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A heavy sigh escapes his lips, carrying the weight of his confession. “You know, after being with the same person for so long, sometimes you find yourself longing for something new,” he starts, his confession full of embarrassed remorse.
The words hit me like a blow, the reality of his infidelity crashing down upon me. Shock and anger mingle within me, fueling the fire of my disappointment.
“So you had an affair?” I exclaim incredulously. The things he’s saying are like electricity jolting through me. “Why am I not surprised by that? It seems like every man your age has zero respect for the sanctity of their marriages.”
“It was during a business trip, a few nights at most,” my father confesses, his gaze dropping to the floor. “But...she came to Amsterdam once she found out she was... well…” He trails off, alluding to the consequences of his actions—the child conceived in the wake of his betrayal.
I can feel the rage bubbling within me, threatening to consume my senses. I rise from my seat, unable to contain the tumultuous emotions coursing through my veins. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” I shout, my voice echoing through the room. “The fact that you had an affair, I could look past that. But that you were too careless to protect the family from its consequences? Fuck!Youare the disappointment here, Dad. Not me.”
The weight of his admission settles upon us, casting a shadow over everything. My father pleads for my attention, desperation in his tone. “Sebastian, please just listen!”
I’m consumed by a whirlwind of anger and betrayal as I pace around the room. “Everyone knew it but me, the fool who broke up with the woman I love because I thought it was about your health.”
“Do you not see that the stress of you being with that girl really was a detriment to my health?” He insists. “If it makes you feel any better, the child never knew that I was his father.”
For some reason, that fact makes me feel even worse. “Oh, so you had an affair and then lied to everyone, including your child, about it? No, Dad, that doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“I did it for a reason! Like you said, to protect our family, Seb. It cost me, but his mom never told him. I made sure she wouldn’t speak. We have an arrangement.” The longer he speaks the more remorse I can hear in his words. It doesn’t make me feel guilty for confronting him, but a part of me aches for how long my father, this man that I love and have looked up to, carried this burden for so long. Even if it was his fault.
Letting go of my anger isn’t an option, though. If my father paid off this child’s mother, what will happen once he is no longer a part of this world? “I hope your arrangement still stands, because I’m telling you right now that bastard isn’t going to inherit one penny from us! None!”
“Seb, I'm so sorry…” he murmurs, his posture defeated.
The apology, though sincere, does little to ease the pain that thrums within me. The shattered illusions of family loyalty and devotion lie in ruins around us. My world feels torn apart, the fractures in our relationship too deep to mend.
“So Margaret knows who the bastard is and threatened you to tell me if I don’t break up?” I inquire, resigned to the fact that my dad has lied to me for the majority of my life. The reality that I have an illegitimate brother is settling into my bones, and becoming a truth I can’t even try to deny. So, okay, my father has a bastard…now I have to find out who else knows our shame?
“She does,” he confirms, his voice barely above a whisper. “But that’s not everything you need to know…”
Tipping back my scotch glass and taking a heavy drink, I let the burn dissipate in my throat before croaking, “Tell me.”
Dad shifts uncomfortably in his seat, but to his credit, he continues with the ugly truths. “She also wants to tell your brother the truth, and that would give him a claim to the family asset.”
At first, what he’s saying makes my pulse in my ears the only thing I can hear. I’m not just mad. Mad barely even scratches the surface of what I’m feeling. Swearing under my breath, I clench my fists in frustration. The consequences of my father’s actions threaten to ruin our family legacy and split our hard-won fortune into pieces.
“Fuck!” I blurt out, standing and pacing, my head in my hands. “This is afucking disaster, Dad! How the hell does Margaret Van Dieren know all of this?”
“I have no idea, Seb. She’s crafted a reputation that makes almost everyone afraid of the things she knows, and I guess I am no exception.” With a groan, he leans forward. “It doesn’t matter where she got the information from, in the long run. All that matters is that she has no issue shouting it from the rooftops if we don’t do as she asks.”
“Great. Just great. I guess now, on top of everything else, I have to step up and do a bunch of damage control too.” I scoff. I can feel the heat of the scotch in my stomach burning, softening the edges of my rage, but by no means washing it away fully. “Finish your drink and smoke, Dad, if that’s what you want to do. I need to get the hell out of here.”
“Wait, Sebastian,” Dad’s plea stops me in the doorway of the library. “Don't you want to know who your brother is? Aren’t you even a little bit curious?”
The question hangs in the air, a tempting offer cut through with uncertainty. But as the alcohol and the sting of all his lies course through my veins, I am firm in my response. “Me? No, Dad. Not at all.” Turning to face him again, I continue, biting out the words. “The only brother I’ve ever had is Freddie, who died. That’s all. Never ever call that bastard my brother again. Are we clear?”
There is a long, tense silence that follows, our eyes locked in a battle of wills. The truth may have been laid bare, but the wounds run deep.
“Seb–” Dad begs, but I cut my hand through the air to cut him off.
“I said that I don’t want to know who the fucker is. Are we clear?”
He looks haunted, and unlike the man I’ve known all my life. The father I knew would have never begged for anything, and certainly wouldn’t have had the sheen of tears in his eyes that I can see now. The bond that once held us together now feels fragile, teetering on the edge of collapse. I turn away, my resolve solidifying with each step, leaving behind both my father and the man I was before I walked into that room earlier in the night. I will never be the same again.
My feet move as if they know exactly where I need to go without my brain even being involved. One thought consumes me–-who am I? I don’t even know anymore. An hour ago, I was a man with one dead brother. Now, that is still true, but there is also a man out there that is technically my half-brother, even if I refuse to claim him. I was the heir to the Van den Bosch fortune and company, but now there’s the fear that this half-brother could take half of that from me if he wanted to. I was a devoted son, doing anything and everything I possibly could for my father’s health, but the entire time he was lying to me. So instead of that devoted son, I just feel like a fool.
I have to get some air…some distance from home.
Legs carry me to the garage, where I choose my fastest car and exhale in relief when my hands close around the firm leather steering wheel. This. This, at least, is familiar and true. There are no possible lies between the car and I. Just truth, power, and speed.
