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There’s a long pause before she finally speaks again. “I think it’s best I come out. Wait for me there.”
I oblige and find myself spending the next few minutes alone in my car, memories of my siblings and mom haunting me again. I try to focus on something else, but all I can think of is their screams as their bodies succumb to the explosion. In a jump, I exit the car to stretch my legs and breathe some fresh air.
Why is Julia taking so damn long?
As I stand by the car, my eyes on the gates, I let my thoughts go to her and the time we spent together. She is someone precious, someone so special that I know on a cellular level that I’m not good enough for her…but I’m also not strong enough to let her go, not when she’s all but begging to be here for me during the worst days of my life. Julia is a bright light. And right now, I feel like I'm drowning in darkness.
Finally, the small door beside the gates open with a creak and Julia emerges, the street light giving me a clear view of her silhouette. She looks so lovely in her silk robe wrapped around her body, hair spilling loose over her shoulders, still damp from the shower. As she gets close enough to me, I reach out and pull her into a hug, and it takes everything in me not to break down. I desperately want to tell her everything; about my father’s condition, about how I’m taking over the family business, how I’m struggling to keep up with everything, and how the thought of her is the only relief I get from it all. But as I look her in the eye, I don’t say any of it…it isn’t fair to her. I know Julia would listen to my words with an open mind and heart, but she’s still so damned young, and the severity of the things I’m going through right now are probably too crazy for her to really process. Even now, I find myself wanting to protect her in every way possible.
It doesn’t take her long to pick up on my silence, though. “What’s going on?” she asks, searching for an answer in my gaze.
I open my mouth to speak, but close it as I take in our surroundings. Staying here outside in the streets isn’t the best place to have such an important discussion, so instead I invite her inside the car.
Julia gets in and sits beside me, her body turned towards mine, and gives me a few more seconds to gather my thoughts.
“Seb, what’s going on?” she asks again, this time reaching over to take my hand in hers.
My attention turns to her wide-open eyes and I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words.
“Nothing. Everything,” I utter, my voice barely above a whisper.
She gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “What happened?”
“I can’t tell you everything yet, Julia, but having you here is helping.”
Her smile is soft, but turns regretful. “I’m here for you, Seb, but I only have a few minutes. I wish you would have called earlier…”
I wish the same, but every minute of my day has been occupied with terrible, stressful things, and this is the first second I’ve even had to escape and see her. Julia runs her small thumb over my knuckles, and that’s when I decide to take a chance and ask her the question that has been on my mind for a while now.
Looking at her beautiful face, I ask, “Do you like me, Julia?”
Her eyes widen in surprise at my query. “Hm? What do you mean?”
I clear my throat and repeat my question. “Like do you enjoy my company despite our age gap?”
She chuckles at the odd question, but after a moment of hesitation, she answers. “I do, yes. Very much so.” And then she turns the tables on me. “And you?”
I feel a weight lifting off my chest as I say, “I…I do too. But…” my tone turns serious, dissipating the sweetness of the moment. “My dad isn’t too happy about it.”
Julia chuckles again, and the sound unwinds even more of my tension. “Well, if that makes you feel any better, my dad has no idea of your existence, so we’re zero for two on the dad front.”
I knew Lord Hendrik and Lady Margaret were no longer together, but what’s surprising, though, is that Hendrik wouldn’t stay in contact with his bright, lovely oldest daughter. “Don’t you ever call him?”
Julia waves her hand dismissively. “Sometimes, but Mom would be quite furious if she knew I was talking to him. Better to not complicate things by bringing you into the conversation, as well.”
“Speaking of your mother…” I continue, this time more carefully. “Does she know about us? I mean, does she know we’re more than friends?”
Julia cocks her head to the side, worry creeping in. “To a certain extent…” she says, her voice trailing off. She then chews her bottom lip, fiddling with the controls for the heated seats of the car, clearly hoping I won’t press the issue.
The scent of her shampoo and the warmth of her presence fills the cabin of the car, and I consider pursuing more enjoyable things with her, but I need to know more about Margaret. I reach out for her hand, shifting her focus back on me. “What does she know, exactly?”
“That you mean a lot to me,” she announces, her eyes meeting mine finally. “Much to her chagrin, I assure you.”
I can’t believe it. Margaret Van Dieren is aware of our blossoming relationship? Nothing that Julia could have said would have surprised me more than this fact. “I assume she already hates me, then.”
“You assume correctly,” Julia says, but then she leans across the center console until she is invading my space. The proximity makes me uneasy in the most pleasurable of ways, but her next words make my heart race. “But that doesn’t mean I give a damn about it.”
Our eyes meet, and the temptation to kiss her is strong. So fucking strong. It’d be all too easy to close the distance between us and feel the softness of her lips yielding under mine, but I resist. I reach up to stroke her cheek instead, allowing myself the pleasure of her silky skin beneath my fingers. “I want to meet your parents before going any further.”
