Page 122 of Paid In Full


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“Look at me. Hey, look at me!” Benito grabbed my chin until I stared into his eyes. “What happened?”

“He’s gone,” I finally choked out.

Benito looked around. The truth seemed to dawn on him before his eyes cut back to me.

“Where is he?”

“I kicked him out.”

Benito frowned. “Why? I thought you liked him.”

I shoved against him, but he wouldn’t let up. “He was meeting up with his father behind my back. Giving him money and who knows what else,” I said. “What if he was feeding information to someone? I mean, Iboughthim,” I stressed. “If he wanted out, he could have gotten out that way. At least that’s what I thought.”

“Now, you don’t think that anymore.”

I shook my head. “No.”

“What changed your mind?”

I thought about the letter, the note, the gloves. Ash could get out if he wanted to with a little information to the feds. He didn’t have to buy me a nice present or write me a fucking letter saying he loved me. Truthfully, I doubted he even had the malice required to be that devious. All he cared about was making everyone around him happy and being by my side. I started sliding down the wall, but Benito yanked me back up.

"Hey, you’re drunk as fuck,” Benito snapped. “Calm down, and let’s think. Do you really believe he’s compromised our family?”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t. Not anymore.”

“You sure?”

I shoved my palms into Benito’s chest and pushed him away from me. “Fuck you!” I snapped. “All you care about is this goddamn family and its reputation. You’ve turned me into you! A paranoid asshole who can’t be happy because I’m too goddamn worried someone’s going to stab me in the back!”

Benito’s fist collided with my face. My head whipped to the side. When I looked back, I panted, rage growing and spreading inside of me.

“Fuck you!” I shouted.

Another punch. This one made my head fall against the wall. I saw spots as I slid down and ended up in a heap. Benito always did have fists like hammers. How the hell Enzo fought with him and held his own was beyond me. Maybe it was because I could never really make myself hurt them. They had fucked up families, but mine had been golden with dad. I had shit they never would, and it ate at me, making me feel like it was somehow my fault.

“I didn’t ask you to be like me,” Benito said calmly, adjusting his jacket. “You don’t need to live your life like mine. It’s my job to look after this family, to care about you two and love you two and fucking take care of you two!” he yelled. Benito grabbed the front of my shirt. “I’ve already taken on the burden of endless pain I have to deal with. You don’t need to do that, and neither does Enzo.”

I sucked in a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to be a screwup in your eyes.”

“You’re not,” Benito said. “Sure, sometimes you fuck around, but when push comes to shove, you’re there for me. Always have been. You scare the fuck out of me when you go into your episodes, but I never put you away because I thought you were a screwup. I did it because...” He trailed off.

“Cuz of what?” I muttered.

“I was scared, okay?” he snapped. “You’re the only goddamn family I have, and I couldn’t stop you from smashing your head into walls, punching shit until your knuckles were torn up, and driving that goddamn car so fast you nearly killed yourself a handful of times. The only choice I had was to put you in there. When I threaten you, it’s because I don’t want you to go back. I need you here, with me, and so does Enzo.” Benito’s eyes clouded. “Ash needs you too. You need him. Now, where the fuck is he?”

My heart was on a rollercoaster, and Benito was asking me questions. I couldn’t even think straight anymore. Part of me wanted to punch him back as I tasted the blood on my lip, but the other part wanted to grab and hug him. Even he gave a damn about Ash. On top of that, he’d finally told mewhyhe’d locked me away. Before, it was always met with half-truths and a lot of BS, but I got it. Even in my drunken state, I understood. If I were in his position, I probably would have done the same thing. If the roles were reversed, I would have been freaked out too.

Feels damn good to know it’s not just an image thing. He actually gives a shit.

Benito plopped down on the floor near me. He shoved a pack of cigarettes in my direction. I took it, dumped one out, and shoved it into my mouth. Benito leaned forward with his lighter. The flame flickered, dancing in the half-darkness of my empty fucking house as the end of the cigarette lit.

I sucked in a breath and blew it out. “How’d you know about me?” I asked.

“Melony called. Said I should check in on you,” he muttered as he lit up along with me. “I came right over. Traffic was a bitch.”

Frowning, I tilted my head. “Melony called you?”

“Yeah.”

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