AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Stupid girl, what did you expect?
I decided not to let it get me down. I have to accept his decision. Tucker has made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t need me. He needs to fight his own demons, grieve…away from me.
I throw back my covers and get out of bed. It’s over, I have to pull myself together and move on. I don’t have the right to mope. The shower I take does me a world of good. It clears my head and allows me to finally think about something else.
A few minutes later, I leave my apartment, my hair still wet. It’s time for a new day. Everything is going to be fine. I take a deep breath, clutching my car keys in my hand.
Everything is going to be okay.
The following hours pass before my eyes. I’m a spectator of my own life. I smile at those who say hello to me and take notes in my cognitive psychology class like a perfect little student. But inside me, it’s a big mess. Everything is not going well at all. I can’t wait for this damn class to end so I can get the hell out.
Twenty minutes later, my ordeal ends. I am one of the first to leave the lecture hall. I take a deep breath as I walk down the hallway filled with hungry students. I walk quickly, eager to leave.
“Iris!”
I stop and half turn, watching Yeleen come to me. She gives me a slight, uncertain smile.
“Hi…”
“Hum, hi,” I just say back to her.
“I tried to reach you yesterday…”
“Yeah, sorry, My phone died.”
She nods at my lie, as if she understands me. As if she understands my need to withdraw into myself, to push everything and everyone away to avoid facing this shitty reality.
“Are you okay?” she asks me softly, putting back a lock of her hair.
So I understand. She knows.
My look must speak for me because she doesn’t give me a chance to answer. “I stopped by Tucker’s house a few days ago. I still hadn’t heard from him so I dropped by. He was…bad. Really bad. In between a couple of incoherent words, he told me that he dumped you. I’m sorry.”
I’m having trouble swallowing. “It’s okay, Yeleen. I’m okay. He needs to grieve on his own.”
Again, she doesn’t seem to believe my lie, but she gets over it.
“He’s being a jerk,” she finally says. “He pushed you away because that’s what he does best, Iris. He lost the person he loved most in the world. He pushed you away because he loves you but he doesn’t think he deserves to be happy. That he doesn’t deserve his happiness with you.”
“Is that what he told you?”
“It’s Tucker…he didn’t tell me, but I saw it in his eyes, Iris. He needs you. He’s just too stupid to realize it. And I hope he gets his fingers out before it’s too late.”
“It’s already too late,” I mutter through my teeth. “I wanted to show him I was there for him, but he pushed me away like a piece of shit, Yeleen. I’m not going to cry for crumbs. I accept his decision. I have suffered too much in the past, I don’t want to suffer in the future, understand?”
Yeleen doesn’t answer me. A small grimace appears on her face. She stretches her hand towards me for a second before letting it fall along her body.
“I’m here for you, like you were for me, Iris. Know that.”
I nod but don’t answer. I’m about to walk away but Yeleen adds, “Matt’s in the hospital.”
Her words stop me in my tracks. “What?”
Yeleen shrugs.
“Who sent that piece of garbage there?”
She doesn’t answer me. I feel that she is keeping a secret. That she knows the truth. Eventually she says, “I think he…fell down the stairs.”
