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A door clicked shut, closing off the noise. “Jasmine can handle it. How are you?”
“Alive,” I observed.
“And stumped.”
The files and notes spread across my room echoed her, mocking me. I griped, “Why do you have to be a bitch about it?”
Her snort filled my ear. Gods, I missed her snort. I wanted to see her while she snorted. Was that normal best-friend-sister behavior?
Eh. Probably.
“So,” I prodded. “Are you still mad at me?”
“A little,” she admitted. “But I’ve calmed down enough to admit that you’re a grown woman and you can make all the shitty decisions you like.”
“Thanks,” I drawled.
Undeterred, she continued, “And if you want to put your entire lifestyle and safety in jeopardy, you are totally free to do that.”
“Not helping…”
“You could join a traveling circus and wear a jumpsuit that says, Hi! My name is Gray Wilder, and I’m technically half—”
“Azra, zip it,” I snapped.
“Just saying.”
Rubbing my temples did nothing to stop the pulsing vein in my forehead. Maybe an ice bath would calm my blood pressure. I considered calling a water divine to drench me for temperature assistance.
Azra sighed. “Stop distracting yourself with strange scenarios in your head, Pigeon.”
“I was not,” I sulked.
“Were too. If you’d let me finish, maybe you’d be feeling better already. I was going to end this all by saying that I still trust you. You’re smart, Gray. Smarter than you even know, which is why you need to trust yourself completely. Completely. Do you understand?”
A frown pulled at me. “What are you saying?”
“You listen to me and trust me because I’ve earned it. Even then I have the ability to lead you astray. That’s been on my mind ever since you left. Here I was, so convinced I knew what you wanted. What’s best for you. And then you make some out-of-the blue decision to fuck up everything I’ve believed.”
I cringed.
“And stop cringing,” she growled, hints of her feline nature rising. “I can practically smell it through the phone. The point is that even your closest allies have the potential to lead you astray. Whether they mean to or not isn’t the question. You have to get better at trusting yourself. Being honest with yourself. Acting on what you want and not just taking the easy path.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s… unexpected. Coming from you.”
“Fuck off.”
I giggled. “No, really. I’m impressed. That was so motivational. Should I be taking notes?”
“Gray, I’m serious.”
“I know, I know,” I gave in, forcing myself to sober up. “And I hear you. Insightful as always and…” I trailed, shocked by the surge of emotion that clogged my throat. “Thanks. I think I’ve been in survival mode for so long that I stopped admitting I needed anything more than safety. Don’t get me wrong, though. That mentality got me to where I am today, so I have no regrets. But you’re right about the rest of it too. It might take a while for me to learn how to trust my intuition—not just my magical kind—and really start living.”
She hummed in agreement. “Growth isn’t linear, Pigeon. We have long, long lives ahead of us. We won’t be the same people at the end. I guess I’m just excited to see who you become over and over.”
Damn. That one got me. A tear attempted to puddle in my eye, but I fanned it away. “You too, Kitten. Thanks for having my back.”
“You won’t go a day without it.” She caught me up on her week in the cafe, which was as normal as possible. In fact, everything seemingly calmed down since I left, a fact that made me grin.
