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‘I’ll never hate you, Finn. Ever. Nor will I blame you. You need to accept that.’
For an infinitesimal moment he simply stared at her. His expression was pinched with pain, but it was the intense flare in his cerulean eyes that lifted her spirits. Hope was reflected there...faith that slowly diminished as if the lights were going out in his soul.
‘Serena, don’t you see what you’re doing? You’re allowing good sex to drive your emotions and cloud your judgement. Already you’ve forgotten that I’ve lied to you for months.’
Unwilling even to consider how easily incredible sex could be downgraded to ‘good’ within hours—she wasn’t ready for that reality just yet—she felt a burst of unease fire through her stomach. Nothing had been forgotten. But some sixth sense beat an ominous warning that his answers would never suffice. Only hurt. Badly.
Ignoring the tumultuous roil inside her, she lifted her chin. ‘First off, don’t speak to me like I’m some female and I don’t know my own mind. I promise you it’s not misted by desire up there. But maybe now is a good time to tell me why. Why you lied to me. Why, almost a year later, I would still be in the dark if I hadn’t walked in on you tonight.’
The more she considered it, the more bewildered she became. And, if she were honest, there was a good dose of humiliation in there at her naïvety too. Once again she’d fallen into the hands of deceit, and the fact that those hands belonged to Finn was a bitter pill to swallow.
Finn flung the double doors wide, inviting the bite of British morning air to swirl around her ankles. Then he braced his hands on the overhead frame and looked out onto the green acreage surrounding the Country Club, the golden wash of dawn warming his pale complexion.
‘Fact is Tom’s drowning ruffled the rogue guard and he tipped off the Singapore police to my whereabouts.’
It wasn’t difficult to comprehend the acrid tinge to his dark voice—Tom’s death had likely saved Finn from a worse fate and that was anathema to him.
‘The brains behind the operation disappeared—the ransom too, through laundering. There have been a few leads but it’s slow going. We didn’t want you in any danger, getting caught up in the ongoing investigation. I suggested you were told the same story as everyone else. Your dad agreed. He didn’t want you hurting any more than you already were.’
‘Wow, tough love must have gone by the wayside that day.’ Then again, Michael Scott couldn’t handle her at the best of times. Showing his love didn’t come naturally or easily.
‘Plus,’ he began warily, his arms plunging to his sides, ‘I kind of promised Tom I would look out for you. Make sure you didn’t go looking for blood.’
The rush of anger drained away as quickly as it had come, leaving a numb sensation bleeding into every inch of her. Yeah, that was exactly what Tom would have done. But that wasn’t the reason she crossed her arms over her chest to calm the dark storm brewing behind her ribs.
‘Would this promise to look out for me be the reason you offered to be my friend weeks ago?’ Say no. Say no.
Keeping his gaze averted, he shoved his hands into deep denim pockets. ‘You could say that, yes.’
Whack. His words punched her midriff, making her flinch. ‘That’s very...noble of you, Finn.’ Was that really her voice? That cracked melody of sarcasm and bitterness? A portrayal of a heart betrayed.
There she’d been, blissfully ignorant, revelling in the idea that he wanted to spend time with her. God, she’d even luxuriated in the way his guilt had eased, making him more content—had rejoiced in the sanguine expectation that she was the reason for it. And all the while he’d been keeping a promise. While she could grasp his need to, as far as she was concerned as soon as their friendship had developed into more they’d gone way beyond that. Why not just tell her before they slept together? It felt like dishonesty.
‘You know what really gets to me?’ she said, pleading with her strength not to abandon her now. ‘Every day you omitted to tell me the truth, and every night I came closer to...’ To falling for you. ‘To trusting you. To sharing your bed. How could you do that, Finn? Lie with me...’ Make love to me with such intensity. ‘While keeping something so huge, so important to me a secret?’ Give me a good reason, please.
When he finally turned to face her, one corner of his mouth lifted ruefully. ‘I’ve never pretended to be a saint, Serena. The sinner in me simply couldn’t resist you.’
Their eyes caught...held...and she told herself she was misreading the fierce fervour in his gaze. That all along she’d imagined the emotional pull. If he’d felt more for her he would have had the decency to tell her the truth well before he’d taken her body. What had you been secretly hoping for, Serena? That he was falling like you were? You’re a fool.
