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I shift uncomfortably. “Yeah, it was everywhere in the news, so it’s not a big secret. Dad had an affair with his secretary or something and had a son with her.”
“Hmm,” Sebastian is paying close attention to me again, as if he’s trying to see if I’m bothered by his questions. “And how did you cope with it?”
I shrug. “I kept myself busy and avoided reading or watching anything in the media about them. It’d have driven me crazy if not…” I trail off, but when Sebastian continues to listen, I finish the thought. “The court system was a joke, if Mom hadn’t taken care of everything herself, she would have never had a fair case.”
“Ah, things are starting to make sense. So that’s why you want to be a judge?”
I nod. “If I can specialize in family law, I will. I definitely won’t be nice towards cheating husbands, that I know. Or wives, but from everything I’ve seen, it’s the men that seem to come out on top in those sorts of cases no matter what.”
“I better be careful, then.” His tone is teasing again, but this subject is a sore spot for me, and it’s going to take more than a joke to make me feel better.
“Do you intend to cheat on your wife?” I ask, turning to look at him fully, and Sebastian stills.
“I don’t even have a wife to begin with,” he answers with a chuckle, as if I didn’t already know that. I wouldn’t be here on this dock if he were married.
“Well, if you intend to break your vows, don’t bother having one.” My tone comes off harsher and nastier than I wanted to, but the divorce of my parents was a traumatic event, and as much as I try to play it cool, it did leave its mark on me. Sebastian is quiet now, watching me intently as if he’s still processing what I just said. “What is it? Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“I don’t intend to get married, anyway,” he confesses, sounding quite sure of himself before breaking eye contact and looking ahead to the lake. “Sounds like a lot of work.” Despite his even tone, I think he’s lying. Maybe lying to himself, even, or trying to convince himself that he really doesn’t want marriage when his heart is telling him differently. There are the soft sounds of ducks on the water, and water lapping against the wooden dock, but otherwise, there is nothing but the two of us breathing together.
“If you choose the right partner, it can be very rewarding.” This time, I keep my voice gentle and empty of any sort of judgment.
But Sebastian shakes his head in disagreement, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. “You sound like my mom. She’d totally say that.” The amusement in his voice makes me smile too and I keep observing him as he proceeds. “Truthfully, though, I think marriage’s a lot of stress, and I already have a company to take care of that is stressful enough.”
“I might sound like your mom, but she’s right. Having someone by your side isn’t supposed to be stressful. If it is, then you are with the wrong person. I guess when my father finally figured that out, it was too little too late.” I turn my eyes back to the horizon, heaving a sigh as I consider my next set of words. “Just don’t give up on your partner so easily, and they should always be there to make your life easier.”
Sebastian nods, and we both sit there in silence, enjoying each other’s company and the stunning view before us. It’s a perfect moment, despite the serious nature of our talk, and I never want it to end.A fresh breeze starts playing with my hair and it’s cold enough to give me goosebumps. I should have brought a jacket with me but I’m only wearing a sleeveless dress. Suddenly, Seb sits back up straight and without saying a word, wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer to him. The heat of his body soothes and warms me up. Our legs touching, I let my head rest on his shoulder, and we remain quiet, enjoying each other’s presence while both of us are lost in our own thoughts. The sun is starting to set, casting a warm, orange glow over the lake, but every bit of my attention is locked on how close he is to me, and how all I have to do to be touching his lips is to move my head up and over just an inch or two more.
“If only life was always so pleasant and simple,” I hear him saying, his voice barely above a whisper, but loud enough for me to hear it.
“What do you mean?” I ask, lifting my head up so I can look at him as we speak. “You seem to have a great life. Aren’t you happy with it?”
My question gives him pause, his gaze shifts to the lake ahead of him, and he exhales loudly as he thinks it through. “I don’t know. All I do is work. I barely have time to do anything else. Dad’s quite tough on me.”
“I don't think we've ever talked about your dad’s company. What do you do there exactly?”
Sebastian’s face lights up as he starts to explain the ins and outs of his family’s business. “I’m basically second-in-command, just behind my dad. We’re currently working on expanding the company, finding the right partners and investors, and that’s what we have been focused on this year.”
As he speaks, I’m utterly impressed by his intelligence and drive. It’s no wonder he’s so successful, but I can also feel myself becoming more and more distracted by his presence. The way his lips move as he speaks, the way his eyes light up when he talks about something he’s passionate about... it’s all so intoxicating.
I feel a warm rush of attraction toward him, and for a moment I forget where we are and what we’re doing. All I can think about is how much I want to get closer to him, to feel his arms around me, to kiss him...
But just as quickly as the thought comes, I push it away. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about these things, not when we’ve just agreed to be friends. I can’t push him too hard, or friends are all we'll ever be. But it’s so hard to resist when he’s sitting here beside me, his presence like a magnet drawing me closer and closer.
Once Sebastian finishes telling me about his job in the family company, we sit in silence once again, the only sound the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. The sun has almost set completely now, and the sky is painted with shades of pink and purple. It’s a beautiful sight, but all I can focus on is the man beside me.
Then he speaks again. “What you said about marriage and your dad figuring it all out too late…you are terribly wise for your age, you know that?”
I raise an eyebrow at him playfully. “When you spend your whole life witnessing a marriage ending in a divorce, trust me, you get wise.”
“And despite it all, do you still believe in it?” Sebastian’s voice lowers slightly, and he gazes at me intently.
“Why wouldn’t I?” I keep staring back at him, feeling a sudden heat spreading through my body. “It’s the people in the marriage that make or break it, isn’t it?”
“I–” He seems to be lost for words, and I hold back a smile, knowing how much talking about the subject of marriage with me affects him. “I like that you still believe in the institution. It’s good to have hopes.” But it’s obvious he wanted to say something else, something more private. Why did he stop mid-way? That I have no idea.
For a moment, as we keep looking at each other, it seems as though he’s going to lean in and kiss me. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as his gaze flickers down to my lips. But just as quickly, he breaks the tension.
“I like being with you, Julia.” His words are delivered with so much sincerity and warmth that I can’t help but feel my heartbeat quicken.
