there. “I’m better with a team. I want to be on your team, Holden. But you have to let me in. This can’t be all you helping me. You’ve got to let me be a part of your team too.”
“You want to start grading papers?” I cracked, only to earn myself a swift elbow in my ribs, light but effective.
“Sorry. Bad timing.” I made my tone suitably apologetic. “I’ll try…I will.” I smiled because I already knew Cal’s opinions on the word try. “I’ll let you help. You’re not the only one struggling with trust here.”
“I know. But you’re going to have to trust me. Trust that I want to return. That I want to be a real partner to you. That I want to see your good days and your not-so-good days. Trust that I love you.” He looked deep into my eyes, gaze brimming with so many emotions that my stomach clenched hard and my arm tightened around Cal.
There was truly only one possible answer. “Show me.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Cal
“Gladly.” Smiling, I swung a leg over Holden to straddle him. Showing him how I felt was far, far easier than finding the right words. Usually, even if I started a kiss, Holden took ownership of it quickly, but this time, he seemed content to follow wherever I wanted to go.
Which was everywhere.
Holden said he wanted everything, all the tangible and intangible benefits of a partnership. He held me like that as well, loose but firm, hands roving up and down my bare back muscles. And I wanted everything too, but I also wanted to go, to travel, to explore, to visit all the places Holden had dreamed of returning to, places neither of us had been. I wanted to uncover new vistas on his body, his soul, carve my name into his heart until everywhere he went, I went too.
I kissed him as if I could tattoo my initials on him through sheer force of will. Mine, mine, mine. Or rather, Cal was here. And here. And here too. I wanted to ruin him for anyone who might come after, wanted every kiss to remind him of this one, the one where I said I loved him, the one where we both went all in.
My heart clattered like I’d leaped off the high dive, water rushing up alarmingly fast, but for the first time, I had a hand to hold on to. I’d told him I was terrified, and I was, but somehow it was way more bearable knowing he was in this too. Desperate for the connection, I linked our left hands together, holding him as tightly as he held me.
Of course I love you. His words rang in my ears, infusing my kiss with new meaning and purpose as I delved deep into Holden’s mouth. My arm hair prickled as he sucked on my tongue, pleasure zooming to every cold and lonely spot the hot shower hadn’t managed to reach.
But Holden had.
Warmed me up right through my core. Held me close with a firm hand on my ass.
“Cal.” There it was, the moment he groaned my name and took over the kiss, lips rewarding my patience with the possessiveness that never failed to make my toes curl. I’d been dead set against being claimed, but then I’d experienced my first Holden Justice kiss, and I’d put my heart right up on the auction block, his for the taking.
Own me. I went pliant in his arms, releasing my usual iron grip on my strength. With Holden, I didn’t have to be Cal, the SEAL. I could simply be Cal, the man. I let him have his way with my mouth as I started a slow grind, trying to find relief for my aching cock. However, Holden was warm and hard and subtly rocking up to meet me, and all I could do was get harder and moan louder.
