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I reach out, placing my hand on his arm, offering him a small measure of comfort in our shared understanding. “That’s not possible, Pops. I’m always going to worry about you. Until you start taking better care of yourself, that is.”
“Hmm. I appreciate it, son, but I don’t need a babysitter, either.” He cups a wilted bloom in his hands, positioning the shears and clipping it off in a flash.
His response annoys me somewhat. Does he not understand how hard it was for me to sit there with him after his heart attack, wondering if he was going to make it or not? “Dad–”
“Did you take care of the relationship?” my father asks, his attention focused on the flowers.
My mouth snaps shut on whatever I’m about to say, his question immediately putting me on edge. “I did. It’s over,” I reply, feeling a twinge of regret in my heart.
My father nods, a small smile appearing on his face. “Good,” he utters, turning to me. “You will find someone, don’t worry, son.”
His words are meant to comfort me, but they only serve to remind me of the pain I feel. I wonder if I’ll ever find someone who truly understands me, someone who will love me for who I am and not for my family’s wealth. Someone who can possibly compare to Julia…makes me feel like only she ever has.
Without responding, I shove my hands into my pockets and I watch my father tend to the roses. In a strange way, they are like a symbol of the life that I'm expected to lead. A life of duty and tradition. Growing only in the way my father finds appropriate, never free to flourish as I wish. But as I look closer, I notice that the roses are not as beautiful as they once were. Maybe they aren’t so much like me, but more like the man clipping them. They are withered and weak, just like my father.
I wonder if my father is tending to them out of love, or out of guilt for not being able to keep my mother alive and not loving her the right way when she was here. And I wonder if my own obligations will lead me down the same path, a life of emptiness and regret.
But for now, I push those thoughts aside and help my father tend to the garden. It’s a small gesture, but it’s a way to connect with him, to show him that I care, even if it breaks my heart to see what he’s become these days. Losing my mom did this to him, and it makes me question if love and marriage are even worth it, if losing your partner can turn someone into a walking zombie.
23
Julia
It’sFriday afternoon and I'm in the car with Alex, heading back to the family estate for the weekend. My heart feels heavy as I think about Sebastian, and I’m still having issues accepting that things are really over. Deep inside, I’m positive even now that he’s my soulmate, but how is someone supposed to just get over something like that? It’s impossible. Maybe I’ll be grieving him forever.
I try to hide my sadness from Alex, responding when he talks to me and trying to joke around, but he can tell that something is off. Damn sibling connection. “Still thinking about Seb, huh?” he asks, his voice teasing.
I sigh, unable to deny the truth. “Yeah, I guess I am. It’s just hard, you know? I really thought we had something special.”
My brother keeps his eyes on the road, but I can see him raise an eyebrow. “Just special? Or something more?”
I hate how well he can read me, and my stomach sinks at his words. “Does it matter? Even if it was something more, he doesn’t want it, so it doesn’t matter.”
Alex chuckles, refusing to be brought down to my melancholic level. “He must have done some serious witchcraft to have you so smitten.”
I roll my eyes, but a smile tugs at my lips. Alex has always had a way of lightening the mood. But in truth, I know that Sebastian is more than just a passing crush. He is the one who has captured my heart and made me believe in love. Real love, not just something quick and fleeting or some match made to benefit two families.
Looking out the window, watching the beautiful countryside go by, I can feel the emotions welling up in me again. Alex has done all he can, and more, to make me feel better, but it just isn’t working. And I’m really regretting coming home for the weekend. Seeing my mother and knowing that this is the conclusion that she wanted for my relationship with Sebastian is just going to rub salt in the wound.
As we drive through the winding roads leading to the estate, memories of Sebastian flood my mind. I remember the way he used to make me laugh, the way he would hold my hand, and the way he would look at me with such intensity, like he saw who I really was. But all those moments are gone now. Sebastian is no longer mine, and I’m left with a heart full of longing and regret. I feel a lump forming in my throat.
“Alex, do you think I’m a naive idiot?” I blurt out, and my brother frowns at how unexpected my outburst is. “I know that everyone feels terrible after a breakup, and that this sounds cheesy, but…it’s like it was written in the stars that Seb and I are supposed to be together. I feel such a pull towards him that it’s impossible to explain.”
He stares at me for a moment, considering my words. “I’ve never been in love like that, Julia, so I can’t tell you whether it’s crazy or not. But you’ve always had a good head on your shoulders and been mature for your age. I’ve never known you to be overly dramatic about anything, so if you say that you’re in real, true love, I believe you.”
“Really?” A little spark of hope comes to life inside me. If Alex trusts me, then maybe I’m right, and Sebastian won’t be lost to me forever. Not if it’s fate bringing us together.
“Yeah, really.” Alex sounds stoic, but it doesn’t take but a few seconds for his joking smirk to start pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Listen, Ju, if you ever want to elope, let me know and I will help you out.”
I snort. “You’re joking.”
Still watching the road, Alex reaches over and grabs my shoulder affectionately. “I’m not. Plus, how often do I get to be involved in something that causes so much chaos and it does not revolve around me?”
Joy threatens to overtake the sorrow in me, but I can’t let it. Not yet, when all of this is just words between my brother and I. “It’s a nice thought, but Seb cares more about his dad’s approval than he does me, so why even bother?”
Alex’s grin widens, and I narrow my eyes at him. He’s acting strange.
“He might change his mind. Who knows?”
