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Why was he doing this? He was just going to leave like everyone in my life did. I couldn’t go through it again. If today had taught me anything, it was that I couldn’t help others. I had tried to for my brother and look where it got me. I had done that for my parents, always trying to be the best daughter, so they wouldn’t have the extra trouble, and that hadn’t saved them from dying early.
“I need to leave,” I said, but didn’t move from where I stood.
A muscle in Austin’s jaw ticked, but then his entire body relaxed, and he nodded as if accepting something.
“No, sweetie. You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying right here with Daddy.”
It felt like he had punched me below the belt.
“I don’t want to talk about our potential age-play relationship right now.”
“I think now is the best time. You’ve asked me before what I get out of this type of a relationship. This right here is what I get out of it.”
He was insane. Who would want me right now? I was a mess. “You get a crying woman who can’t control herself out of it? Wow, that really sucks for you.”
He looked at me sternly. “You will be punished for swearing, Miranda. If you want to look at this superficially, then yes, I get a crying woman out of a relationship like this. But I look at it deeper. I get to fill a need inside a woman who has had to be extremely strong her entire life. I get to be the person she can count on never to disappear or leave her side. No matter what she says or does.”
Oh gosh. What he said sounded tempting. To be able to rely on someone, to always have someone to go to when I was scared, anxious, lonely, etc. I wanted badly to run into his arms, but I couldn’t because if he changed his mind, if he let me down like all the others had, it’d kill me.
I shook my head. My throat was closing from all the sobs trying to escape.
“I’m not taking no for an answer, young lady. You need this, and your Daddy is here.” He started toward me, and I took several panicked steps backward to get away from him. Unfortunately, I backed into a bookcase and had nowhere else left to go.
He got there and tried to wrap his arms around me.
“No, please!” I begged, pushing him away with the last bit of energy I had.
“It’s all right, Miranda. Daddy is here.”
Once he enveloped me in his strong embrace, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I sobbed out all the stress, sorrow, anger, and betrayal I had felt for as long as I could remember.
I screamed and cried, but he never let me go. He stood there and held onto me, acting as the rock I had craved for so long but had given up all hope of ever getting.
It felt like hours had gone by when I finally settled down. I was utterly spent.
“That’s my good girl. Daddy is so proud of you, Miranda.” He placed a kiss on my forehead as I sagged against him. As exhausting and painful as it had been to experience that tornado of emotions, I felt at peace. I also felt happier and safer than I had in years. He was proud of me, and true to his word, he didn’t let me go, not even when I had begged him to.
“You sure you still want this?” I croaked out. My voice was hoarse, my throat raw. I pulled away from him enough to look at his face. I wanted to see if he was trying to lie with his answer.
“Yes,” he said firmly. “You may think you get all the benefits in this type of a relationship, but being trusted and given the honor to care for you when you open up the most vulnerable side of yourself makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world.”
His gaze never left mine as he spoke. Without a doubt in my mind, he was telling the truth.
His sweet words had me tearing up again.Damn hormones.I tried to hide my fresh tears by wiping them away with the back of my hand. I had never been one to cry, learning long ago it wouldn’t help me out of a situation, and I was growing frustrated with myself for suddenly turning into some type of sap.
“You have no need to hide your emotions, sweetheart.”
I was going to protest but realized how silly it’d be. I had just had a meltdown in front of him. A couple of little tears weren’t going to bother him. “Okay,” I whimpered, letting my hand drop to my side.
“We need to get you something to drink.”
The thought of him leaving me, if only for a moment, had me tensing up. “Don’t go,” I whispered, scrunching up some of his shirt in my fist.
“I’m not going anywhere without you, little lady.”
Before I could ask what he meant, he scooped me up and carried me bridal style down to the kitchen. He managed to open the fridge without putting me down and said, “Grab something for yourself to drink.”
I scanned my options and chose a blue Gatorade. I closed the door and was carried to his study.
