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I want to get up and beat the shit out of my dad. I want to give him the pain he’s given me for so long, but I can’t get up. My broken body is betraying me in this moment because I want nothing more than to kill him.
But I can’t.
Dad rips me away from Mom and throws me against the wall. Black spots pepper my vision; I try to stay conscious, but I have no more energy left.
Mom screams in pain when Dad kneels into her stomach, pressing her into the broken table.
“Get off her,” I say weakly, pushing off the wall.
Dad smirks when I stumble towards him. “What are you gonna do, boy?” he taunts.
I fall to the floor in a heavy heap, grunting when my head hits the floor.
“I’m going to kill you,” I rasp before the world goes black.
* * *
Eighteen years old
It always begins at seven o’clock.
As soon as Dad gets home from work—at seven o’clock on the dot—he goes straight to the liquor cabinet and drinks right from the bottle. He usually spends twenty minutes drinking himself into oblivion, then he’ll find a miniscule problem and start raging at Mom and me.
I’m eighteen, which means I’m a legal adult. I don’t have to take his bullshit anymore. He thinks he can do whatever he wants, say whatever he wants, and expects Mom and me to cower in fear because that’s all we’ve ever done. All we’ve ever known.
No more.
It ends tonight.
I bought a house with the considerable savings from the past couple years. Somewhere far away from here, where he can’t find us. I’ve already found one—the hard part will be convincing Mom to come with me.
I unlock my bedroom door and open it just a crack, waiting for the moment he explodes. Mom is in the kitchen cooking, but she got a late start on dinner. Of course, this is a problem, because now Dad can’t eat until she’s done.
“You can’t do anything right, can you, Samiyah?” I hear him slur.
“I’m sorry,” Mom whispers timidly. I peek out my door and see her furiously stirring at the stove, her small body looking so fragile next to Dad’s looming presence.
“What’s the point of staying with you if you can’t even make sure my dinner is ready when I get home from work?” His voice is louder now, and I practically see the anger rippling off him in waves. “You’re fucking useless, Samiyah. Why do I keep you around when I could just go to Stacey’s house, where I’ll be taken care of?”
A sob escapes her, and her shoulders start to heave with silent cries. I hate when he talks to her like this, when he brings up his other woman. He’s never bothered to hide his other family from us before, but he never used to rub it in our faces, either. Something about him is different tonight.
I walk out of my room towards the kitchen to give Mom a hand. I take the large wooden spoon from her and start stirring the sauce for the mac and cheese—my favorite food she makes for me.
“I’ve got it, Mom.”
The sight of her shaking with fear and anticipation of being hit infuriates me. How can a man as big as him make someone so small feel so intimidated?
Right when I start stirring, Dad snatches the spoon away from me and shoves it into Mom’s chest, splattering the sauce on her shirt. “That’s pussy work, boy.”
“What did you just say to me?” I get in his face and bare my teeth. The stench of his bad breath mixed with the liquor turns my stomach.
He shoves me, and my back hits the handle of the pot. Mom gasps and hurries to steady it before the sauce can splash all over the stovetop and counter. I yell out when I feel the heat of the stove through the thin fabric of my shirt.
“Asshole,” I growl, lunging at Dad before he has a chance to process what’s happening.
He’s so liquored up that he falls to the floor as soon as I push him back. His hand fists the collar of my shirt and I fall with him, and the two of us start brawling on the kitchen floor.
Mom’s yelling at us to stop, that she’ll do better and dinner’s almost ready. I fuckinghatethat. I hate that she feels like she has to justify her actions to pacify her husband. I hate the way he makes us feel inferior. I’m done taking his abuse. It ends tonight when one of us is in the hospital or six feet under.
