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I take a deep breath and circle my hands around Asya’s waist. It doesn’t matter what I promised. I can’t make myself do anything that may lead to triggering her trauma, even if it means going back on my word. Focusing on her face, I hook my fingers in the waistband of her sweatpants and start pulling them down, inch by agonizingly slow inch. If I notice even a speck of distress, we’re stopping. Then, I slide my palms up her legs, over her panties, and pull up on the hem of her top. She smiles and lifts her arms, shaking out her dark hair as the shirt comes free of her body. Unclasping the bra, Asya tosses it to the floor and stands in front of me, clad only in her panties. She tries to make herself look unfazed, but I see the restrained terror in her eyes. And also, the fierce determination to show me that she won’t cave, no matter what I say. I caress her face and lean forward until we’re nose to nose.
“You are the purest thing I’ve ever touched in my life,” I say holding her gaze, “and I will never, ever hurt you.”
“I know,” she utters, then places her palms over mine and lowers herself onto the bed, pulling me down with her.
“Grab my hair, mishka.”
Her right hand moves to the back of my head, fingers threading through the strands.
“Good. Now I need you to promise something,” I say.
“What?”
“Even the smallest discomfort, you pull, and I’ll stop.”
“I promise.”
I kiss her lips, along her chin, and down her neck. My cock is so hard it hurts, but I ignore it and continue peppering her body with kisses. Her small hand, arm, shoulder, across her collarbones to the other arm. I am going to erase every single evil touch she’s had on her skin with my lips. When I reach her panties, I halt for a moment, waiting to see if she’ll stop me. She doesn’t. I trail a line of kisses from her midriff down, over her still-covered pussy, and back up to her stomach. Asya’s free hand slides to the lacy material and pushes it down. I drop a kiss on the back of her hand, then take the sides of her panties and slowly pull them off.
“I will never hurt you.” I lean forward and capture her slightly trembling lips with my own. “Hair, baby.”
She takes a deep breath and takes a hold of my hair again.
“Never,” I repeat, leaving a path of kisses from her neck all the way to her sex.
When I slide my tongue over her pussy, Asya’s breathing picks up. I keep licking, then add my thumb and start massaging her clit. A small sound of pleasure leaves her lips, and I feel her wetness on my face. I quicken my licks and keep teasing her with my finger until I’m sure she’s close, and then I suck on her clit. Asya arches her back and moans while the tremors pass through her body. Carefully, I lower myself over her, but keep most of my weight on my elbows. Her eyes flutter open, and our gazes connect.
“Yes,” she answers my unspoken question and widens her legs a bit more.
I position my cock at her entrance, then slowly begin sliding inside. It’s hard to hold back because the need to lose myself within her is overwhelming, but I keep my pace steady, half an inch at a time. And I don’t break our eye contact the entire time.
Her breaths are coming fast, and her eyes are wide, but her grip on my hair doesn’t waver. Once I’m fully inside, she gasps, her lips spreading into a smile. And then, the hold on my hair loosens and vanishes completely.
“Now, I need you to keep your promise,” she says and kisses the side of my jaw. “I need you to treat me as if I’m not broken.”
“You are you, mishka.” I pull out, pause, and slowly slide back in. “Absolutely perfect . . .” I retreat, then slide inside again, but a little faster. “Just the way you are.”
It’s almost impossible to restrain my impulses, but I rein myself in and adjust the tempo so it builds slowly, making every thrust just a little bit faster and harder than the previous one. Asya’s legs wrap around me, and she tilts her chin up, staring into my eyes.
“Prove it to me,” she digs her nails into the skin of my arms. “Give me everything.”
My control snaps in an instant. I bury myself in her to the hilt. Her body starts trembling under me.
“More,” she chokes out.
I pull out and immediately thrust back inside, bottoming out in her heat.
“Faster!”
Grabbing the back of her neck, I pound into her—fast and hard—the sight of her flushed face etched forever on my mind. The bedframe creaks beneath us. I hook my fingers behind her knee, raising her leg and opening her more so I can slide in deeper. Asya’s hands squeeze my arms, then move up to wrap behind my neck, pulling my head down for a kiss. I consume her lips like a starved man, taking more and more while rocking into her.
A moan escapes from Asya’s delicate throat. I pull out completely and just watch her for a moment before slamming back inside. Her pussy spasms around my cock while her hot breath fans my face. She cries out as she comes. Hearing the sounds of her pleasure and seeing her come apart under me sends a jolt to my system, and I explode with a groan the very next moment.
I’m in the room with the red drapes again. The heavy scent of male cologne clings to the air. My hands are tied to the headboard, and a huge male body looms above. Droplets of stinky sweat fall from his forehead onto my breasts. Pain spreads through my whole being as he thrusts into me again and again. I scream.
“Shh. It’s just a dream,” Pasha’s deep voice says into my ear. “You’re safe.”
The panic recedes and extinguishes completely when he pulls me closer toward him, wrapping his arm tightly around my waist. I don’t have nightmares that often anymore, but when I do, they are bad.
