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“Can’t let the boys see,” she giggles, angling her body to hide the Tupperware from the group in front of the TV. “I swear, alphas will gobble up everything in sight. When my older brother presented as an alpha, my parents had to set up a special cupboard with snacks that they kept under lock and key, just so the rest of us wouldn’t starve!”
“Good call,” I agree, quickly devouring half a square. “Oh,Dios mío, these are amazing!” Normally, I’d feel embarrassed at the animal sounds I’m making, but it’s beensoooooolong since I had a brownie that I can’t quite find the energy to care.
“I know, right? It’s my friend’s recipe. It’s her time of the month, and she swears she can’t function without a constant source of chocolate. I took a few of these off her hands as a safety precaution so she doesn’t overdose.”
“But what a way to go ...” I grin.
“True!” she laughs. “Can you imagine having to go through that every month? I swear, for all the things that suck about being an omega, at least we only go into heat occasionally.”
I tense up, the remaining brownie turning to ash in my mouth. I can tell Mackenzie realizes her mistake as well, and I catch her grimace of regret and pity before I look away.
“Hey, Esperanza, I’m so, so, so sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to make you feel unsafe or, like, remind you of what happened ... Leo only told me the basics of what you’ve been through, I’m just an idiot and I wasn’t thinking, but I would never make light of something so traumatizing—”
“It’s okay,” I mumble, summoning a weak smile as I cut off Mackenzie’s rambling. She seems super uncomfortable when I look back up at her, biting her lip and practically vibrating with nerves on the edge of her seat. I’m reminded suddenly that as an omega, her overabundance of empathy must be riding her hard right now. So I try again.
“Really. It’s okay.” I sit up straighter and meet her gaze. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it. It’s obviously a bit of a trigger for me, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me. To be honest, I’ve never been around another omega my age before. Or any omega really. Em and I grew up in a pretty small town, and practically everyone was a beta. Our school didn’t even have an official course on Principles of Dynamics, so most of what I know about being an omega comes from the media. Or from the doctrine my father tried to shove down my throat, but I hope to Gods he was wrong about all of that.”
I take a breath, realizing I’d gotten a little carried away and unintentionally heated. I notice Lincoln giving me a searching look from the couch and quickly avert my eyes.
“What I mean to say is that I could use some help.”
“You mean you could use an omega bestie? Gotcha covered!” Mackenzie chirps, darting away for a moment and then coming back with a blanket from the stack of bedding that I’d shoved into a corner earlier. My makeshift bed from sleeping on the couch. I just sit there, blinking, as she effortlessly wraps it around me in a practiced motion, pulling the material tight until I feel like a baby that’s been swaddled. “How’s that?”
“I can’t move!” I laugh, wriggling around a bit to demonstrate and nearly losing my balance.
“My mom used to do this for my sister and me when we got overstimulated as kids. I still love it. Makes me feel like I’m being hugged, ya know?”
“It’s pretty great,” I agree, allowing myself to settle into the feeling. It does feel calming, like all the nerve endings sending constant pings of anxiety to my brain have been smothered. Dulled. Though if I’m not careful, one wrong move will have me tumbling off this chair and landing on my face.
“So, everyone in your family is a beta?” she asks, settling back gracefully in her seat and grabbing another brownie.
“I think there might be some distant relatives who were non-beta, but I don’t really know. Maybe I was adopted. Or maybe my mom had an affair with someone sane,” I mutter, only half-joking.
It would be a comfort, honestly.
“Maybe,” Mackenzie concedes cautiously. “But it’s not crazy unusual for an alpha or omega to pop up out of nowhere in a beta family. There’s another omega here with a similar background that I met through O-Club.”
“O-Club?”
“It’s a student group for omegas here. You should totally join! I’m not super involved with them—some omegas around here treat it like a full-on sorority—but their socials can be fun, and they’ve brought some really interesting speakers to campus. They also hold joint events with the Pack Council every quarter or so. It can be a good place to safely meet some alphas if that’s your thing.
Despite it being decidedly NOT my thing right now, I find myself blushing.
“I don’t know all that much about pack culture,” I admit, wiggling around until I manage to free a hand from my blanket burrito so I can grab another brownie. “Em’s is the first pack I’ve been around. And, well, this is the most time I’ve spent around Tanner and Lincoln so far.”
“No need to rush finding a pack. You don’t ever need one, honestly. As omegas it tends to be in our nature to crave the pack structure and all the ...thingsan alpha can offer,”—she gives me a pointed smirk, and I blush again—“but everyone is different. Our ancestors fought for equality for all designations, and you’ll find most people here respect omegas’ rights. Bullshit extremist groups aside, of course,” she finishes with a frown.
I decide I don’t want to dwell on my father and the terrible company he kept.
“What about you? Do you have a pack? Is that the right terminology?” I ask. I know my brother admitted to having a crush on Mackenzie, but so far, I haven’t seen any indication that they’re actually dating.
“Um, not yet. But I am being courted,” she states, a bit shyly but with obvious excitement. “It’s new.”
“Is it this pack?” I ask, a sudden feeling of unease creeping into my gut. I can’t place why. She seems really great, and it would be cool to have her around more.
“No,” she replies, an odd look on her face that I can’t decipher. “These guys are great. Leo and I connected instantly in a class we shared last fall. Tanner and Lincoln are super great guys too, but they haven’t approached me, and I’m not exactly sure I get a ‘compatible pack’ vibe from them,” she admits, the strange look still firmly in place.
I’m not sure how exactly to feel about that information, so I simply nod and ask more questions.
