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“I know it’s a lot to take on.” He pats my hand resting on the table, his voice gentle. “But you’ve been training for this your whole life. You have the skills, the knowledge, and the passion to lead this company forward.”
I glance once more around the table, still trying to process what’s happening. The board members are all stiff, some of them looking at me with nothing but apprehension at my dad’s decision. Finally, one who seems rather empathetic of my situation speaks up.
“Sebastian, we understand this is a difficult time for you,” he says, his tone kind and reassuring. “But there’s absolutely no one else your dad trusts more than you to take over the company. You are young—and that is true—but you have been with us since your time in college and have proven over and over that you can get the job done.”
“We believe you’re the best person for the job,” the man sitting right in front of me adds, sounding rather convincing and sure of himself. “We’ll do everything we can to support you and help you succeed as you adjust to your new position. I know that it will take some time for you to reach your full potential because of what you’re going through right now, but we all still believe you’re the best fit. Your father included.”
I take a deep breath and nod. It won’t be easy, but I know I have to step up and take on this new challenge. After all, if Dad really believes it’s the right time for him to step down, then I’ve got to trust him on this. But now that means my family’s legacy and the livelihood of so many employees are resting on my shoulders. I just wish that I hadn’t been so blindsided by all of this. I fully expected to be taking over sooner rather than later, but I had assumed that Dad and I would have time to talk about all of it in private first.
“Alright,” I mumble, still reeling from the shocking news. Then my eyes on Dad, I say, “I’ll do it. But I need some time to think and plan.”
“Of course,” he replies, a small smile on his face. “We’ll give you all the time you need.”
As the meeting comes to a close, and everyone starts raising from their seat, I feel a sense of trepidation. This is a huge responsibility, but it’s also a huge opportunity. It’s always been my destiny to take over the company and lead it into the current era, but I never expected it so soon. Maybe in a decade, but definitely not before. I’ll have to succeed, there is no other choice for me, but how much of myself will I lose in the process?
In a daze, I sign the documents that are pushed in front of me, smile for the picture, and my dad and I end up shaking hands while he says how proud he is. Then it’s time for the board members to do the same, and they all—one by one—shake my hand, congratulating me on my new role. We take some more pictures to commemorate the occasion, but all I can think about is the weight of this new responsibility and how the excitement of taking over as CEO will be forever tainted by the death of my mother and my siblings in my memory. It isn’t as if this would be happening if they were still alive. Just two weeks ago, I was sure that Dad would be the head of the company for many more years.
“Now, let’s have some lunch,” my dad announces as the board members file out of the room. He then turns to me and lowering his voice, he adds, “It's a big responsibility, but I know you're up for the challenge.”
What choice do I have, Dad?I think, but keep my mouth shut. The last thing my father needs right now is to feel even more guilt than he’s already experiencing. I can feel the weight of my new responsibilities pressing down on me as I give him nothing but a worried frown.
Dad places a hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to the present moment. “Sebastian, I know this is a lot to take in, but I have faith in you. You’ve been working towards this your whole life, and I believe you’re ready for it.”
His words are supposed to be comforting, but they only serve to heighten the pressure that's building inside of me. I know that I have big shoes to fill, and I can’t afford to make any mistakes, or I risk losing the faith that the board has in me. This is going to be an incredibly delicate time.
When Dad realizes that I’m done talking about it for the moment, he rises to his feet with some effort, and shuffles out to make his way to the luncheon. I don’t follow, sitting alone and trying to process everything that's happened in the past few days. My mother and siblings are gone, and now I have to take on the role of CEO of the family company. What an awful fucking day. I really thought that this moment, stepping into my father’s place, would be a happy occasion.
When the butler knocks on the doorframe sometime later, letting me know that everyone is waiting for me to begin eating, I give up on having any more private time and go to join Dad, our guests, and the rest of the board in the formal dining room. I sit at the luncheon and try to keep my composure while the guests chatter on about their condolences and memories of my mother and siblings, but all I can think about is the pain that’s consuming me. I try to push it down, to be strong for my father, but it’s near impossible. I spend my time pushing the food around on my plate, looking at everyone in their mourning attire, and feel like jumping out of my skin.
I’m so ready to be done with all of this that it’s almost a welcome distraction when the family doctor approaches me, his expression grave. Tapping me on the shoulder, the older man tells me that he’d like to see me in the adjoining study if it isn’t too much of a problem. My father is frowning at us, but I politely excuse myself and follow the doctor out of the stifling luncheon, not at all worried about missing the meal. I’ve never had less of an appetite in my life.
I escort the doctor to my dad’s study, offering him a drink once we get in, which he refuses. I make my way to the bar trolley while he remains standing in the middle of the room.
He then frowns as he watches me pour myself a double shot of whiskey. “Have you found yourself drinking more than usual?”
I slide him a stoic glance. “I didn’t think you pulled me aside to talk about my drinking problems. I thought we were discussing my father?”
The doctor sighs, adjusting his frames on his nose. “Yes, fine, you are correct. There’s no easy way to put this, Sebastian, but if your father doesn’t start taking the antidepressants I’ve prescribed him, I’m not sure that he will make it more than another month. The nurse told me he has been adamant to take his medicine.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, my voice thick with worry. “Is he really that bad?”
“I’m afraid so.” He gives a step in my direction, pondering his next set of words. “Your father’s mental state has deteriorated significantly since the loss of his wife and children. He’s been struggling to cope with the grief and hasn't been taking care of himself properly. If he doesn’t start taking care of himself, his condition could deteriorate rapidly.”
“How can someone die from depression?” I ask him in total disbelief.
The doctor looks at me with surprise, as if I should know the answer. “It’s not the depression itself that kills, Sebastian,” he responds, before heaving a long sigh. “It’s the lack of will to live. Your father may be ready to give up, and we need to do everything we can to prevent that.”
A lump forms in my throat as I think about the possibility of losing the last person in my family. “I can’t lose him too, not so soon after the others,” I grit out, taking a long drink of the whiskey in my hand.
The doctor leans forward and places a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I understand how hard this is for you. But you need to be strong for your father now. He needs your support more than ever.”
I nod, taking a few deep breaths to steady my emotions. “I’ll do whatever it takes to help him,” I say firmly, determined to be there for my father in his time of need. “Thank you for letting me know, doctor.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he replies before his eyes flicker to the now nearly-empty drink in my hand. “Just remember to take care of yourself too. It’s important to stay strong for your father, but you also need to prioritize your own well-being.”
I ignore his last comment and proceed, “I’ll watch over him and make sure he gets the help he needs. I’ll also make sure he takes his medicine.”
The doctor nods, a small smile settling on his lips for an instant, before fixing me with a serious expression. “I’m sorry that you have to face all of this alone, Seb. But you’re strong. You’ll get through this.”
