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Laughing, I shoved away from Ash. “Yeah? How am I supposed to believe you? I get it. You’ve got trauma, kid. All of us do! You know what I went through with Brycen and all that fucking drama that came with it. So, why the hell should I believe you?”
“You should believe me because I’m telling the truth,” he said, pushing off the wall as he walked toward me. He grabbed my shirt. “I love you.”
I threw up a hand after shoving him away. “I don’t want to hear that shit now.”
Ash’s eyes watered. “It's true. I love you so much it fucking hurts, Giancarlo. Why would I betray you? What would I get out of it?”
“A hell of a lot,” I pointed out. I shook my head, wiping a hand down my face. “I don’t know what you’ve done. What you’ve said. I can’t go back to that fucking place,” I muttered, pacing back and forth. “Being caged up like an animal. Directed around all day for who knows how many years.” How much had I told him? What did he have on me? What would they put me away for this time?
“You won’t!” Ash shouted. “Not because of me. Please, believe me.”
How? Ash wanted me to trust him so easily, but my head was screaming to run, to get as far away from him as possible. The other side of me, the one that had fallen in love with him, wanted to grab him, shove him into a closet and lock him away. Enzo was right; letting someone you loved go was complete and total bullshit. My heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest. I didn’t know if I wanted to hold Ash or shake him.
“Gin.”
“No,” I said shortly, stepping away from him as he reached out to me again. “I can’t trust you.”
“What?” he whispered.
I turned on my heels. Ash called me, but I ignored him as I took the stairs two at a time to my office. I lifted the rug and typed my number into the safe as the sound of Ash’s feet bounded up the steps. By the time he walked into the room, I had stood up. I tossed a stack of banded bills at his feet.
“When we started this, I agreed to give you five hundred thousand if we decided to part ways. Consider this me being generous because I don’t owe you shit after what I saw today.” I slammed the vault shut, kicked the rug over it and stepped backward. “If you decide to give it all to your dickhead father, that’s on you.”
Ash shook his head. “I was telling him I couldn’t do it anymore,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. I ignored the way my heart squeezed. “The money I was giving him was to tell him to fuck off, that I didn’t want to sneak around and keep giving him shit anymore. You have to believe me.”
“I don’t have to do shit.” I reached into my pocket, pulled out my lighter, and lit the smoke dangling from my lips. “You need to get out of my place.”
His eyes widened, his jaw dropping. “No.”
“I don’t give a damn where you have to go.” I nodded to the money. “That’s more than enough to get you a taxi and a hotel room for a long ass time. Get out.”
Ash choked out a sob. “I’m not going anywhere!”
“I can’t trust you,” I stressed. “You think I’m going to go to sleep with you roaming around my place? Just wait for you and dear daddy to slit my throat in my sleep? Take the money and leave.”
Ash snatched up the stacks of money. My chest constricted, sickness twisting in my gut. I wanted to vomit seeing that money in his hand, knowing that he had picked it up, that he’d take it, only twisted the knife. Yeah, I’d given it to him. But some part of me clung to stupid hope that...
That what? That he’s not fucking me over? Bullshit. He and Roger were in on this from the start. Every moment, everything between us, it was all to get my money and hell, who knows? Maybe they had more in store and thought I’d never figure this shit out.
I couldn’t take another heartbreak. My chest felt like fire was burning me from the inside out. I couldn’t do this shit!
Ash crossed the room, opened the window and tossed the money out of it. He slammed it down and turned to me. Our eyes locked, my heart racing.
“I don’t want your money.”
“We both know what this was,” I muttered. “Consider our arrangement dissolved.”
“I love you.”
“So what?”
Ash's chest rose and fell as he looked at me. He raised a hand like he wanted to touch me but let his arm drop as if he’d had second thoughts. Turning on his heels, he headed for the door.
“I can’t make you believe me. Lying was on me. I know you have serious trust issues, and I get it. But I’m telling the truth. I love you. I was turning my father away. And I was never using you, ever.” He turned around in the doorway. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I know how sensitive you are.”
I scoffed. “I’m not fucking sensitive.”
“Deep down where no one can see it, you are. Everyone thinks you’re just goofy, but the truth is that you freak out. You think too much. Sure, you play it all off like life is one big game, but I think if you didn’t, you would hate yourself. You’d never drag yourself out of your misery. I see that, Gin, every fucking bit of it. So I’m sorry I did this to you. I get why you can’t trust me, why you’re trying to hurt me. Even though I think you’re really just hurting yourself right now.” He lingered in the doorway as I stared at him. “I— Nevermind.”
