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But this had to be the last time. There was no doubt in my mind any longer. Zepherin and I would only end in a hail of disaster. We were over before we’d even really had a chance to begin. Doomed from the start.
If I wanted to save myself the heartbreak, now was the time to cut him loose.
29
ZEPH
Imade love to her in the bathtub then in my room, then in the bath again. We fucked, ate, slept, then did it all again, because it was easier than her saying words I didn’t want to hear. If I could just keep her quiet—press my tongue into her mouth, steal her words with my touch—she wouldn’t say the things I could see turning over behind her eyes.
I knew I’d gone too far. Taking her on that altar, not stopping when my mother and Father Byron had walked in on us. It had been too much for anyone to be okay with.
I’d wanted to blow my life up. Give them a reason I couldn’t ever come back. But I’d hit the self-destruct button so hard I’d taken her out with me.
Shame poured in. Hate that I always did this. It had been the same with Annie. I’d got lost in her, used her as a balm on my jagged edges. Drew her in too tight only to strangle her. Not literally, but the death had been the same. Her out of my life forever.
Now I’d done the same with Lyric.
I watched her from the bath while she got dressed with her back to me, dragging one of my T-shirts over her head and then pulling out her long hair, the ends damp from the bath.
“Lyric.”
We’d barely spoken all day. Every time she’d tried, I cut her off, pleasuring her until the only words she’d uttered were, “I’m coming.”
If she was getting dressed, she was leaving, and I needed to talk to her before she walked out that door. But she’d completely shut down. Wouldn’t speak. Wouldn’t turn in my direction.
“Lyric. Look at me.”
“Llamas.”
I froze. The water in the bath around me may as well have been ice-cold. “What?”
She finally turned on me. “Llamas. I’m done, Zeph. This is finished. Safe word activated.”
I stood too quickly, water spraying off my body. She flinched away. I wasn’t entirely sure it was the water she was avoiding, and my suspicions were confirmed when I reached for her and she avoided my touch.
“Don’t, Zeph.”
With her shorts back on and tied around her waist, she shoved her feet in her sneakers and strode through my house. I followed her, not caring I was stark naked or dripping water everywhere. She yanked open the front door.
“Wait.” I caught the door, stopping her from opening it fully.
“I can’t do this right now. I need to go pick up Amelia. It’s late. She’s probably the last one there.”
I blinked and looked over at the clock on my wall only to find she was right.
She used the momentary distraction to slip out beneath my arm, and then she was running across the lawn toward the daycare.
“Shit,” I muttered. I didn’t even have so much as a towel. I couldn’t run after her. But I needed to talk to her. Explain. Come up with some sort of plan to move forward, because letting her go wasn’t something I could do. Not again. Not with her. I ran back to my bedroom, found the nearest pair of sweats and a T-shirt, dragging them on over my still-damp body. Without bothering to find shoes, I ran barefoot across the lawn, sprinting because the only woman I’d ever loved was about to slip through my fingers.
I slammed my way inside the daycare, my heart stopping when I heard Lyric’s shouts.
“You fucking pervert! Get away from her!”
Father Byron looked up from a beanbag, Amelia reading a story on his lap.
Lyric leaned down and snatched her daughter from him, clutching her close and backing away.
Pamela, the only educator left in the room, rushed to Lyric’s side, but her tone was admonishing. “Lyric, Father Byron is one of the other priests. He was just reading Amelia a story while we waited for you since you are quite late. We called you, but you didn’t answer. Eventually, we had to call Amelia’s father to come down here.”
