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Daddy walks over and starts hitting Mommy in her face. The whole time, I just hear Mommy saying she is sorry and she’ll do better and to please forgive her.
I sit there paralyzed, not knowing what to do. I want to protect Mommy, but I don’t know how. I know there is nothing I can do. Daddy is way stronger than me, and I’m just a five-year-old kid.
Daddy keeps attacking Mommy until Mommy isn’t talking anymore, and she just lies there.
“Maybe now you’ll listen, since you know the punishment,” Dad states, getting off the ground beside her. “Let this be a lesson to you as well to listen to me. This is what will happen if you do not listen or go against me. Ya hear me, boy?”
I nod my head, afraid to talk and say something to upset him and have him hurt me like Mommy.
“I can’t hear you, boy. Speak up.”
“Yes, sir,” I reply.
Daddy finally goes into the living room, and I go check on Mommy. She is still breathing, but she won’t wake up. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. Mommy always said to call 911, but I just have this gut feeling that if I do, it will make matters worse.
* * *
Screaming and punching the bag more times than I can count, I keep it up until I lose myself in my exhaustion and have no more strength to go on or think about the past.
I go sit down on the bench and grab a bottle of water that Kade left me. Boxing takes a lot out of me, but it’s a great tool for me. If Pete and Betty hadn’t started me off in classes when I was young, I probably would be in juvie. I started way too many fights in school. I had so much anger pent up inside of me.
Just like I do now, so I take it out on the bag until my muscles scream at me to stop, and then I push even further. I only stop when my mind blanks, when I hit that inner peace I desperately crave.
Before heading upstairs, I check the fridge for some more water and I see some leftovers with my name on it. God love P&B. They are always thinking of us, even when we aren’t around. I grab the leftovers, heat them up, head upstairs to eat, and then pass out.
CHAPTER12
PAISLEY
Waking up,I feel a different energy in the house. Normally, I feel choked or closed in. But now I feel like I can take a breath for the first time in years. These moments are few and far between and I relish every second I get of them.
Heading to the bathroom so I can get ready for school, I take a closer look at all of my bruises from the other night. Black and blue covers everywhere on my body that can be covered. It never gets old. One would think that I’d get used to the pain, since I’ve been a punching bag for my mom since Dad left.
I still don’t understand why Mom blames me for Dad leaving. I didn’t ask him to leave us. Leaveme.
* * *
Walking into the living room, I notice Mommy is home. Normally Daddy is the one I get to see when I get home from school. I always told him everything that happened that day. If I made any friends, if I was teased, or if I got any questions right in any of my classes.
That was my favorite part to tell him. He always praised me for being his smart little girl. But seeing Mommy confuses me, especially because she is crying.
Where is Daddy?
Mommy notices me then. She walks up to me, and then she does something she has never done before. She slaps me across the face.
I immediately grab my face and start crying.
“This is all your fault! He wouldn’t have wanted to leave me if you didn’t exist. You always were a mistake, and now I have to pay for it!”
Mommy tries to hit me again, but I run away from her this time. I run for the front door. I open it as fast as I can and run as fast as I can to the neighborhood park.
I sit on the swing and cry. I’m not even sure why I’m crying, but I cry until I can’t anymore.
Once it becomes dark, I head home.
I’m so scared to go home. What if Mommy hits me again?
I’m sure it was a mistake. She didn’t really mean to hit me. She was just upset.
