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And then I felt her squeeze my finger and knew without words that she was coming on my face.
Oh, fuck yes.
That was it for me.
I moved up instantly and braced myself over her, staring deeply into her eyes. She stared back, her gaze still heavy with arousal, and whatever she saw in my eyes had her placing her hand on my cheek. That was when I noticed my hand shook a little when I placed it on her legs, and she released my buckle. I was shaking. My entire body was shaking, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
“I need to be inside you, baby,” I choked out in a voice I didn’t recognize. “I need to be inside you, or I’ll lose it.”
She nodded as though she understood, and I felt her palm slipping into my trousers and grasping my cock. A guttural groan tore out of my chest.
“You’re so big,” she murmured as she guided me to her wet heat. It was all too much at that point. Her touch, her scent, her voice filled with wonder…I pushed her legs wider apart and fit myself against her entrance, using every shred of control I had left to keep from rutting into her like an animal. Instead, I went slow, torturously slow, while desire roared in my ears, and her face went slack once again with mind-numbing lust and ecstasy.
I buried my head against her neck, feeling like my entire being was on the cusp of something explosive.
This wasn’t just sex.
This wasn’t just fucking.
Something was shifting inside me, especially when I leaned back to stare into her eyes as she stared back at me.
And then she did something so simple that it set me ablaze immediately. She leaned up and kissed me.
I came with my tongue in her mouth and my heart shaking in my chest.
* * *
After,we were both silent for seconds. I wasn’t sure what to do because my mind was flying in a few different ways. But there was also an edge of something else I hadn’t felt before.
Panic.
I couldn’t explain what happened here a few minutes ago—that uncontrollable, incredible sex. No, not just sex. It was more than sex. And it was fucking with my mind.
I got up and instantly began putting on my shirt.
“Where are you going?” Her voice was light and quiet.
“Home,” I replied, trying to keep my voice stable. I shot her a wink, but there was no humor inside me. Still, I tried to be casual.
“I have a lot of work to do tomorrow, and I have to get to the office early to do it. You have the drafts nearly completed, right?”
Her expression shifted slightly, but she nodded.
“Good. I’ll need them tomorrow.”
And then I left the room like hell was on my heels.
The minute I got outside, the breeze hit me, and hollowness instantly filled my chest. I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I do that?
I ran my hand over my face, feeling like the heel of the earth.
I was scared, I realized. She’d made me feel something I had never felt before, and I was terrified by it.
And then I’d treated the mother of my child like a whore.
Great going, Nick.
