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“Yes.” I hissed, tipping my head back as he pushed me towards an orgasm. “I’m coming baby.” I whispered and he grunted as I started tightening down on him. I fell onto his chest, and he wrapped both arms around my back and held me tight to him before biting the top of my shoulder as he started coming. He filled me up with come and I moaned at how erotic it was for me to feel him lose it inside of me.
He fisted my hair and pulled my lips down to his and kissed me in a slow sensual dance. There was no rush, or demand for more, just this.
Just us.
“I love you.” He whispered after a minute and I laid my forehead against his, sighing as my body relaxed fully against him.
“I love you, Paxton.” I whispered back, using his first name because something inside of me didn’t think using his road name was adequate for what had just passed between us.
The casket was lowered into the ground and people stepped forward to grab a handful of dirt to throw into the hole alongside the flowers that laid across the top already. But I didn’t move.
I was frozen in time as the entire thing brought with it the finality to Blaine’s life.
He was gone.
Buried in the ground, never to be seen again.
It didn’t feel real, yet as Maddie squeezed my hand and Fox kissed my temple, the weight of it all was almost enough to push me down into the dirt alongside my brother.
“Delilah.” Colt stopped in front of me in his black leather vest and dark sunglasses as the people who weren’t a part of our family, or the club filed away from the site to their waiting cars. “Anything you need, you come to me.” He said firmly, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. “You and Maddie are forever a part of our family and we’ll take care of you.” He said, reaching up to put his hand on Maddie’s shoulder. She thanked him and then gave him a hug, while I was frozen.
“Let’s go.” Fox said against my hairline as he gently pulled me away from the barren earth next to my mom’s headstone. “Let’s get you home.”
“We’re having a get together at the club tonight, for Blaine.” Colt said as we walked away, “D, I think you should come.”
“Why?” I finally asked, clearing my throat against the scratchy dryness that had settled since the last time I spoke before the ceremony started. “Why would I want to come there?”
Colt looked from me to Fox and then to Maddie, giving her a small smile that she returned. “Because whether you like it or not, we’re your family now. And Blaine would want to make sure that you’re safe and watched over.”
“No he wouldn’t.” I shook my head angrily. “My brother never wanted the darkness of the club to touch me or Maddie.” I looked at my sister and glared at the way he still had his hand on her shoulder. I grabbed her and pulled her away from him. “He didn’t want that life for us, he said so repeatedly. So no, I won’t be coming to the club to celebrate his life by doing the one thing he fought to keep us away from.”
I turned and walked away with Maddie’s hand tight in mine and heard Fox make his polite apologies, telling the President that I was upset and not thinking clearly, but I couldn’t be bothered to care what they thought of me.
I was numb inside to anything except my pain.
“He means well.” Maddie whispered as we walked towards my car.
“I don’t care.” I answered truthfully. “It’s too little, too late.”
“I know.” She sighed and took her black cardigan off and tossed it into the car, “But it’s better than nothing. I’m going to choose to allow anyone that wants to give a damn about us to do it. Because the sad reality is we don’t have anyone else. So, if the big guy wants to watch out for us and invite us to his club house to have a couple of beers and remember Blaine where he was happiest, I’m going to do that.” Anger bristled under her tone and disappointment flashed on her face as she climbed into the back seat.
Fuck.
She was right. I knew she was.
But I didn’t know how to just move on and let the weird changes to our life take place.
“Hey.” Fox said, walking up behind me and resting his hand on my back, turning me to face him. “Take it easy on him, will you?”
“Why?”
“Because he means well.”
“So I’ve heard,” I snapped and then sighed, looking over my shoulder to where Maddie glared at me through the window. “Let’s just go home and I’ll think about it.”
“Okay.” He nodded and walked around the front of the car. When he got to his side, he looked at me over the roof and rested his arms on the metal and stared at me. “For what it’s worth, there might be a time that I’m not around and you’re going to need someone to look after you.” He swallowed as I glared at him in confusion, “Colt is trustworthy D. He may be your only ally someday, so you’d do well not to burn the bridge before you find yourself needing it.”
With that he got in the car and slammed the door behind him and started up the engine.
