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I've been doing a circuit in the thermal waters, trying to find some serenity, when I see my dad wearing nothing but swim trunks walking towards me. The sight is so out of place that I do a double take, but when I look again, it really is my father. He’s accompanied by one of the spa staff who leads him directly to me, and he grins as if joining me has been the plan all along. Like I’m the one out of the loop, not him.
“What are you doing here, Pops?” I ask, more confused than ever. “I’ve never seen you here before.”
“You’re not as sneaky as you think you are,” he teases as I watch him enter the pool and swim over to me. “But I’m here to offer you some much needed fatherly advice.”
Alarm skitters over my nerves.Please don’t let this be more talk about my relationship.“And that is..?”
“Avoiding problems won’t make them disappear, Dan,” he says sagely.
I can feel a knot forming in my stomach as I ask, “Why did you come all the way here just to tell me that?”
Dad floats on his back for a moment, clearly enjoying the water much more than I am. “Elise came to speak to me,” he blurts out, trying to gauge my reaction. “She wants to talk to you.”
Her name hits me like a knife in the gut, but I don’t let my face show how much it hurts. “She just wants to talk because she wants me to join her and her dad on that hunting trip,” I tell him, feeling a mix of anger and disappointment. “It’s only to save face.”
But my dad just shakes his head, putting his feet down on the pool floor again and standing. “She loves you, Dan.”
All I hear for a second is static, and I breathe deeply to get my racing thoughts under control. I can hardly believe what I'm hearing. “No, that’s not true. She just loves herself,” I say, trying to push down the feelings that are welling up inside of me. God, I have craved hearing her say those words to me… I’ve dreamed of hearing them fall from her lips so many times that it’s almost impossible to believe that it might actually be true.
“She told me that herself,” my dad replies, lowering himself into the water before rising again. “I think she was being honest.”
I don't know what to think. I've been so focused on my hurt and anger, I haven’t stopped to consider that Elise might actually love me. The thought is both comforting and terrifying, and I can feel the walls I’ve built around my heart starting to crumble.
Steam curls into the air around my father and me, the murmuring chatter of the other guests in the public part of the spa muffling the sounds of nature like the sounds of so many insects. The world is still turning, life goes on, and… Elise loves me.
“Fine, I’ll talk to her,” I say, finally, keeping my voice as steady as I can, not wanting to show him how much of a mess I am inside. “I need to see if she really means it.”
Inevitably, the shadow of doubt tries to creep in. Could Elisereallylove me, or is she shallow enough to lie to my dad about it just to get my attention once more? I’ve always thought she only cared about herself, but what if there’s more to it than that? I suddenly feel torn between wanting to believe in her feelings and my own fears of getting hurt.
“Are these mineral springs turning you into a statue?” Dad asks, breaking the silence with a chuckle. “I know your dad telling you that your girlfriend loves you isn’t the normal order of things, but you could still look a bit more excited, no?”
“You could have just texted me…” I grumble, pushing my dripping hair out of my face.
“As if you would have answered,” Dad shoots back with a smirk. “You’ve fallen off the face of the planet. We were all starting to worry that you joined a cult or something.”
Despite myself, I grin, and then, the heavy weight misery slowly abating, I laugh. “Fine. You’re persistent, old man, I’ll give you that.”
“Where do you think you get it from?”
I ask Pops to tell me about Elise’s visit, and we swim over to the edge of the mineral pool, resting our elbows on the concrete lip as he fills me in on everything that happened. Hearing that Elise showed up to my family home looking for me, and then pleaded her case to Dad makes my chest ache. It’s such a powerful gesture, a move so out of character for stubborn, ice queen Elise that I can barely breathe.
She really does love me. Holy shit.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, kid,” he says, amused.
“Just thinking about something equally unlikely…” I slide a glance over at Pops as I think something through. “I suppose you won't leave without me?”
“I booked a room for the night, actually. But tomorrow I'm taking you back to Amsterdam, yes,” my dad replies, a small smile forming on his lips. “She needs you, Dan. You and I both know her family is a real piece of work.”
I nod, already knowing all too well the kind of pressure Elise is under from her family. “That I know.”
“So be the boyfriend she needs you to be,” he says firmly, his words ringing in my ears.
As we both sit in the warmth of the thermal waters, I can't help but reflect on my dad's words. I know deep down that I need to be there for Elise, no matter what her family may say or do. And I can only hope that in doing so, we can find our way back to each other.
Dad and I continue to chat, and eventually move away from the more dramatic topics, but Elise is still on my mind. I struggle to focus on the conversation, my thoughts constantly drifting back to her. I wonder what kind of boyfriend she really needs. Is it someone like me? My Dad seems so sure, but I still doubt my own capabilities.
Despite my doubts, it’s impossible to deny the love I feel for Elise. I long for her to love me too, but I've been hurt by her before and it's hard for me to fully trust in our relationship. But at the same time, I can’t imagine letting her go. I want to be the best possible partner for her and to make our relationship work. I just have to speak to her, there’s nothing else to be done.
