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Julia’s eyes had gone hooded at my touch, but my words make them pop right back open. “Are you serious?” she asks, her tone coming off nearly offended.
I nod. “Why not? I don't want to hide this,” I tell her, looking deeply into her eyes. My voice goes gruff as I try to convey the depth of my emotions. “I don't want to treat whatever we have as some sort of dark secret that we have to be ashamed of. You deserve to be in the light, Julia.”
Julia looks at me, searching my face for something. Her expression is unreadable for a moment before she responds. “Fine,” she utters with a sigh, her tone guarded. “But Dad isn’t going to fly to Amsterdam, let me tell you right away. He’s gone and can’t come back.”
I feel a pang of concern at her words, and I’m especially worried about what it could mean for our future together. “Why can’t he travel?”
Julia just shrugs, her eyes dropping. “It’s got to do with Mom. That’s all I know. It’s not like either of them would ever talk to me about it.”
My mind races with possibilities as I try to figure out what it could mean. But my focus quickly shifts to finding a solution. “I’ll speak with your mom, then,” I tell her, pressing her hand in mine. “I want her to know that my feelings for you are serious and true.”
Her mouth drops at my announcement and she fixes me a stare. “You want to meet Mom? Oh gosh, I don't know about that.”
Dad had warned me that Margaret isn’t one to mess around with, but hearing it come from her own daughter is different. The idea of me meeting her mother has Julia obviously on edge, which raises alarm bells in my head, but I remind myself that she’s worth any obstacle. “She can’t be as scary as my dad,” I say with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood, but Julia just frowns at me. I feel a shiver of trepidation run up my spine. “...Can she?”
Julia doesn't respond, so lost in thought that she jumps when her phone starts ringing. She checks the caller ID and sighs. “I have to go. I’ll see what I can do about setting up that meeting, but you can’t rush me. It isn’t going to be easy.”
I nod in understanding, a comfortable silence settling between us before we exit the car at the same time. I walk around to her side and open the small door beside the main gates for Julia, to which she rewards me by giving me a hug that lasts longer than would be considered appropriate by anyone else. This is Julia, though, and I hold her to me as long as she will allow, the press of her body against mine sweet and comforting.And frustrating, I think sardonically as my manhood twitches in my pants.
Watching her leave makes my heart pound with uncertainty—especially as I realize that she’s rapidly becoming painfully important to me. I’m well aware that I’m way too old for her, but on the other hand, I won't let anything stand in the way of us…even if it means facing her formidable mother. I’m determined to find a way to make this work, to show her that I am committed to her and our future together.
My life has been shrouded in a darkness so heavy I thought I would never be able to shirk it, but five minutes with Julia Van Dieren and I’m reminded that she is light incarnate. I’ll never be able to let her go, and that knowledge makes my heart tight in my chest.
3
Julia
As I standin the front porch, I linger at the door for a long moment, knowing that once I go back inside, the magic of the moment with Sebastian will be over. I just want to hang onto it for a little while longer. But it’s late, and if I take much longer, either Mom, Stuart—the butler—or some other staff member is going to come looking for me, so I step inside and close the door as silently as possible behind me.
With my heart still soaring, I feel like I'm on cloud nine. I can’t believe that we finally admitted our feelings for each other. I try to discreetly go up to my bedroom, but as soon as my foot hits the first step, I hear a voice behind me.
“Miss Julia, finally! Your mother wishes to see you in the salon,” Stuart informs me, his tone always so prim and proper, and I groan internally, thinking about what exactly Mom wishes to say. There’s no avoiding it, though, and I need to come to terms with the idea that she knows what I was just doing outside. I can’t hide it forever.
The petit salon is warm and cozy, with a fire burning brightly in the fireplace, crackling and suffusing everything in an orange glow. My mother is sitting in an armchair, her expression stern as she swirls the amber liquid in her glass. As soon as she sees me, her gaze returns to the fireplace and she slowly gives a gulp of her whiskey. “Did you finally end that relationship once and for all, Julia?”
Her tone is colder than ice, but it’s her question that gives me pause and makes me feel uneasy. I find myself lost for words as I consider several answers. “I, eh, I don’t know–”
“Don’t insult me by playing dumb,” she snaps, still not bothering to look at me.
My heart sinks. I know where this is going. “Fine. No, I didn't end it. And I won’t,” I tell her firmly, trying to stay composed.
Mom lets out a sigh and finally turns to face me. She looks annoyed, but stubborn, all of which is normal for her. “For God’s sake, Julia, that man is obviously a pervert, and you’re falling right into his trap.” Her eyes flutter briefly shut before she heaves a long sigh, considering her next set of words. “I thought I raised you to be smarter than this.” The disappointment in her voice is enough to bring tears to my eyes. “You won’t see that man again. Are we clear?”
Tears threaten to fall, but I refuse to back down. “I love him, Mom. He's everything to me, and he just lost his family…” I trail off, feeling a lump form in my throat.
“I won’t allow it,” she interrupts, her tone rising. “My decision is final.”
I feel my frustration starting to build, and when the tears actually do start to fall down my face, I brush them away before Mom can get the chance to see them. Why can’t she just see how much Sebastian means to me?
“He even wanted to meet you. Don't be like this,” I plead, hoping to find some common ground with her.
“To meet me? Oh, how convenient…” she scoffs, raising from her seat, her laughter cruel.
My anger starts to boil. How can she be so dismissive of Seb's pain? “He just lost his siblings and Mom. How can you be so indifferent towards him?” I ask, my heart stuck in my throat. “What if you were gone and someone was treating me this way?”
She ignores my pleas for understanding, seeming to already be convinced that she’s right and that I’m absolutely wrong. Nothing short of usual. She turns to face me, pulling her shawl over her shoulder. “Sebastian is not the match for you, Julia. He is too old. He knows it, and yet he still had the audacity to come over and ask you to be with him. He has no manners, no honor, nothing!”
“That’s not true! We just spoke, that’s it,” I snap back, feeling my frustration rising. “Neither of us did anything wrong!”
