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“Maybe I should bring Tanner out here for this ...” He looks longingly at the door to his packmate’s room, but I might die if there’s another witness to what I suspect is coming.
I reach up and grab his chin, redirecting his face until our eyes are locked. “Emilio. Alvarez.”
“Okay, okay! Look—” He pauses, grabbing my water off the table and taking a long drink. “You’re an omega. They are alphas.”
“Micah’s a beta,” I interrupt pettily.
“A beta who’s part of an alpha pack. I just want to make sure you’re being careful. That you’re comfortable. That you know what you’re getting into. That they’re treating you right, not pressuring you into anything. All thestuff, you know.”
“We’re just friends,” I protest, feeling my cheeks heat. Even having suspected this was what he wanted to talk about doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.
“Right. If that’s true, that’s fine. It’s also fine if it’s more than that. I just worry about you with everything that happened. And you didn’t grow up around packs—neither of us did—so the different culture and customs can be confusing. I have to look out for you as your older brother, and—Mierda!I’m totally screwing this up, aren’t I? They must have guides for this sort of thing. Here—” He shoots his arm out to grab Tanner’s computer, pulling it in front of him and quickly logging on. “The internet has everything. I bet they have some sort of script I can use. Should have started there ...”
“Emmmmmmm,” I groan, slipping back to the name I’ve always called him. “We aren’t ... you know ... they aren’t courting me or anything like that. They’re just ... nice! I like helping Micah with his comic books—it gives me something to do other than therapy and studying. And Mason and Cabe, it’s not like I’ve really spent that much time with them. I just see them around sometimes when I’m with Micah. You know how I am with alphas right now.”
Em cringes at the reminder.
“But I’m okay around them! Just like Tanner and Lincoln! It feels safe to be around them, and that’s ... that’s nice. Not feeling so scared and being able to make friends.”
“They feel like Tanner and Lincoln to you?” he asks, looking a bit suspicious.
“Yeah. I mean ... yes,” I agree, stumbling a little. No need to examine that too closely.
We’re silent again for a few seconds, each of us staring at the other as I try to hold my ground.
“You know about courting?” Em finally asks.
“I mean, a little.” I shrug. “Mackenzie has told me a bit since she’s being courted right now.”
I know it’s a sore point, and I feel bad when I see my brother’s shoulders slump and the way his mouth goes tight.
“Right. Yeah. Of course,” he mutters. He sounds so dejected I almost wish I’d said nothing and just tried to suffer through hearing my brother explain the alpha-omega version of the birds and the bees.Almost.
“Okay. So ... super successful conversation. Yeah?”
“The best,” I agree sarcastically, burying my head in my arms so I don’t have to keep looking at him.
He chuckles, ruffling my hair as he stands up and clears away his food. Eventually, he goes to bed, and I retreat to my curtained corner, my flashcards trying—and failing—to keep me distracted from the conversation I just had.
* * *
The pack housingpart of campus looks a lot different on a Saturday than it did the last time I was here, during the week. Before, the lingering scent of unfamiliar alphas had me feeling all jumpy and panicked. Today I can actually see the alphas out and about, moving through the small cluster of houses. There’s nothing inherently aggressive or threatening about them, but they still have me on edge.
I see them moving around alone, in packs, and a few with their omegas. Probably just running errands, heading to the dining hall, going out to have fun ... Just doing normal, human things. I even spot two alphas tossing a football back and forth while a large dog bounds between them. Still, I find myself keeping to the very edge of the sidewalk and doing my best to surreptitiously keep my eyes on everyone.
“You okay?” Mackenzie asks, giving me a sympathetic frown. She had plans to see the pack courting her today, and she offered to walk with me to Micah, Mason, and Cabe’s place.
“Yep,” I nod, sparing her a quick glance before going back to tracking my surroundings. My palms are sweaty where I’m gripping the handles of my two large tote bags. “Just peachy.”
“If you want, we can call Micah and have him come meet us here so you don’t have to go the rest of the way alone,” she offers.
“No, no, we’re almost there. I can do this,” I reassure her. And I can. It’s just ... uncomfortable. “I know I’m, like, uniquely sensitive to this and all, but it really doesn’t bother you to be around so many alphas?” I ask, genuinely curious.
Mackenzie shrugs, but she thinks about it for a moment before replying. “Not really. I mean, yeah, there are a lot of scents here. But being outside helps. Makes it so I don’t feel all that trapped, you know. Plus, I’ve met a few of these packs before. At some of the pack council events. If it was dark out, I’d feel a lot different. Or if I were alone. Definitely don’t ever discount your instincts, Espy. I know plenty of omegas who only travel around with escorts. Everyone has different sensitivity levels, and frankly, safety is more important than independence in my opinion.”
“I guess I just wish I didn’t feel so close to a panic attack,” I mumble.
“We’ll just have to make sure those boys of yours walk you back home, won’t we?” she says with a wink, reaching out and squeezing my arm.
