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She turned over and forced her eyes closed. She would go to sleep not thinking about Alex, and hopefully not dream about her either.
Elizabeth must have drifted off eventually, because she was woken up in the dead of night by a blood-curdling scream, coming from the direction of the guest room.
Alex.
Elizabeth scrambled out of bed and bolted for the door, heading toward the sound of Alex’s scream.
4
Alex
There was smoke everywhere—in her eyes, in her lungs. Everything was moving, shaking. It was all only for several eternal seconds before Alex felt the sharp pain in the back of her head.
She woke as she so often did, with a scream on her lips, jerking upright in bed, clutching the covers to her chest.
She forced herself to stop screaming, but another scream was torn from her almost at once as the door to her room burst open. In her panicked state, it took her a few moments to realize that it was Elizabeth, dressed in a long purple satin nightgown.
“Alex! What’s wrong?” The light clicked on, causing Alex to wince as the brightness hit her eyes.
“Nothing,” she panted, squinting at Elizabeth. “I’m sorry, Lizzy. It was just a nightmare.” Alex only realized that she was shaking when Elizabeth scooped up one of her hands.
“I’m sorry, Alex. That sounded like some nightmare.”
Alex was already feeling embarrassed by her outburst. “It was nothing.” She was all too aware that her face was covered in tears and her heart was still galloping in her chest, something Elizabeth could no doubt feel through their joined hands.
“Move over.”
“What?”
“Move over.” Elizabeth nudged Alex, and Alex was so surprised that she allowed herself to be shuffled to the side, until Elizabeth was sitting in bed next to her, with both of their backs pressed up against the headboard, the blankets over their knees going up to their waists.
Elizabeth put an arm around Alex. “It’s okay. You’re alright. It was just a dream.”
“I know that,” Alex said stiffly. She wasn’t used to this. She had never had someone hold and comfort her after a nightmare. It wasn’t exactly a bad feeling, but it was alien and uncomfortable. And underneath it all she couldn’t shy away from how much desire she felt for Elizabeth and how much she realized she wanted more of her touch.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Alex hesitated. She had never talked about her nightmares to anyone except her therapist. She never would have thought she’d be confiding in Elizabeth, of all people, but maybe it would help to talk about it.
“It’s always the same,” she began in a shaky voice. “The day my unit died. I don’t have all that many memories of it, to be honest. I was knocked out only a few seconds after the mine went off. I remember the smoke and the violent shaking, and then… I woke up and everyone was gone. Dead. It was the end of everything.”
Alex was ashamed to feel hot tears falling down her cheeks again and she found she couldn’t meet Elizabeth’s gaze.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Alex. It wasn’t fair; no one should have to go through that.”
“It should have been me. I was their leader. I was supposed to protect them.”
“There wasn’t anything you could have done.”
“Yes, there was,” Alex said fiercely. “I could have had the route checked for mines beforehand, but I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
“It was a known route that we’d traveled many times before with no problems. Someone must have planted the mine while everyone was sleeping.”
“Then you had no reason to believe it would be there.”
“I should still have checked.”
