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We’d finally hit the point where his blush came back, but he didn’t use his safeword. His poor lip was getting tortured, though. If it weren’t for the shiver that raced through him, I might’ve stopped there to give him a chance to relax.
“I like rewarding good pups and I like cuddling them. I’m flexible about everything else.” I wasn’t a Handler who had a long list of must-haves in a relationship. “So if the pup I was getting to know liked playing ball, we could do that. If he wanted to just snuggle and get lots of attention, that would be fine with me too.”
There were a lot of different ways to approach being a pup and no one right way to explore it, and I hoped he understood that. If I knew what he’d been exploring online, it would’ve been easier but I wasn’t sure he was up to that level of conversation yet.
One step at a time.
“I stopped…let’s call it my mental wandering right about there.” His blush came back when his mind filled in the word fantasy or something close to it. “I decided I would try to behave even though you make it hard.”
Literally and figuratively.
His face went fire engine red that time, though nothing gave me the impression my teasing had been too much for my nervous cutie…but it also didn’t tell me where to take our conversation next.
I wasn’t sure what he was thinking or if I should change the topic, but after a moment, he took a deep breath and did his wiggle to sit straighter. “I wasn’t sure if you could see me like that. I…I have a hard time gaging your reactions to…to that kind of thing.”
I wasn’t sure I knew what he was trying to say.
Did that kind of thing mean he wasn’t sure if I could see him as a pup or was it something about just seeing him as a potential partner in general? With him already being so brave, I wasn’t sure it was the time for questions, so I tried to be as honest as I could and hoped I answered what he wanted to know.
“From the first time I met you, Payton, I saw a sexy man I wanted to wrap my arms around, a curious sub who I knew would look beautiful kneeling for me, and a guy that I simply wanted to get to know better.” Taking a chance, I reached out and stroked my fingers over the back of his hand.
Just the faint caress had a shiver running through him and I could feel his nervous desire radiating from him as my finger traced over each vein and knuckle. “I can picture you submitting sweetly for me. I can picture you as the cutest pup, and I can picture you curling up in my arms after a wonderful first date.”
It didn’t seem like his face would ever go back to its normal color but that seemed to be a good thing. Even though I could feel his nerves and desire warring inside of him, he didn’t pull away. He also didn’t say anything for several long moments.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” The softly whispered words didn’t give me as much information as he seemed to think they would.
Trying to look like the confident Dom he seemed to think could read his mind, I kept caressing his hand and tried to decide what to say to his sweet and slightly vague response. “You don’t have to. We’ll take this one step at a time. I’d like to take you on a date and I’d like to answer more of your questions when you’re ready. I think that’d be a good place to start.”
Hopefully, he would as well.
Chapter 6
Payton
“You listed off being submissive and being a pup as two different things.” My only excuse for the ridiculous response was that my brain had been going in so many different directions I’d lost too many pieces of it to think straight.
I couldn’t even decide if it should’ve been a question but Bex was wonderful and didn’t laugh as he took the sentence seriously. “Yes, they’re two different things to me even though as a pup you’d probably still be a submissive.”
Oh, because some of the pups online hadn’t been submissive.
That made sense.
Kind of.
“I don’t think I’m…” The words got stuck, so I tried again. “I don’t think I’d ever be dominant in any way. I’m not…I’m just…”
Bex’s hand tightened around mine and he gave me a serious look. “You understand being a sub and being a Dom are two sides of the same coin, right? Neither one is better than the other and they can’t work alone. A society of all Doms would be a pain in the ass to deal with.”
Hmm, that wasn’t a bad point.
