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She looks slightly miffed, but repeats herself. “Will you join me for tea in the library, Julia?”
The word ‘no’ is right there on my lips, but I’ve already shut her down about brunch at the Van Lawicks tomorrow, so I guess the least I can do is have some tea with her before bed. Part of me is screaming that it’s a trap, but on the other hand, this is my mother. I can’t avoid her for the rest of my life, and maybe if I give her this little tea time she will leave me be for the rest of the weekend. And if that’s true, it’s totally worth it.
I nod, agreeing to it. I settle into one of the high-backed chairs once we make it to the library, watching as one of the house staff pours the steaming water into our individual cups and adds just the right amount of cream and sugar for me before departing and leaving us alone. Mom, as usual, takes no sweetener.
There is a long few minutes of quiet between us, only the sound of the silver spoon on the ceramic cups filling the high-ceilinged room. Eventually, Mom sighs airily. “Listen, my dear, I’m sure you know that I’m aware of the little breakup between you and Sebastian. I won’t disrespect you by lying and saying that it doesn’t make me happy to know it, but I know you’re feeling down about it, and that I am sorry for.”
I can feel my hands starting to shake a bit, clutching my tea cup tighter and feeling the heat bleeding through to my palms. Why does this have to be the first thing we talk about? Why do we have to talk about it at all?
“Mom…I’m not an idiot. I’m sure that you had some hand in this. But I still don’t want to get into it. Can we not?”
She exhales through her nose, amused. “What choice do we have with you moping all around the estate about it? Your sisters don’t need to see you so beaten down by the rejection of some man.”
“He’s not just some man,” I snap, setting the cup down on the side table before it splashes over the rim and burns my lap. “He meant something to me, Mom. He still means something to me.”
“Well, regardless of whatever feelings you’re still hanging on to, I appreciate Sebastian coming to terms with this nonsense,” she says, before gracefully taking a sip of her tea. “It might be the first smart thing that man has done in his entire life. And while I’m saddened to see you like this, I think you’ll understand one day that I did it to protect you.”
I scoff, annoyance making my head pound. “Protect me? From what?”
She takes a long drink, the orange light coming from the flames in the fireplace casting her face in sharp angles. “Julia, if he’s anything like his father, you’re better off without him.”
I feel a jolt of anger surge through me. “What are you talking about?”
She chuckles, like she’s enjoying a private joke. “Do you think that only your father had affairs? Let me tell you a secret, my love…his best buddy did too.”
I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say. So she’s confirming, here and now, that his father had an affair? I feel like everything I thought I knew about the Van den Bosch family is a lie…and then there is the fact that my father’s best friend just so happened to be…
Sebastian’s own damn father.
The world feels like it’s tilting around me. “Does Sebastian know?” I ask, feeling a knot form in my stomach.
“I don’t think so,” Mom says, shrugging one thin shoulder as she finishes her tea. “But if he’s like his dad, then he’s not a man you should ever consider being serious with.”
Closing my eyes to try and find my equilibrium, I speak slowly, not wanting to say the wrong thing when she’s giving me so much groundbreaking information. “Does Sebastian also have a… well, you know…” I trail off, not wanting to say the word.
“Abastardin the family?” Mom asks, with a raised eyebrow and zero hesitation. “I’m afraid I can’t disclose that.”
She’s being absolutely ridiculous. Mom can tell me about everyone’s affairs and hint at a love child out there somewhere, but she won’t take this final step and tell me whether that potential child exists or not? “Mom! Please! Seb needs to know about it!” I practically plead with her.
“Julia, enough!” my mother bites out the words. “It’s none of your business. This is up to his dad to disclose such a private matter. If his father decides to do it, then that’s their business.”
I stare at my mother, incredulous. How could she keep such a big secret from Sebastian? And from me, for that matter? I can’t believe what I’m hearing. How can she live with herself, knowing something like this but keeping it quiet? She knows how close Sebastian and I have been, breakup or not, and it’s utterly unfair to tease me with truths like this.
But even if she does tell me…do I tell Sebastian? I know that if I were in his position, I would want to know. But it’s clear that my mother is not going to budge on this. Picking up my now-lukewarm drink, I finish my tea in silence, feeling frustrated and powerless. Once we are done, I stand up, pondering what other secrets my mother might be keeping from me.
“Well, this was certainly enlightening,” Mom says after a moment, standing and straightening her pants. She walks gracefully over to me and leans down, kissing me on the top of the head and making me stiffen from surprise. “Truly, daughter, all things I do is for the love of my children. You may find me and my actions distasteful right now, but when you have children of your own–-with an appropriate husband, that is-–you’ll understand. And maybe then you can forgive me.”
My mouth is hanging open as she leaves the library, and I’m left alone with my thoughts. Instead of leaving back to my room, the silence and coziness this study offers makes me sit back and tuck my legs underneath me, curling up in the chair as I take in the comfort of the firelight while I try to put everything together in my mind. The pieces of the puzzle are finally falling into place, and it’s like a wave of realization has hit me. All this time, I had been so angry and confused about Sebastian’s sudden change of heart, but now it all makes sense. Mom must have threatened Sebastian’s dad with this secret, and he had no choice but to convince Sebastian to end things with me!
I can’t keep this to myself. I need to talk to someone, and there’s only one person in this house right now that I trust.
My heart is pounding as I burst into Alex’s room, finding him getting ready to go out. He looks shocked, his hands frozen on the buttons of his shirt, and had I been less hysterical I might have been embarrassed for interrupting him in his own room like this. But I can’t hold all of this new information inside.
While he is still looking at me with wide eyes, I waste no time in asking him the question burning on my lips, “Did you know Sebastian’s father has a bastard?” The words tumble out of me in a rush, and I can hardly believe what I'm saying.
Alex blinks a few times in shock, mirroring my own feelings. “What? How do you even know that?” he asks me, eyes wide with disbelief.
“Mom just said it. Although she didn't say yes directly,” I reply, my mind already working through the possibilities. “She danced around confirming it the entire time, like she was doing her damndest to make me believe it without outright saying so.”
