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The space behind her ribs inflated with his pain and her stomach gave a sickening twist. Because it was sick. Twisted. Perverted. ‘Oh, Finn.’ What a decision to have to make. It must have been torture for him—for them both.
‘They knew fine and well he was my weakness, and I couldn’t stand the lack of control.’ With a rueful shake of his head he glanced towards the wide double doors leading to the balcony, where the strokes of dawn painted the sky in amber and gold. As if he searched for peace and beauty in the midst of such horror. ‘To wrench some of it back I threw more money in the pot, and within two hours sixty million had been transferred from my Swiss bank account into one on the Cayman Islands.’
Self-derision twisted his full lips and her back crushed the downy cushions as she braced herself.
‘It was a long shot, so I wasn’t particularly surprised when two days later we were moved to an abandoned liner off the coast. I knew then we weren’t getting out of there alive.’ He jabbed his fingers through his hair. ‘Tom was getting weak, losing his will. I got desperate. Bribed one of the guards to get him out. He could only take one of us for risk of getting caught. I didn’t bother telling Tom. Didn’t want him objecting to leaving me behind. He was an honourable kid.’
His voice cracked and the fissure streaked through her heart.
‘Courageous too. You’d have been proud of him, Serena.’
Her trembling fingers slapped over her mouth to capture the sob that gathered force in her chest and burned the base of her throat. After all they’d been through together she was not going to break in front of Finn. She was not going to be weak.
‘Next night, as planned, the guard smuggled him out. Whether he was anxious to get back before his absence was noticed or whether there was a struggle, I don’t know, but he decided to drop him close to the port...’
His devastating gaze locked on hers, filled with pain, such heart-wrenching pain, that she sank her blunt nails into her palms, trying to stay motionless...
‘So he could swim the half-mile to the shore.’
‘Oh, no,’ she breathed.
‘Serena, I didn’t know—or I would’ve warned the guard. I didn’t know he could barely swim and I sent him to his death.’
The walls of her chest clamped vice-like as she shook with the effort not to crack. She had to stay strong for both of them. It was all so tragic. So heartbreakingly unfair.
Swallowing thickly, she prayed her voice wouldn’t rupture. ‘You couldn’t have known unless he’d told you. He was really embarrassed about it.’
He’d been petrified of deep water too, but there was no way she was telling Finn that; he had enough to carry on his conscience. Oh, Tom, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.
Back she went, hurtling towards the emotional precipice, her eyes pooling with moisture. God, how did she make them stop? Averting her face, she blinked rapidly as her defences began to splinter.
Apparently she wasn’t the only one, because in a flash Finn was striding across the floor and plunging to his knees in front of her. Her Finn.
Moving in between her legs, he brushed a lock of hair from her temple in a tender graze and pressed his lips to her cheek. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. So sorry I took him from you.’
The sound of his voice, so broken and desolate, slapped some strength into her spine and she cupped his face with a firm, warm touch and hardened her voice.
‘You didn’t take him from me. They took him from me. It was not your fault.’
‘How can you say that? I am the sole reason he is gone. They wanted my money, Serena.’
‘No. If that were true they would have taken just you. They saw an opportunity and they took it. Don’t you see? You were both in the wrong place at the wrong time.’
His jaw tight enough to crack a filling, he frowned deeply. ‘I sent him out there.’
‘You were trying to save his life. It was a tragedy borne from their actions, not yours.’
A sense of déjà vu flirted with her mind. How many times had someone said that to her after the attack? Yet had she ever truly believed them? No. Since Finn had come into her world she’d realised her life was built on shaky foundations and she’d never truly moved on.
She didn’t want that for him. To be trapped in some kind of stasis, haunted by the past.
She swept his damp hair back from his brow and his eyelids grew heavy. ‘This is going to ruin you, Finn. This guilt that is driving you. I want it to stop. Tom wouldn’t want this.’
Finn’s frustration ignited and he jerked from her grasp, bolted to his feet and veered away from her. ‘That’s your emotions talking after sharing a bed with a born seducer. Sooner or later it will pass and you’ll blame me—hate me as you should.’
