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“Stop worrying so much, Gray,” Razai suggested. “Just live your life and accept the surprises.”
“How do you know I was surprised?”
One hand on the wheel, the other lacing itself into my fingers, he said with that tone of sarcasm, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it was the blank, stunned expression you’ve had for the last three lights.” He stopped at a red one and looked at me, completely unbothered. “It’s not bad to want something.”
“Yes, it is,” I said quietly while his green eyes peered into the darkest places of my soul. “Wanting something is the dagger that cuts your dreams. To want is to be destined to lose.”
The light turned green. Razai didn’t budge or blink. “That’s a pathetic excuse.”
Cars honked behind us.
“It’s not an excuse,” I insisted.
“Of course it is. You’re denying yourself the right to want because you fear losing it. That’s like saying, ‘I don’t want to build muscle because maybe, one day, I’ll stop trying and become weak.’”
“That is a false equivalency,” I argued. “One is a… a lifestyle choice. My example is based on pure fucking survival.”
He didn’t skip a beat. “And why is that? Survival from what?”
Fuck.
I shut my mouth. Cars zoomed past us, swerving and honking. The green light glowed on the dash.
Did I just ruin everything?
Chapter Thirty-Six
“Worry about yourself, Razai.”
“What are you enduring? Is someone hurting you? Are you hiding from something? Someone?”
I snapped, “Of course not! Where did you get that idea?”
He leaned over the center console, invading my space even more. “Are you in some sort of trouble?”
My entire field of vision was him. His hooded eyes, too familiar with me. His scent, his voice—
Too much. It’s too much.
Someone cursed at us through a rolled-down window, making me flinch. I snapped, “You need to drive.”
“I’ll drive when you answer me.”
My heart coated in hardened steel. If he thought he could force me to talk, he was in for a lovely shitstorm of disappointment. “You should try holding your breath too.”
“So many secrets,” he whispered. “So much to hide. Your powers. Your strange need to survive in what seems like a simple life. You are hiding something, Gray Wilder. That much is obvious. I want to know what it is.”
“Even if I did, you haven’t come close to earning that,” I replied, practically choking on my rage. “You don’t even have the right to ask. Now, drive.”
His arrogant chin lifted in defiance. “I said I’ll drive when you answer.”
I shoved open the car door and got out.
“Gray!” he called. “This isn’t how someone acts when they don’t have secrets!”
“Maybe I care about the principle too. Now fuck off.” I slammed the door shut and dug my heels into the asphalt. This had been a mistake. A huge fucking mistake. I’d let my guard down, and Razai was trying to pry me open.
No one was entitled to my secrets. Especially some pretty-boy archangel who’s an expert at convincing me to do things against my better judgment.
