AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I am. Doesn’t mean that my mom wasn’t present at some point in my life. I used to live with her.” There. That wasn’t incriminating, right?
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure,” I replied, feeling self-conscious and confused. The way Razai watched me, waiting patiently like he hung on every word, was a little uncomfortable. I didn’t like being under a microscope, and yet part of me wanted to tell him this.
Besides, avoiding this conversation might just pique his interest more. So, I added, “She kept me until I was ten, as you read in my files. And then she decided she’d had enough. I went to bed one night in her shitty little house. When I woke up, I found myself curled in a corner near Times Square with nothing but a note in my pocket. She told me she was gone, and that someone would probably find me soon.”
“She isn’t dead?”
“I live my life like she is. Easier that way. And more likely.”
“What an asshole.” He bit into his pizza.
“Couldn’t have said it better.” I’ve often thought about how Mom got me from the Demon Territory, across the Gate, and into Divine Territory. Dad never gave any explanation, and I never pressed it. Mom tended to be a sore topic for the both of us.
“So, what did you do? Where did you go?”
I chewed, trying to find the right words. “The city was kinder to me than most. I only had one night on my own before someone noticed me and took me to a foster care home. I’ll never forget that morning. Sticky with summer heat. The sky a blinding blue. I’d just been planning to beg for money or food when a man approached me and asked where my parents were. The rest is history.”
“You carry that pain well,” he observed.
I leaned onto my pillow, assessing him. “What do you mean by that? Expect me to be sad and huddled in a corner?”
“No, I mean you carry it well. It has to hurt you still.”
“Of course it does.” I couldn’t say everything that was in that note or why Mom had to give me up. The reasons made sense. Sort of. And it all had to do with my half-angel blood.
My mother’s hazy face swam in my memories. I don’t exactly recall what she looked like. She smelled like the sun and expensive perfume. Soil, too, since she was always escaping to the greenhouse. She gave the best hugs and always kissed the top of my head before I’d gone to sleep.
It’s been a while since I’ve thought of her like that.
Razai interrupted my thoughts. “Accepting pain is the sign of a true warrior. Life is too full of suffering to pretend it doesn’t affect us. That’s only for children. And idiots.”
“Wait… was that a compliment?”
He scoffed, “No way. I’d never spend the verbal energy to compliment you unless it somehow showers me in good light. Like, wow, Gray, I’m so glad you’re the new detective on the case. You’re resourceful and ballsy and surprisingly clever with your cover. I knew when I chose you that you’d do well. I have wonderful taste, don’t I?”
“Smooth,” I drawled.
“But you smiled! I saw it!”
“It was a cheek cramp that temporarily lifted one side of my mouth. Don’t be ridiculous.” The cold rim of the bottle kept my lips from betraying me again. I swallowed way more beer than I wanted to.
“It’s not a lie, though. I have excellent taste.”
I set the beer down, giving myself a reason to turn away from him and breathe. “In pizza and beer, at least. Betty is a different story.”
“You come for my wife, I come for you. Watch it, Wilder.”
“You call me so many different things,” I said suddenly, facing him again. “Detective. Gray. Valence. Now, Wilder. I thought Azra was ridiculous for calling me Pigeon, but that one I’ve gotten used to.”
He shrugged. “You have a lot of names. I like using them all. It’s less boring.”
“Names aren’t supposed to be boring or exciting,” I argued. “They’re just names.”
“Well, you call me Razai and asshole, so you’re not exactly the perfect point of authority, are you?”
“Wanna add smart-ass to the mix?” I suggested.
