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“If you checked every safe area, you’d never get anywhere. I assume that’s why you didn’t check it?”
“Yeah,” Alex admitted reluctantly. “Still, they’re dead and that’s on me.”
She braced herself for arguments. Her therapist had spent hours arguing with her on this, and Alex had all of her counters ready, but it turned out she didn’t need them.
“I’m sorry you feel that way. It must be really hard, living with all that guilt over their deaths.”
Alex nodded, giving in to her battle against tears. “I just miss them so much. They were my family just as much as James is, and they’re all gone.” A harsh sob was torn from her throat.
“I know, I know. It’s not fair,” Elizabeth crooned, rocking her gently. Alex scrambled to get herself under control, but Elizabeth seemed in no hurry. She continued to murmur soft words of comfort, stroking Alex’s hair until her breathing calmed. Alex could feel Elizabeth’s large breasts pressing through the thin satin nightgown into her body.
Fuck, I want her so much.
“I’m sorry,” Alex muttered, pulling away. “That was entirely inappropriate.”
“I want to know when you’re in pain, Alex. I know we’ve had a rocky start, but I’m not heartless. I got into this line of work because I hate to see people suffer, and that includes you. If there’s anything I can do to help, you have but to ask.”
Alex knew it would be weakness to ask, but she was feeling open and vulnerable right now, and Elizabeth was offering…
“Stay with me until I fall asleep again?”
“Of course.”
Alex finally looked up at Elizabeth and realized how close their faces were. All thoughts of why this was a bad idea fled her mind as desire overwhelmed her. She leaned in close and pressed their lips together.
Elizabeth didn’t pull away as Alex expected, instead, she returned the kiss, soft and slow and gentle. It was perfect and exactly what Alex needed—human connection when she was feeling her most vulnerable.
Her shaky feelings of grief were quickly fading as she explored Elizabeth’s lips. Elizabeth tasted delicious. Alex wanted to taste all of her. She wanted—
“No,” Alex gasped, pulling back. “We shouldn’t. This is a bad idea.”
Elizabeth was silent for a long moment. “You’re probably right. Get some sleep, Alex.”
Alex expected Elizabeth to leave, but Elizabeth simply kissed the top of her head and pulled the blankets up around her. Alex slid down so that she was lying on her side, facing away from Elizabeth, who ran a gentle hand over her back in circles under the covers.
Alex couldn’t believe what she’d just done.
After promising herself she’d do no such thing, she’d just kissed her client. Elizabeth had been more than understanding about it when she could have fired Alex on the spot.
Was Elizabeth even attracted to women? The way she returned the kiss seemed to indicate that she was, but that was the least of Alex’s concerns right now. She needed to think about her job and her career.
If she lost this job for taking unwanted liberties with a client, she’d be wasting this second chance she’d gotten.
No, she couldn’t kiss Elizabeth, no matter how much she might want to. It would just complicate things even further, and they couldn’t afford to have things more complicated between them.
Alex knew she was skating a thin line as it was. She hadn’t anticipated this when she had taken Elizabeth on as a client. She had assumed that Elizabeth would simply do as Alex suggested, but she hadn’t counted on someone as stubborn and passionate as Elizabeth was.
It was infuriating to know that Elizabeth was putting herself in danger on Alex’s watch, but she knew that if she kicked up too much of a fuss, Elizabeth could easily replace her with any number of more compliant bodyguards.
Though if she didn’t try hard enough to convince Elizabeth to do the sensible thing and something happened, Alex would never forgive herself. Not only would it destroy the great potential boost this job was giving her career, but Elizabeth would be dead.
Elizabeth may be infuriating, but Alex couldn’t deny her effectiveness, nor her necessity. The LGBT+ community needed someone like her fighting for them.
Alex was grateful for the work Elizabeth did. She was openly out and had been for many years now. She’d faced her fair share of discrimination and knew firsthand just how needed the laws Elizabeth was fighting were.
For many reasons, Alex needed to keep Elizabeth alive. To do that, she needed to keep her emotions under control. It was just so difficult when every time she saw Elizabeth doing something stupidly risky, all she could think of was her unit dying when they weren’t even doing anything dangerous. How much worse were Elizabeth’s chances?
To say it put her in a foul mood was an understatement. Having those memories bubbling just beneath the surface made her irascible and unpleasant to be around. Alex recognized that this was her problem and she needed to deal with it, but she didn’t know how.
