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“That would be stressful.” But as long as they didn’t start World War III, they’d probably get a lot done?
Maybe not.
“What…” Oh, was I really going to ask this? “How would it…I mean, is it just…”
Shit.
As I started to realize what an idiot I must sound like, Bex squeezed my hand again. “Deep breath, boy.”
The firm order was quietly delivered but left no room in my head to ignore it. As I obeyed and felt slightly more relaxed, I realized Bex’s serious expression meant I hadn’t sounded like too much of a moron.
“I want you to try to get the question out again. If you can’t, then I’ll do my best to answer what I think you’re asking me.” As he mimed taking another deep breath, I followed the unspoken order and his fingers went back to petting my hand. “Good boy. Now just try for me. That’s all I’ll ask.”
There was an insistent voice in the back of my head that said I shouldn’t like how that sounded but I did my best to ignore it.
The damned thing seemed to be wrong on every aspect of BDSM, so it really wasn’t helpful.
“My brain keeps jumping around.” Hoping he understood, I tried again. “I think I understand what pups do.”
Mostly?
“I just…I’m not sure I understand what you mean when you talk about the rest of the submission part.” Shit. Had that come out as a real question?
I’d been so focused on each word, I wasn’t sure.
Had it even made sense?
Fuck.
Trying again, or maybe just rambling, I got the rest out before Bex decided that I couldn’t do it on my own. “How would that look? I mean, at the beginning during dating and…and later.”
Had that been any better?
It felt like it’d been clearer, and I had to admit that being worried about sounding stupid made it easier to ask the completely inappropriate question.
Not that Bex seemed to think it was anything but perfectly normal. He even nodded and looked thoughtful.
“Submission will look different between each couple.” He paused and his tight brows gave me the impression he wanted to see that I understood what he was saying.
I didn’t and that must’ve shown based on how the rest of his explanation went.
“Just to make it clear, no one I know in a relationship that would be labeled as one with a Dom and a sub does it the same way.” He gave me a soft smile as he started to pet my hand again. “It’s like a cake. There’s no one perfect recipe or perfect flavor.”
He was so cute.
Okay, that made sense.
“Some relationships just have more ingredients?” My question had his smile getting brighter.
“Exactly.” Something I’d said or maybe my reaction had him looking more confident, and naughtier, because there was definitely something sexy to his smile at that point. “To begin with, we’d look at what you wanted to explore while we were in the dating and figuring things out phase. Some things like kneeling you might like and some things like being spanked might not be an activity that turns you on.”
Oops.
I shivered.
And must’ve blushed again.
Damn it.
The twinkle in his eyes and the way his lips faintly turned up at the corners said he’d guessed I might’ve been just a bit curious about that part of things, but he was sweet and pretended not to notice.
“We’d talk about your limits to start and what mine are. If you’re comfortable with talking about it, then maybe we go over some lists together.” That idea had me pulling a face before I could control myself, and as he laughed, he shook his head like I was cute. “If you’re not quite at that point yet, maybe you’d tell me a book you like and I’ll read that to give me a starting point.”
Trying to look confident, I sat straighter and nodded. “I’ve seen lists online…but…but I think the book idea has merit.”
Then I wouldn’t have to explain that I liked the soft Doms in books, not the stressful ones. I wasn’t sure I had the vocabulary to make that clear without looking like an idiot.
“That’s great.” Bex’s beaming smile made me want to blush again even though I wasn’t sure why. “I’m proud of you for explaining that.”
That was why he made me blush.
“Thank you.” My face wasn’t at the painful level yet, but I knew if he kept saying such nice things, we’d get there quicker than I wanted. “Um, would…would going slow be…I’m not sure what I’d be comfortable with…”
Oh, that hadn’t come out as smoothly as it’d sounded in my head.
There was no point in denying to myself or Bex that I wanted to at least test out the submission side of things, and we both knew I had questions about the puppy stuff. We were at the point where denying that would be stupid.
