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Curious, I tried to replicate it. But no luck. My intuition had settled in me like a content cat just happy to be along for the ride.
Disturbed, I wondered if after all my years of relying on tracking, my intuition had atrophied. Now that I was using it more often, perhaps the accuracy and reliability was slowly improving.
I could only hope. No one would complain if my powers improved and expanded. Especially not me. Still, unease pricked at me. I didn’t like being in the dark about my own magic. Needing to distract myself again, I asked, “Do you think President Castile knew about Benjamin?”
Razai shook his head. “Castile thinks his son was a golden boy. On the surface, he was to everyone. I’m positive he didn’t know.”
“Maybe I’ll have to talk to Castile too.”
“Probably wise, Detective. Cover all your bases.”
A beat of silence passed, and suddenly I didn’t think I could ignore my fuck-up anymore. “Razai, about what happened in the club…”
“What about it?” His contented expression didn’t budge.
“It’s not a good idea for that to happen again.”
He stated, “You want safety and predictability.”
I blinked, completely taken aback. “What?”
“You like being in control. You like the world falling into predictable pieces that you can fit together into a nice little picture. You don’t want to be surprised, and yet it thrills you. You simultaneously desire the mundane and crave the unknown. You and I go against everything you think you need. You still want it, though, and that confuses you.”
“You can’t read me that easy.” My words radiated with confidence. As they should. He was totally off-base.
Right?
Razai hummed something, distracted, and then added, “You really are a pleasant surprise, Detective. I never thought I’d find someone like you.”
“That’s a weird way to talk about an employee.”
“You’re exceptional. Thorough and talented. For an amateur. Why is that strange to recognize?”
I snorted. “To be honest? You don’t seem to have known any of the victims very well. Yet, you’re very involved with my investigation and my success. You’re treating this case like it’s personal, but you don’t have any strong ties to any of the victims. I’m not sure what you care about actually.”
“Maybe I like a little mystery too,” he supplied. “You’re right. I don’t care too much about the victims themselves, but the world isn’t about me, is it? The campus should be safe, and that’s enough.”
He was hedging. I played with the silk hem of my robe. “Then why do I matter so much?”
“Who says you do?” he teased, giving me a sly smirk.
I rolled my eyes. “Just answer.”
He sighed. “Fine. You’re a kindred spirit. An outsider in a world of gods and mortals. A misfit without a bloodline. Not that Azra isn’t your family, but existing while cut off from your bloodline isn’t for the weakhearted. I’m not complaining about my fate, Gray. I’m saying that I can be myself around you.” With a teasing glance my way, he added, “Plus, I am pleased you’re competent.”
“For an amateur?” I qualified.
“That’s a given.”
“Asshole,” I muttered, nudging his arm.
“I won’t even argue,” he said, nudging me back.
I felt oddly fluttery. On edge. Ready to flutter myself off that edge, in fact. Probably to a painful and uncertain death.
The sensation confused me. Caring only for my close family was easy and natural. This, however, was wildly different from my relationship with Azra and our parents. Different from the friendly connection with Jasmine and Dhalia, or even with my past love interests.
Why is this different? And why does it scare me?
