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Their reward. I hope she was not implying what I thought she was because it filled me with the great need to go kill Aleksei Smirnoff right fucking now. I could feel all my blood boiling with anger. “What do you mean?” I asked with a stern voice. I couldn’t help it. I needed her to tell me I was wrong.
I could tell that made her uncomfortable, but she answered anyway. “They, of course, get money and other things too, but I am also a part of the deal. They get to have me.”
“He shares you with his friends?” I thought Aleksei Smirnoff had an unhealthy obsession with Kira. What he did was fucking awful, but I thought his reason was he felt the same way I did about her. I thought he was filled with the need to have Kira Kozlov. But that was not it.
I already learned that he was not kind to her. He didn’t even treat her like a human being, but even in his sick head, I couldn’t understand how he was not possessive over her? I thought he did everything because he wanted to own her. He was really letting his friends touch her.
No, that was not the right word. He was making his friendsrapeher.
I really should have taken her myself eight years ago. I should have fucking made sure she was safe before all this happened.
I wanted to pull my hair off of my head, but I tried to keep my calm. I didn’t want to make her more anxious. I could tell it was not easy for her to tell me these.
Kira nodded to my question and kept eating her sandwich. Her eyes were shining with tears. I hated how many times I brought tears into those eyes in a very short time. My sins were getting more and more, but in the end, I was going to pay them all.
“You have to focus on them,” Kira said after a few more bites and unshed tears. “One is Kirill Nikolayev, his brother-in-law. Another is Fedor Smirnoff, his cousin. And his Consigliere Ivan Borisyuk.”
A shiver went down her spine when she told the last name. I didn’t know Ivan Borisyuk well, but I was sure even if I did, I wouldn’t know him the way Kira did. “You were with him the night I took you, right?”
She nodded and ate the last piece of her sandwich. Mine was untouched, so I pushed the plate towards her. Kira looked unsure for a second, but I pushed it more, so she took it, murmuring, “Thanks.” After taking one bite from it, she spoke, “Yes. Aleksei didn’t want me to be alone in case I tried to kill myself. When he was busy, I usually had Anya with me; she was like my maid. He said that Anya was busy and Ivan was going to take me out. He sometimes does that before…”
“You don’t have to explain,” I say quickly.
She nodded, and a tear rolled down her pale cheek. “Ivan is the worst.”
Good to know.
I brushed away her tear, and she gave me a small smile. “When I am not there, it is going to cause tension between them. You can use it. You can ruin all of them.”
I nodded, slowly caressing her cheek with my thumb. “I will.”I fucking will.
Chapter 7
Kira
After breakfast, Gabriele left. When he first told me, my heart shattered, and I thought over our conversation, trying to find what I did wrong. It was an old habit. If I was not good enough, I would get left alone.
He must have seen it on my face because he cupped my cheek and assured me, “I just need to plan what I am going to do. I will be back.” He also changed my bandages before leaving. I couldn’t even look at the stitches. Despite what people might think, I didn’t have a strong stomach for these things. I just sat on the bathroom counter and let Gabriele took care of me.
I only watched his soft eyes as he carefully worked. He was so soft, so tender. It made my heart ache.
When he left, it ached even more.
I was pathetic for acting like the helpless fourteen-year-old girl I was twelve years ago, but I couldn’t help it. I never saw myself as strong anyway. I wanted Gabriele to be my salvation. I wanted him to ruin my torturers and then set me free. I wanted him to be different than Aleksei. And I felt that he was when he assured me and when he so softly brushed my bandaged wrist with pain in his eyes.
He was even scared of touching me.
A memory came to me. After I told Gabriele what happened when Aleksei first took me, I couldn’t help but remember everything he did to me, but some memories were brighter than others. Some memories were blurred by alcohol because Kirill said I was more fun drunk, and some were blurred with coke because Fedor said it was easier to handle me when I was high. Ivan’s memories were always so bright, so horrible.
I had more memories with Aleksei, and for some reason, the earlier ones were more prominent in my brain. I could remember the times I actually believed he loved me very much.
The night of my first time came to my mind. In the media, they showed losing your virginity like a magical thing. I was not very knowledgeable about sex at fourteen, but I wanted that magic. I wanted a man to make love to me.
Aleksei first asked to kiss me, and I said yes to him. After he tried to put my hand to his cock. I remembered being scared by it. It was too bold for me. Too much. When I pulled back, he told me it was okay but then left me in that mansion alone for a week. I remembered feeling so bored and alone.
I was terrified.
After a week, he came back with apologies and gifts. I was so happy because he was back. We had a great meal and then we sat down to watch a movie. Funny, I didn’t remember what movie it was, but I remembered what happened. Halfway through the film, he started kissing me. I didn’t like his kisses. They were not soft and sweet; he was always so rushed, so hungry. I didn’t push him away, though. I had missed him too much.
