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Roxanne’s jaw works, but she still doesn’t answer me. Mastering the art of ignoring me, she proceeds with breakfast like I’m no longer here.
I try to imagine what would drive someone to get high like that before a job, but I’m quickly reminded of how Roxanne wasn’t doing burlesque shows or serving tables. She was an escort, and then a madame, selling herself and other women for profit. It almost makes sense that she would need to do a line or two in order to get through the day as a coping mechanism. Still, it doesn’t excuse her behavior or the way she’s trying to make light of her dancer’s behavior now.
Having had enough, and wanting to flee before I figure out what to say next, Roxanne stands brusquely, her chair scraping the concrete loudly with the force of her movements. My stomach is roiling, head aching with this new information. How could I get so close to letting my guard down with Roxanne?
When she turns to go, desperate to get the last word in, I blurt out, “Maybe it’s a good thing that they’re going to shut down your cabaret. That place is trash, anyway.”
Slowly, Roxanne turns around to face me once more, her chin held high and a flash of prideful anger in her eyes. Her words are loud enough for everyone to hear but steady. “Don’t you ever get tired of hurting people like this? Is it because daddy dearest didn’t give you the same attention growing up as your brother, so now you feel entitled to be mean to the rest of us?”
Her words drop like an anchor in the ocean, and all other activity on the terrace ceases. The volleyball that had been in flight falls to the water with a plop. Everyone has gone pale, their eyes wide, and Dan is climbing out of the pool. I run a gamut of emotions in the space of a second, seeing red from rage before it all drains away and leaves me cold and humiliated, every part of me chilled except for my hot, flushed cheeks and neck. Like a robot, I stand, turn on my heel, and stomp back inside without looking back. I don’t even glance at Roxanne when I pass her. She’s won and driven me off, so now she can live with the consequences.
I can still feel everyone’s eyes on my back as I disappear out of sight, the humiliation weighing on me like a ton of bricks. How could Roxanne say that to me? I know what I said to her was out of line, but not nearly as out of line as her loud proclamation to the entire terrace. At least I had spoken to her quietly. Now everyone knows me as a spoiled brat, and the worst part is, I don’t completely disagree with what Roxanne accused me of. Still, I’m not going to stand outside and let myself be a punching bag for everyone else.
Despite enjoying the quietness of my bedroom, I don’t want to stay in this house the whole day, knowing that everyone will be tiptoeing around me and my bruised ego. I’m going to take the entire day for myself and run away somewhere private to get my head straight. I don’t need anyone here, and I certainly don’t need their sympathy.
In a trance, I strip, pulling on my olive green two piece and throw an off-the-shoulder ivory cover up over it. Then I shove a beach towel, sunscreen, and a few bottles of water into my beach bag and haul it over my shoulder, sending out the request on my phone for one of the drivers. I can’t get out of here fast enough at this point.
My eyes are fixed on the floor as I leave my room, focused on the lines of grout and the veins in the marble, afraid that if I look up there will be more pitying, awkward glances cast my way. I’m almost free of the place, the door in sight when I run face first into another human body.
“Easy there,” Dan says, taking me by the shoulders so I don’t knock us both over. “Where are you headed, El?”
“None of your fucking business, Daniel.”
“Ouch, you’re a little spicy I see,” he replies, jogging behind me to keep up as I continue on my escape path. “But seriously, where are you going?”
“Anywhere but here,” I admit as I head to the gates. “Without you, by the way, so go back inside.”
“Don’t be such a brat,” he calls behind me as I reach the front gate, the black sedan I called idling there waiting for me. Dan sprints in front of me and opens the back door like he’s taking me on a date, waving his hand to indicate that I should get in, as if that wasn’t what I was doing already. Annoyed beyond reason, I crawl into the leather seats, feeling Dan’s weight on the seat beside me as he follows me in. I hold up an arm to block him, still not looking in his direction.
“Dan, leave me alone,” I beg.
Now, his tone is genuine. “After what Roxanne told you? Not happening. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“But Ineedto be alone,” I insist, those damned tears threatening to pour forth again. “Please, Dan, can you––”
Dan, of course, interrupts me and speaks directly to the driver. “Lido del Faro, in Punta Carena.”
The driver gives a tight nod, and then the car, to my chagrin, starts to move. Dan sits back smugly, folding his hands behind his head as if he’s won some great victory.
“Where the hell is that?” I demand, feeling my perfect day alone unraveling in my hands. “I want to get far away from here and go to the beach.”
“That’s exactly where we’re going,” he tells me, the corners of his mouth twisting up. “It’s a little bit of a drive, though, so why don’t you talk to me?”
I cross my arms, falling back against the seat in defeat. “About what, exactly?”
He unfurls himself and turns his body towards mine. I can feel his eyes roving over me, concern creasing his brow. “Don’t play dumb, El. About what happened. I didn’t catch any of the conversation until Roxanne spoke up. How did you guys get to the point of arguing like that so quickly?”
“I asked about the cabaret video scandal again,” I admit, looking out the window, a sigh rolling off my lips. “I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, but Roxanne is being ignorant if she thinks this is going to stay hidden, even for one more day.”
“But you said you two talked about all of that yesterday and it didn’t make her this angry. What changed?”
I feel Dan’s hand graze mine, and it reminds me immediately of Johan brushing his knuckles against mine, trying to initiate holding hands. With Dan, though, it’s different, and I’m happy to let him lock his fingers in with mine, his touch a grounding comfort in my time of need. “I might have been a little harsh, but not nearly as harsh as she was.
There’s a glint of humor in his gaze as he asks, “What did you say?”
“Well, I might have called her cabaret trash…”
Dan winces. “Elise… it cost Roxanne a lot to give up her escort business, which, might I add, she built from the ground up. The cabaret is her last connection to her successes as a single woman, and now it’s all in danger, so of course you insulting it would offend her.”
