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Enzo groaned. “You know how he is. It’s like he has no emotions,” he sighed. “And even if he does, he would never show them. He doesn’t want to have some long, drawn-out discussion over you guys’ shit, so just go home and pretend everything is normal. The only emotion he ever displays is anger anyway, and you don’t want that.”
I remembered Enzo and Benito’s fight over Tex. They had brawled like they were strangers instead of brothers. That was the very height of Benito’s anger. I didn’t want to see that shit, or God forbid, if it got any worse than that.
“I’m taking a shower.”
“Go home,” Enzo snapped. “Listen, if he calls me one more time asking if you’ve swung by my place, I’m going to find you, stab you, and deliver you to him.”
“Ain’t I the one who kidnaps you?” I mused.
“Not this time. Get your shit together.”
Enzo hung up, and I stared at the phone.He’s in a mood.I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know what his deal was. Sighing, I placed my phone on the counter and climbed into the shower. Tepid water hit my body. I clenched my teeth and cleaned up anyway.
Ash came back to my mind once more. He’d looked like an abandoned puppy left on the side of my car that day. I had to get away, though. Even without a locked room, it felt as if the walls were closing in around me. That tight, choking feeling around my throat, the way I struggled to pull in a full breath, I had to go. I needed my goddamn freedom!
I slammed my hand against the wall. “Shit!”
My fist vibrated with pain as I pulled it back to stare at my reddened knuckles. Ash wouldn’t get out of my head. He was annoying, clingy, and plain weird, but I still wanted to check on him like I’d wanted to do every single goddamn day. Any other time I would have drowned myself in good booze, tight holes, and my body weight in weed. Why hadn’t I done it this time?
I shook out my fist as I busied myself with scrubbing the blood from my skin. My nails scraped over the dried bits, watching them flick off before they disappeared. The process was taking a hell of a lot longer than it usually did. Or maybe I just had better places to be.
Once I was out, dried, and redressed, I packed up my bloody clothes to hand off to one of the men to destroy or clean. I stuffed them underneath the spare tire in my trunk before I slid behind the wheel. I stared straight ahead.
He’s not even going to be there. By now, he’s long gone.
I drove back to my house with that thought in the forefront of my mind. My place would be empty, just like it always was. I could go back to living a normal life.
I slinked out of my car, a cigarette dangling between my teeth. My fingers typed in the code, but the door was already opened. It swung inward.
I almost stumbled inside but caught myself as I stepped over the threshold. My expectations of a cold, empty home were dashed. Blues music played, people chatted, and something smelled good. I walked to my kitchen and froze.
Benito was standing beside Ash. They were close, both hovering over the stovetop as they talked so quietly I couldn’t make out what they were saying. My chest tightened as my nails sank into the soft meat of my palms.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
I wasn’t sure if I was asking Benito or Ash. They both turned around. Benito tilted his head without saying a word. Ash, on the other hand, stiffened, his hand on the spatula that rested in the pot he’d been stirring.
Neither of them spoke to me.
“Let me try this again,” I growled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“You left him alone with no food,” Benito said. “I knew you weren’t responsible enough for this. He has stuff to eat now.”
I turned to Ash, waiting for an answer. He was looking anywhere but at me. Finally, when he couldn’t glance away anymore, his gaze darted up to meet mine.
“You told me not to run.”
I stared at him like he’d grown a second head. Who would listen to that? I’d been gone…Shit, how many days has it been?They’d each passed in a blur as I buried myself in my work. Had I really been gone for a long time?
Every once in a while, I simply… disappeared. It didn’t make sense, but I was still there, able to walk, talk, and function. But I was gone too. Only coming back when the world took on its sharp edges, and I could feel again.
Although I preferred not being able to feel at all.
“Gin. Are you okay?” Benito asked.
I yanked my nails from my skin, a grin growing on my lips as I nodded. “Peachy. As always.”
“Gin.”
