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She swallows and pulls her head away from his fingers so she can look down. That’s exactly what she wants.
“I’ve told you before—I’m not a monster.” He sighs and loops his arms loosely around her body. She feels so incredibly good against him. Always has. Right, even though she shouldn’t.
“Why are you like this?” she asks, still not looking at him.
“Like what?”
“Gentle. I know you hate me. I—” Her hand goes to her chest, to the tether of their bond, but he knows the seething resentment she refers to is pointedly absent. She frowns when she realizes, alarm spreading on her tear-streaked face.
“Tell me what happened when AX1 escaped,” he says.
She darts a look at him. Then she swallows hard. “You protected me.” Her voice is hoarse. “You were… new. A couple of days old. Still hadn’t adjusted to your new existence. Barely healed from the last round of implants. You fought me so hard, and I… punished you severely. Repeatedly.
“But when he burst into the lab, you didn’t hesitate for a second. You stopped him from getting to me. And when he told you to get out of the way, that he was going to kill me so you could both be free, you…”
“I what?”
She looks down, but he grips her chin and turns her face up to catch his eyes again.
“I what, Adelaide?”
“You said he would have to kill you first. He… stopped. Looked at you. Then he…offered to take your life. Said it would be a mercy. You told him to get out and never come back. And he did.”
He sighs. “And then what?”
She’s silent for a long while, but he doesn’t let her look away.
Eventually, she whispers, “I asked you why you did that. You said… you would protect your mate to ‘the grave and beyond.’”
He gives her a wry smile and brushes his thumb over her bottom lip before leaning his head back against the door.
“It doesn’t mean anything. You were confused—your instincts were still raw from the procedures.” Despite her shaken state, there is obstinate resolve in her voice.
He chuffs a laugh.
“Why are youlaughing?”she asks, the anger in her voice reminding him of all the times she put him in his place. Forced him to comply. And how all he could think about in those moments was grabbing her by the neck and… Well, not killing her, as the time he pinned her in this very lab proved.
“I am laughing because you are an incredibly brilliant scientist, yet you can’t accept the most basic of biological facts.” His amusement fades as he takes in her expression; old fear that has little to do with him dances in her gray eyes. “Who did this to you?”
She shudders, eyelashes fanning down. “Did what?”
“You weren’t born like this,” he says quietly. His fingertips ache to run over her scalp, her cheek, but he resists. “You didn’t grow into a woman who sees men as machines and tortures them into obedience on your own.”
She stiffens, a muscle in her jaw jumping. “This was my doing. No one else’s.”
“You found your Fated mate, and your response was to reset my brain and torture me until I felt nothing but hatred. Something happened to you. I want to know who did it.”
“Don’t use that word,” she hisses, still not looking at him. “We’re not—that’s not what this is.”
He sighs and wraps a hand around the back of her neck. When her eyes finally dart to his, he holds her gaze. “If it wasn’t, I would have killed you when I had the chance. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have made me forget protecting you. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have ached for you every second of every day.
“Weare.There is nothing you can do to change that. You tried. You failed. Fighting it will bring nothing but more pain.”
“No,”she croaks. “We’re not. I’d rather pain.”
He sees the truth in her beautiful, frightened eyes. Her terror at the thought of surrendering to the truth. She tormented him because she’d rather die than let anyone that close. And if he hadn’t been forced to hate her, he’d have realized what they were much, much sooner. But nothing will come from pushing her. Not tonight. Perhaps if she’d been undamaged, he’d have put her on her back and reminded her of how it can feel when she surrenders to him.
“I’m not going to give you pain,” he simply says.
